My complaints
Last night was pretty good...OC Marathon, company of friends.
Unfortunately, I finally got sick. My throat hurts. It's not too incredibly bad though.
Even more unfortunately, when it rains it pours. Not even 2 months after getting my first ticket, I just got another one today. It's kind of funny, since I never usually have a problem with police/driving. I ran a red light, actually not even speeding. I didn't think anything of it, but then there was a cop further down that like came into the street to direct me onto the grass. It was weird. He was kind of young, and he seemed way to "routine" about it. When I finally got the ticket, it was different looking than the previous one I had. I couldn't find a price on it. He was like, "any questions?" and I actually asked how much it was for. He didn't really give me a good response, just the usual "careful when merging back onto the road." I guess if I had thought about it more, I probably should've asked what happens if you haven't yet gone to traffic school for the ticket you just got in September. Didn't think of it though. So the whole way home, I drove (very safely, mind you) trying to find if there was some sort of fine. I called my mom, she wasn't happy. My dad's having a colonoskopy today, so ontop of that, I'm sure he'll be more than livid to hear that when I actually found the price it was a nice $185.50!!! I hate my life.
Which brings me to the point I wanted to address. I have a problem with money. In general. I hate the fact that the world revolves around money. Anything you want, need, or have costs money in some way or another. Sure we live in Boca, the geocenter of wealth in South Florida. I feel like if I had asked the cop, "What makes you think I have 185 dollars?" he would have looked at me and had several reasons. But the truth of the matter is, my car is 10 years old, and fairly problematic, the lacoste shirt I was wearing was my grandpa's, and I got it for free, the gap jeans I was wearing I got half off when I worked (or slaved) there 2 years ago, and my shoes I purchased on no sales tax week. My ipod was a birthday gift from my dad who only had to pay tax on it because it was a work reward from his job, and really I just fucking hate how everything cost money!!
Now, on top of being unemployed since the start of school (like usual), I have to figure out how to come up with the price of a pair of Diesel jeans...ha. Yes, I'm glad I'm going to start working again this week at the bookstore (finally), but this ticket is really not good at all for this month of November...the month I've been waiting for for half the years because of all the sweet shows that are occurring. It's just really frustrating, nobody can expect a ticket any given day of the week. By the way, my bank accounts amount to less than 2 dollars as we speak. So, while my parents will probably give me hell later on throughout this glorious long weekend, I can also take comfort in the fact that not only will I probably not be able to afford to go to at least 3 shows I wanted to, but my insurance will probably magically go up, I won't be able to afford gifts for my friends and family for Christmas and birthdays, and I'm sure my sorry-ass grades are not going to make this winter seem any better in my parents' reactions to me. It sucks.
I wish penalties like tickets worked on a basis of your income status. I think it might be more effective, or at least more threatening. Not to say that 185 dollars to a jobless college student isn't threatening, it's just that even a lower amount is enough to seriously damage not only their pockets, but possibly their semester. To a rich lawyer doing 70 on Yamato in his BMW, it's basically just like a mosquito bite: it's annoying for maybe a few days, but nothing significant.
Anyhow, I'm just gonna be pissed off until I figure out a way to get out of this debt and still maintain a "normal" life. Forget any aspirations of anything fun involving money...or driving for that matter. My gas allowance is as good as gone if I know my dad. He'll probably figure out some way to get me to school and then home and not have any socially gratifying part of my life...or even better, he'll make ME figure it out. I'm just so thankful that I have Bank of America as a father when I spend all my money on entertainment and temporary shit.
So yeah, this is me complaining....annoyed, worried, and yeah, guilty of just barely running a red light. I know it's my own fault. I could have rationed my earnings from this summer more wisely, instead of spending probably closer to $200 of it on iTunes. Maybe I should find a new hobby, music is expensive when it adds up. Not to mention I haven't bought drumsticks or drumheads or guitar strings in I don't know how long. Oy vei!
