(no subject)
I really feel like writing, and I filled up my most recent real-life journal and haven't bought a new one yet. I'm at the kitchen table trying to do school work for the last time. I ended up reading all of my final papers from last semester, and I was really surprised to find myself proud of them and a little regretful that I won't be forced to write about books that way ever again, if I don't go for another degree. I had a professor a couple of years ago who said all the time, "Someday you're going to wish your biggest problem was that someone was forcing you to read great books and write about them." And I know she was right.
I'm so tired of the Border Cafe. It's this difficult thing where it's been a second home, and a second world of people for me for the last 2 years, as well as my source of money, so there's a comfort there that I have trouble letting go of, and then I want to laugh out loud at myself for feeling sentimental about a serving job at a fake Mexican restaurant. I keep thinking that now that I'm done with school, it's the time for me to leave all of my comfort zones and try something new. Paul said he'd help me find a teaching job overseas while he's home for Christmas. He's transformed - he's so interesting and smart and outgoing and he sent me his essay for entrance to grad school so I could edit it, and it made me so happy for him, it was all about what he's learned living in China for the last couple years, and how he wants to work to bridge gaps between the countries and how he loves the culture, on and on. I'm proud of him, I can't wait to see him.
Anyway now I have to study algebra and write papers for other people for money. Then work. Everything feels calm.
I'm so tired of the Border Cafe. It's this difficult thing where it's been a second home, and a second world of people for me for the last 2 years, as well as my source of money, so there's a comfort there that I have trouble letting go of, and then I want to laugh out loud at myself for feeling sentimental about a serving job at a fake Mexican restaurant. I keep thinking that now that I'm done with school, it's the time for me to leave all of my comfort zones and try something new. Paul said he'd help me find a teaching job overseas while he's home for Christmas. He's transformed - he's so interesting and smart and outgoing and he sent me his essay for entrance to grad school so I could edit it, and it made me so happy for him, it was all about what he's learned living in China for the last couple years, and how he wants to work to bridge gaps between the countries and how he loves the culture, on and on. I'm proud of him, I can't wait to see him.
Anyway now I have to study algebra and write papers for other people for money. Then work. Everything feels calm.