(no subject)
Last night I decided to leave for home. I got my things packed up and together and started putting them in my car. I woke my poor grandmother up and told her I was going home. She told me I wasn't and asked to talk to my parents. I told her I spoke to both of them and it was okay. That everything was okay. Really. She took it personally and started to cry. I told her it had nothing to do with her. She said she was sorry for being sick lately and not really wanting to go out and do things. I told her it wasn't about her and it was something completely diffeent but that I really needed to go home. I was crying, holding my keys, standing in the hallway. She begged me to not go because it was already midnight and she wouldn't get a wink of sleep knowing I was driving in the middle of the night. I told her I'd be fine. Once she got on the phone with my parents I decided I was an idiot. I went into my bed and let my pillow have my tears. She came in and sat at the foot of the bed. She wanted to have some tea and talk about what was wrong. I tried to decline as politely as I could. She told me to only dwell on the positive things in life and I told her that that was what was wrong. The positive things that were gone. She got her bible and started reading it to me. Of course, this helped none. She felt better I think, knowing that I was listening to her and I think she thought I was believing that the holy spirit really would make me feel better. I felt sick. I was ready to throw up, so I lied down and told her I was going to sleep. She left the room and I eventually did fall asleep. But I'm still not home. Where should I be? I don't know anymore.