IC post open to residents of apartment 3/4

[someday_to_you]

Alfons is not happy with the Nexus today.  Getting turned into a girl by a water balloon was not high on his list of things to go through ever.

And now he has to go see Edward.  God, embarrassing.  At least Riza comforted him a bit.

As they enter the apartment, he turns to Riza and speaks with considerable relief.  "At least we didn't run into Greed

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[someday_to_you]

Alfons could almost snap there; he hates the repeated 'it could be worse,' reassurance, but- Edward means well, and so did everyone else who said it, so he shoves the annoyance away. It's not their fault they can't do much to change it.

Edward's hand makes Alfons tense, and he's admittedly tempted to pull away, shut his mouth, and hide in a corner until this weirdness is gone. The only thing that holds him there is the worry in Edward's voice, which helps to yank him out of the unpleasant memories he was swimming in at the sight of Edward.

He caves when he looks over at Edward, unfolding from his uncomfortable position and practically throwing himself onto Edward, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face against the older man's neck. He's not sniffling. YOU HEARD NOTHING. "S'just bad memories n'm'sorry, I remembered 'n... n'... y'shouldn't worry." Not sniffle. "S'silly."

[superman_dead]

Shouldn't worry? The fact that Alfons just crumbled and latched onto him like that (and sniffled- he heard it!) makes Edward only worry more. He blinks, wide-eyed and bewildered, slipping his arms around Alfons to hold him (and yes, it's a little weird to be holding Alfons and feel breasts against his ribs like that, but this is Edward, ignoring it and most decidedly saying nothing).

"Hey," he whispers, kissing the other man's temple lightly, "hey, it's okay. Talk to me? What's wrong? What bad memories?"

Edward is now more than a little worried. And also vaguely wondering if there's someone he has to beat up for hurting Alfons. Aw, how cute. He's protective.

[someday_to_you]

No, no, you didn't hear sniffling. Shush. Just because Alfons is clinging and making small unhappy sounds into the curve of Edward's shoulder doesn't mean they were sniffly unhappy sounds. (Alfons, you protest so much.)

We're not even gonna discuss the girl thing, dammit.

"Bad, jus'- bad person, bad things. With'em. Don'wanna remember." Mumble mumble NOT SNIFFLES. Well, Edward, if you were wondering if you'd have to hurt somebody, he probably confirmed it for you.

[superman_dead]

No, no, Edward's pretty sure it's sniffling, and it's making him worry even more. He turns a bit to hold Alfons better, rubbing his back soothingly.

"Alfons?" He's keeping his voice quiet, trying to calm the other man as much as he can. "Talk to me? Please? I can't fix anything if I don't know what's going on."

He's keeping from balling his hands into fists. He's tempted to figure out how to get back to Munich just so he can go beat someone up. Man, that makes two people he has to beat up if he can ever find the portal home. Roy and then whoever this 'bad person' is.

He needs to start keeping a list.

[someday_to_you]

Alfons would like to stop worrying Edward, but is having trouble doing anything but cling- the sniffles are going away, at least.

He nuzzles a little closer, sighing softly, wishing he'd never brought up anything. When he answers Edward after a few more moments of calming himself his voice is firmer, and a lot less mumbley. "It only- he- h-he wasn't really a bad person. It's not fair to say that- only- he said things that hurt and I... I'd rather not remember that all over again."

[superman_dead]

You'd think he's not hearing Alfons's insistance to let the subject lie. Edward continues rubbing Alfons's back and holding him tightly. "What'd he say?" he asks quietly, prodding gently. He can't refute any ideas that have obviously stuck and festered if he doesn't know what he's refuting.

[someday_to_you]

Does Edward ever hear insistences of people avoiding addressing their issues? Doubtful. Unless they're his own, and then he is fully behind them.

HAY ED do you like non sequiturs? Sort-of-non-sequiturs? Riza's good at them, and Alfons can pull out a few every now and then too. "You've seen how my world is," he almost whispers, voice going tight. "I didn't realize I was gay and decide that was all right in a day. It wasn't- it wasn't that easy."

He pauses, and his voice wavers when he speaks again. "S-So I can't blame him for... not being able to handle it. He decided it was wrong. I didn't take it well. He said things about what's wrong and right that wouldn't have really mattered, if somebody else had said it."

That was an elegant dodge of what Edward asked, but he's not willing to go into details. Obviously something that being gender-swapped made fresh in his mind, but he's not offering answers.

[superman_dead]

No, Edward doesn't. He can be a complete hypocrite that way, but he's also mostly just very protective of his loved ones. He wants to help, however he can, even if it means poking and prodding at things they don't want him to.

Edward pulls back a little, grabbing Alfons's shoulders and making him look at him. "Hey, look at me. You know damn well I don't think it's wrong. I don't know what he said-" Edward kisses Alfons's forehead lightly then, before continuing, "-but you'll never hear anything like that from me. I love you."

He lifts his hands to cup Alfons's face. "So please? Tell me? What did he say?"

[someday_to_you]

Edward, Alfons thinks you're silly, sweet, but silly. Of course, it was his fault for getting the message across wrong, but the direction Edward took it is one they already have addressed.

