Santa
In this sticky, controversial world of parenting, where everything is not only to be argued, but battled, unfriended, and glared over, apparently sweet ideas like Santa are not to be left out.
My theory on parenting won't take me far in the vocal parenting world. I say vocal world, because I do believe there are more quiet parents like me. The ones who are mostly worried about what works for their own child. Maybe interested in how others handled conundrums that stump them, but are woefully lacking in judgement if it doesn't fit our world view.
I often wonder if this is how it was when my parents and grandparents parented. Obviously it wasn't the same issues, but was it this cantankerous?
But back to Santa.
It started from a friend, "So, you're going to lie to your kid?"
No, it's not the Jesus is the reason for the season crowd. For the record, this friend is atheist...or agnostic, we haven't gone that far into it really. Also for the record, The Philosopher came home one day pointing out and naming all the Santas he saw before we'd even gotten around to it. So I do wonder how the families who don't "do" Santa handle that. That's not judgemental, I'm just honestly curious, because we have gotten a lot of presents from Santa that, imho, should not be labeled from Santa, but that's a rant for a different day.
I get it. I do. Some people had horrible life altering experiences of finding out the big secret that some freaky guy doesn't come down the chimney or through a mouse hole or however it is that Santa has always gotten into our house, and it scarred them for life. Something they would like to protect their child from. Or some people are just very serious people and don't believe in make-believe.
I for one, am not going to explain to the Philosopher that all cars don't have eyes and talk like Lightning McQueen. Or that rich people tend to try to fix the world more by giving people jobs and donating money than flying around in bat suits. Unless he asks.
I assume that's how I found out, that I asked my mom or dad. It was hardly remarkable. My mom to this day will not admit that Santa doesn't exist even in his red suited form. Ask me about the idea of Santa and I will argue to you that he does exist, in his own way.
So I would have taught the Philosopher about Santa. However, just as we only waved at the jolly guy from the door of his hut at the mall, I won't push the Santa thing. But he will know about Santa. Because Santa is magic. Sure he flies all over the world in one night and he knows when you are sleeping and when you are awake, but his magic is bigger than that. He gives anonymously and fiercely. He does not expect a thank you, he does not get any reward. I mean, the guy doesn't even get to see us open his gifts. Well, that may not be true, he does know when we're sleeping and when we're awake.
So, I hope that the Philosopher gets a few years of pure magic out of the question of Santa. Then I hope he gets a lifetime of magic from knowing that we make our own magic and that we can play Santa. Not just to tiny children we've "lied" to, but to strangers on the street or people we love. That we don't even have to wait 'til Christmas. That sometimes the best thing in the world is to brighten someone's day when they don't even know we are the ones doing it.
And that's partly why I will "lie" to my child. And I promise not to hate you if you decide not to "lie" to yours. Or tell you that you are stealing the magic of Christmas from your child. Because I don't know what happens in your house, and I assume that you make magic in your own way.
I also assume you have good reasons for all the other things that you do when parenting. In general, as long as you aren't actually torturing your child for no good reason, then I assume you have your reasons, even if I wouldn't agree with them. So, I hope you understand when I don't respond to your snark about my child's drink container of choice and why I shouldn't let him have it, regardless of its ability to help him cope with the massive situation he's in better than people 18 times his age. If you don't, I'll just hope Santa brings you coal next year.
My theory on parenting won't take me far in the vocal parenting world. I say vocal world, because I do believe there are more quiet parents like me. The ones who are mostly worried about what works for their own child. Maybe interested in how others handled conundrums that stump them, but are woefully lacking in judgement if it doesn't fit our world view.
I often wonder if this is how it was when my parents and grandparents parented. Obviously it wasn't the same issues, but was it this cantankerous?
But back to Santa.
It started from a friend, "So, you're going to lie to your kid?"
No, it's not the Jesus is the reason for the season crowd. For the record, this friend is atheist...or agnostic, we haven't gone that far into it really. Also for the record, The Philosopher came home one day pointing out and naming all the Santas he saw before we'd even gotten around to it. So I do wonder how the families who don't "do" Santa handle that. That's not judgemental, I'm just honestly curious, because we have gotten a lot of presents from Santa that, imho, should not be labeled from Santa, but that's a rant for a different day.
I get it. I do. Some people had horrible life altering experiences of finding out the big secret that some freaky guy doesn't come down the chimney or through a mouse hole or however it is that Santa has always gotten into our house, and it scarred them for life. Something they would like to protect their child from. Or some people are just very serious people and don't believe in make-believe.
I for one, am not going to explain to the Philosopher that all cars don't have eyes and talk like Lightning McQueen. Or that rich people tend to try to fix the world more by giving people jobs and donating money than flying around in bat suits. Unless he asks.
I assume that's how I found out, that I asked my mom or dad. It was hardly remarkable. My mom to this day will not admit that Santa doesn't exist even in his red suited form. Ask me about the idea of Santa and I will argue to you that he does exist, in his own way.
So I would have taught the Philosopher about Santa. However, just as we only waved at the jolly guy from the door of his hut at the mall, I won't push the Santa thing. But he will know about Santa. Because Santa is magic. Sure he flies all over the world in one night and he knows when you are sleeping and when you are awake, but his magic is bigger than that. He gives anonymously and fiercely. He does not expect a thank you, he does not get any reward. I mean, the guy doesn't even get to see us open his gifts. Well, that may not be true, he does know when we're sleeping and when we're awake.
So, I hope that the Philosopher gets a few years of pure magic out of the question of Santa. Then I hope he gets a lifetime of magic from knowing that we make our own magic and that we can play Santa. Not just to tiny children we've "lied" to, but to strangers on the street or people we love. That we don't even have to wait 'til Christmas. That sometimes the best thing in the world is to brighten someone's day when they don't even know we are the ones doing it.
And that's partly why I will "lie" to my child. And I promise not to hate you if you decide not to "lie" to yours. Or tell you that you are stealing the magic of Christmas from your child. Because I don't know what happens in your house, and I assume that you make magic in your own way.
I also assume you have good reasons for all the other things that you do when parenting. In general, as long as you aren't actually torturing your child for no good reason, then I assume you have your reasons, even if I wouldn't agree with them. So, I hope you understand when I don't respond to your snark about my child's drink container of choice and why I shouldn't let him have it, regardless of its ability to help him cope with the massive situation he's in better than people 18 times his age. If you don't, I'll just hope Santa brings you coal next year.