why won't you wait? i'ma gonna give it a break.
i've never experienced so much excitement and emotion and craziness in one day and coming from me that means a lot haha. uh i don't know what to say really. mostly i dont want to think or talk about it anymore. i'm exhausted as is my heart. am i a train moving too fast? am i? will i never experience love again because i'm too afraid? will chase be the only one i will ever love completely because he's the one thing i can't have? what has my world turned into? as great and optimistic as today has been, my track record only verifies one thing: that i have no luck in relationships. never have and never will. i want to love sometimes so badly, but once my stomach turns and i can't eat at all, i have to walk out the door without looking back. maybe i am incapable of love. maybe i just like feeling the crush stage and everything after that makes me sick. i don't know. but if he lets me down then i literally and entirely give up on love. i super super cross my heart and shoot its eyes out promise.