"I know- of course, I know you don't and you'd never say that, and I don't either- I hope you know that too." He holds Edward's gaze for all of that, but blushes and looks down when he tries to answer Edward's question.

"It's not that important. But what he said... I knew I didn't agree with it. It made me determined to be myself; it hurt a lot, but things got clearer. And if I hadn't had that-" Alfons looks back up at Edward, smiling faintly, "-maybe I wouldn't have been comfortable with how I felt when I met you. So it had a silver lining- I suppose."

He looks more cheerful, so that's good, right? Despite the fact he's avoiding what about seeing Edward upset him, besides the dragging up bad memories of past crappy boyfriends.

[superman_dead]

Edward's expression of concern doesn't change for a second, watching Alfons, then he drops his hands to his lap and smiles- not a truly sincere smile, by a long shot; he's still worried, and now he's feeling approximately like someone told him his childhood pet was run over (nevermind that Edward never had a childhood pet, as Hohenheim and animals never got along, and Trisha never allowed them to keep any pets, in case Hohenheim ever came home).

Right. Something he can't fix.

See that smile? There's no way it could be anything but 100% sincere, with how warm it is.

He's gotten better at that faking thing.

"All right," he says quietly, and kisses Alfons's forhead once more lightly, before he gets to his feet. "Come on, Riza's making some tea. Might help shake off the soggy feeling from the water balloon."

[someday_to_you]

The degree of Edward's sincerity doesn't even register on Alfons, who's too shakey and torn about how he's feeling to notice any more than the fact he hasn't asked Edward to ease his worries yet and Edward's leaving already and that can't happen yet. Nothing else can help him sort himself out than an assurance either way about how Edward feels.

He grabs hold of Edward's shirt before the older man can take a step, staring silently for a moment at his hand tugging the fabric before looking up at Edward's face, a faint pleading look in his eyes.

"It matters to you, r-right, how I am? You'd rather have me like I normally am- a-and you wouldn't try to change anything about me? I know you'd love me no matter what, but..."

Alfons's expression is barely short of openly begging Edward to say yes, possibly about a million times, although he doesn't know it- he doesn't have much control over his emotions let alone his face right now.

[superman_dead]

Edward pauses and blinks, glancing back at Alfons, staring with a dumbfounded expression as he talks.

This couldn't be what bothered him, could it?

Edward sits back down on the bed across from Alfons, taking both of Alfons's hands into his own. "Listen to me," he says quietly. "I wouldn't change a thing about you. Not ever. You're right, I'd love you regardless. That's not even a question. But no, I would never want you to be something different, outwardly or inwardly. You are who you are, Alfons, and if you think for some reason that I'd change that, you're wrong."

He bows his head, lifting Alfons's hands to his lips, then smiles and looks back up at him. "I love you, and you are a man named Alfons Heiderich. That's who I love. This, this will wear off. Doesn't mean I magically don't love you anymore or desire you more, or anything silly like that. It'll pass, and you'll still be the man that I intend to be with for as long as we're both still alive, all right

[someday_to_you]

It could be! Part of it, at least. He's not completely nuts- the emotional roller coaster of gender swap, bad memories, and worry is pretty nerve wracking. Or maybe it's the damn hormones, Edward. You can blame those for your crazy boyfriend.

It's difficult for the mun to get more than ;_; ♥ out of Alfons for a reaction, but kicking your pups does wonders. Right, out of the narration...

Alfons's heart is broken in the best way, probably from trying to love Edward too much at once. He covers his eyes when Edward's done speaking, definitely sniffling with tears as a bonus now.

"I know- IknowIknowIknow m'-m'sorry- S-Scheiße, girls do cry more, it's easier or s-something," he says a bit ruefully, trailing off with a wet chuckle. "M'sorry. I know- I said it was silly. Only- Only I decided after that I'd find somebody who preferred me as I was so it sorta- sorta made me- it doesn't matter, I love you, s-so thank you

[superman_dead]

Edward's arms slide around to hold Alfons tightly when the other man scoots closer and leans against his shoulder. He laughs a little, and kisses Alfons's forehead. "Well, good thing I'm not a girl then. Wouldn't wanna give you a reason to hit me."

Lightly, he nuzzles his neck. "Of course I prefer you as you are. Normally, that is. Quite frankly..." He pulls back just a little to look at Alfons a bit better. "This whole 'you with breasts' thing is a little weird."

OMGWTF, Ed, when did you watch Armageddon and not tell your mun?!

[someday_to_you]

"I'd only love you slightly less than I used to if you were, I promise," he responds teasingly. ...Apparently Alfons has been listening to The Smiths, argh, stop the pop culture references.

Alfons makes a face when Edward looks at him. "Trust me, I have a full sense of the weirdness. I'm relieved somebody else does too."

[superman_dead]

"Oh, only slightly less?" He snorts. "I'm touched." Then, in a marvelous display of maturity, Edward sticks his tongue out. Mature, Ed!

"Oh, good. Then it's not just me." He kisses him lightly. "Come on. Riza should have the tea made by now."