So how's it going, Thomas?
How's life going for me right now? Well.. it's kind of mixed.
I'm worried and confused, yet content at the same time.
Let me explain.
My dad told me something the other day that really kind of has me worried. Apparently, my family is in a rough financial state. My dad's business hasn't gotten him much money, and it's getting harder and harder to pay bills and other expenses. Well, what my dad told me was that if we can't get it together relatively soon, then we might have to move out of our house and into my grandfather's house for 'a while', and I have no idea how long that would be. Well, this leaves me where I'm worried. If I end up having to move out for whatever "while" this may be, then I'll end up losing a lot of things I cherish. My computer, my video games, and perhaps even some of my friends. My biggest worry for this would be my friends, obviously. My best friends are all here online.. and if I move out, then I don't think there'd be any way I could get in contact with them. Last thing I want is to lose my friends this way.. even if it's only for "a while".
My confusion comes from.. well.. relationship problems, honestly. Nikki recently had a journal mentioning how she's so confused over relationships, saying how she wants to be loved and cherished while loving and cherishing someone else, and how she hates being single and whatnot. Well, I'm in the same situation. For some reason, I've had this constant need to love and cherish someone, just as much as I've had to need to also be loved. I can't understand why I can't just get over things.. I can't stay happy with being single, for some reason. I used to think "Eh, a relationship isn't really needed to be happy", but now I'm going completely against that. After first tasting what a real relationship was like, I want more, and I can't seem to get over not having it anymore. This feeling is probably just hurting me more than helping me, but I don't know how to help it..
Now, even with that, I'm relatively content. I've got these "troubles" on my mind, yet somehow, I'm able to keep myself from getting depressed. I guess I'm just pretty upbeat about things sometimes, which is odd because usually I'm very sensitive about things. Perhaps I just learned how to take certain things after all the times of being helped through depressing problems in my life.
Either way, I'm at a mix of feelings right now.. so yeah.
I don't even know why I posted this journal, anyway. Just felt like getting this stuff out.
I'm worried and confused, yet content at the same time.
Let me explain.
My dad told me something the other day that really kind of has me worried. Apparently, my family is in a rough financial state. My dad's business hasn't gotten him much money, and it's getting harder and harder to pay bills and other expenses. Well, what my dad told me was that if we can't get it together relatively soon, then we might have to move out of our house and into my grandfather's house for 'a while', and I have no idea how long that would be. Well, this leaves me where I'm worried. If I end up having to move out for whatever "while" this may be, then I'll end up losing a lot of things I cherish. My computer, my video games, and perhaps even some of my friends. My biggest worry for this would be my friends, obviously. My best friends are all here online.. and if I move out, then I don't think there'd be any way I could get in contact with them. Last thing I want is to lose my friends this way.. even if it's only for "a while".
My confusion comes from.. well.. relationship problems, honestly. Nikki recently had a journal mentioning how she's so confused over relationships, saying how she wants to be loved and cherished while loving and cherishing someone else, and how she hates being single and whatnot. Well, I'm in the same situation. For some reason, I've had this constant need to love and cherish someone, just as much as I've had to need to also be loved. I can't understand why I can't just get over things.. I can't stay happy with being single, for some reason. I used to think "Eh, a relationship isn't really needed to be happy", but now I'm going completely against that. After first tasting what a real relationship was like, I want more, and I can't seem to get over not having it anymore. This feeling is probably just hurting me more than helping me, but I don't know how to help it..
Now, even with that, I'm relatively content. I've got these "troubles" on my mind, yet somehow, I'm able to keep myself from getting depressed. I guess I'm just pretty upbeat about things sometimes, which is odd because usually I'm very sensitive about things. Perhaps I just learned how to take certain things after all the times of being helped through depressing problems in my life.
Either way, I'm at a mix of feelings right now.. so yeah.
I don't even know why I posted this journal, anyway. Just felt like getting this stuff out.