I know I'm not usually one to complaint consistently, the truth is I probably keep more of my problems inside than any of you would know. I like to think of myself as a rational, thoughtful person. In many areas I am, and I cannot be blamed for the bad choices I see in others, but really we're all equal. I don't think anybody likes to dwell on their weaknesses, especially when they're really sucky weaknesses. I can say to my parents "look at what I don't do, I'm a pretty good kid when compared to..." but in reality, comparing never gets you far. My parents don't know how many freaking times I've lied to them this semester, right to their loving, concerned faces. I can reason and rationalize my weaknesses and struggles and stupidities in my own mind, but that's all it is...MY OWN mind. I hate arguing, but lying really sucks. Guilt sucks too...I guess I'm glad I at least have guilt about my wrongs. I guess maybe some people don't feel it...? I don't know.
So yeah, not really happy with life right now. I have no clue what I "want" to take next semester, nor do I care. I really couldn't care less about school, it's something my parents want for me. It just bothers me, because I know they'd let me do what I think I want, but that would mean even more financial ruin for me. Who can afford health insurance. Certainly not someone working at the FAU bookstore. Or anywhere that might be an enjoyable job, really.
So I guess the studio is ready to be worked on and then start mixing the Leger record. Truthfully, I've kind of lost my spark for the whole idea. It just might be because we started this whole endeavor in February, and it's almost winter, there are still problems with it that my bandmates don't really seem to care about, and it hasn't been touched in what seems like half a year. From a supposed summer release, it's gone from fall, to winter, and according to absolutepunk.net, spring of 07, apparently...don't really know how they got that info...Anyways, whereas I was excited to start mixing a week ago, I just can't help thinking that it might get dragged on, and into something we or at least I don't want. Sorry if I'm coming off as selfish or ungrateful, but I'm not completely sure my band shares my same mindset. And hell, this is my livejournal. These are actually my thoughts. I wish there were exciting pictures I could post, but we haven't been having many shows these days. In fact, the four of us can't even seem to agree on something acceptable to do when we hang out. I hope this can get smoothed out, because I know in my heart, if this can work, it's a golden opportunity.
I think I'm done ranting. Many thanks for any of you who took the time...
Unfortunately, I finally got sick. My throat hurts. It's not too incredibly bad though.
Even more unfortunately, when it rains it pours. Not even 2 months after getting my first ticket, I just got another one today. It's kind of funny, since I never usually have a problem with police/driving. I ran a red light, actually not even speeding. I didn't think anything of it, but then there was a cop further down that like came into the street to direct me onto the grass. It was weird. He was kind of young, and he seemed way to "routine" about it. When I finally got the ticket, it was different looking than the previous one I had. I couldn't find a price on it. He was like, "any questions?" and I actually asked how much it was for. He didn't really give me a good response, just the usual "careful when merging back onto the road." I guess if I had thought about it more, I probably should've asked what happens if you haven't yet gone to traffic school for the ticket you just got in September. Didn't think of it though. So the whole way home, I drove (very safely, mind you) trying to find if there was some sort of fine. I called my mom, she wasn't happy. My dad's having a colonoskopy today, so ontop of that, I'm sure he'll be more than livid to hear that when I actually found the price it was a nice $185.50!!! I hate my life.
Which brings me to the point I wanted to address. I have a problem with money. In general. I hate the fact that the world revolves around money. Anything you want, need, or have costs money in some way or another. Sure we live in Boca, the geocenter of wealth in South Florida. I feel like if I had asked the cop, "What makes you think I have 185 dollars?" he would have looked at me and had several reasons. But the truth of the matter is, my car is 10 years old, and fairly problematic, the lacoste shirt I was wearing was my grandpa's, and I got it for free, the gap jeans I was wearing I got half off when I worked (or slaved) there 2 years ago, and my shoes I purchased on no sales tax week. My ipod was a birthday gift from my dad who only had to pay tax on it because it was a work reward from his job, and really I just fucking hate how everything cost money!!
Now, on top of being unemployed since the start of school (like usual), I have to figure out how to come up with the price of a pair of Diesel jeans...ha. Yes, I'm glad I'm going to start working again this week at the bookstore (finally), but this ticket is really not good at all for this month of November...the month I've been waiting for for half the years because of all the sweet shows that are occurring. It's just really frustrating, nobody can expect a ticket any given day of the week. By the way, my bank accounts amount to less than 2 dollars as we speak. So, while my parents will probably give me hell later on throughout this glorious long weekend, I can also take comfort in the fact that not only will I probably not be able to afford to go to at least 3 shows I wanted to, but my insurance will probably magically go up, I won't be able to afford gifts for my friends and family for Christmas and birthdays, and I'm sure my sorry-ass grades are not going to make this winter seem any better in my parents' reactions to me. It sucks.
I wish penalties like tickets worked on a basis of your income status. I think it might be more effective, or at least more threatening. Not to say that 185 dollars to a jobless college student isn't threatening, it's just that even a lower amount is enough to seriously damage not only their pockets, but possibly their semester. To a rich lawyer doing 70 on Yamato in his BMW, it's basically just like a mosquito bite: it's annoying for maybe a few days, but nothing significant.
Anyhow, I'm just gonna be pissed off until I figure out a way to get out of this debt and still maintain a "normal" life. Forget any aspirations of anything fun involving money...or driving for that matter. My gas allowance is as good as gone if I know my dad. He'll probably figure out some way to get me to school and then home and not have any socially gratifying part of my life...or even better, he'll make ME figure it out. I'm just so thankful that I have Bank of America as a father when I spend all my money on entertainment and temporary shit.
So yeah, this is me complaining....annoyed, worried, and yeah, guilty of just barely running a red light. I know it's my own fault. I could have rationed my earnings from this summer more wisely, instead of spending probably closer to $200 of it on iTunes. Maybe I should find a new hobby, music is expensive when it adds up. Not to mention I haven't bought drumsticks or drumheads or guitar strings in I don't know how long. Oy vei!
I know I'm not usually one to complaint consistently, the truth is I probably keep more of my problems inside than any of you would know. I like to think of myself as a rational, thoughtful person. In many areas I am, and I cannot be blamed for the bad choices I see in others, but really we're all equal. I don't think anybody likes to dwell on their weaknesses, especially when they're really sucky weaknesses. I can say to my parents "look at what I don't do, I'm a pretty good kid when compared to..." but in reality, comparing never gets you far. My parents don't know how many freaking times I've lied to them this semester, right to their loving, concerned faces. I can reason and rationalize my weaknesses and struggles and stupidities in my own mind, but that's all it is...MY OWN mind. I hate arguing, but lying really sucks. Guilt sucks too...I guess I'm glad I at least have guilt about my wrongs. I guess maybe some people don't feel it...? I don't know.
So yeah, not really happy with life right now. I have no clue what I "want" to take next semester, nor do I care. I really couldn't care less about school, it's something my parents want for me. It just bothers me, because I know they'd let me do what I think I want, but that would mean even more financial ruin for me. Who can afford health insurance. Certainly not someone working at the FAU bookstore. Or anywhere that might be an enjoyable job, really.
So I guess the studio is ready to be worked on and then start mixing the Leger record. Truthfully, I've kind of lost my spark for the whole idea. It just might be because we started this whole endeavor in February, and it's almost winter, there are still problems with it that my bandmates don't really seem to care about, and it hasn't been touched in what seems like half a year. From a supposed summer release, it's gone from fall, to winter, and according to absolutepunk.net, spring of 07, apparently...don't really know how they got that info...Anyways, whereas I was excited to start mixing a week ago, I just can't help thinking that it might get dragged on, and into something we or at least I don't want. Sorry if I'm coming off as selfish or ungrateful, but I'm not completely sure my band shares my same mindset. And hell, this is my livejournal. These are actually my thoughts. I wish there were exciting pictures I could post, but we haven't been having many shows these days. In fact, the four of us can't even seem to agree on something acceptable to do when we hang out. I hope this can get smoothed out, because I know in my heart, if this can work, it's a golden opportunity.
I think I'm done ranting. Many thanks for any of you who took the time...