Ken → 010

[insorrow]

Who: Ken Hidaka, Aya Fujimiya
Where: Espoir fountain.
Style: Starting in third, takes place after this toy-giraffe-related mishap.
Status: Closed.

Ground, swallow me up.

She hung up on him. Well, Ken honestly wasn't surprised. He had, he reflected as he stared at the phone in his hand without really seeing it at all, rather been asking for it.

Comments

[stillneedsakiss]

Aya's stomach continued to hurt as she ran out the door and down the steps. She raced through the streets and into the village. Scrambled around the corner. The moment the fountain was in sight, she slowed-- nearly stopped. Half of her felt like crying even before she saw Ken seated on the edge.

She didn't cry. Didn't greet him. Didn't say hello. Didn't comment on the plushie in his lap. Didn't push him into the water. She marched over, gaining the faintest hint of urgency as she drew nearer, and hugged him.

[insorrow]

Ken had been watching so hard for Aya that when she showed up, he almost missed her - and, when he saw her, saw her hesitate, he very nearly got up and walked away. She didn't look happy to see him and that was - well, it hurt,. but it wasn't a surprise. It was no surprise at all

[stillneedsakiss]

It hurt that he seemed so stiff. Stupid thing to be in a fuss about, but so was everything else making her feel upset. It also bothered that it took him so long to return the embrace. And that he wasn't even getting up. And that the only thing he had to say for himself was sorry.

She almost could have gone on a raging, ranting fit at Ken, but when she spoke her voice was only a quiet pout.

"Stand up, you idiot, and hug me properly."

[insorrow]

But shouldn't you be slapping me or something?

It was a stupid thing to think: it would have been an even stupider thing to say. Bewildering and utterly unwarranted though it seemed to him to be Ken was rather enjoying the whole hug thing and wasn't really all that eager on reminding Aya that she should really have wanted to do something far quicker, far more painful and about a hundred times less enjoyable to him than... well, what she was currently doing.

He got up anyway, just about remembering to retrieve the giraffe as he went and sitting it on the basin of the fountain: a ringside seat, so to speak, of whatever happened next. Giraffe dealt with, Ken put his arms about Aya, pulling the girl closer to him and resting his head on her shoulder and he could smell her shampoo and maybe, he thought, I should apologize again...

He still half-expected her to slap him.

"Man," he muttered to nobody in particular, "I really am, aren't I."

[stillneedsakiss]

It was better after he stood up. Aya adjusted her arms so that she had a nice, solid hold around Ken. She didn't say anything for a long while, her mind concentrating more on the simple feeling of having Ken's arms tightly around her waist

[insorrow]

He didn't know how he felt that she'd agreed. Not much, really. Ken had never been good at stuff like this: he knew that. It wasn't exactly a surprise to hear her say so, too...

It felt good to hug her. Better than good, and far more than he could ever have deserved: Aya's next question, coming as it did after what felt like hours of warmth and a weird sense of comfort and her was... well, perhaps it had been inevitable, but that still didn't mean he had to like it, or relish the thought of trying to answer. Ken sighed, lifting his head; her hair, dry and smelling slightly of her shampoo, prickled against his cheek and there was no good way to say this, was there? Or if there was, Ken sure as Hell didn't know it--

"Everyone saw that post," he said. "I didn't want them to, they... Yeah. Yeah, he knows. I'm really sorry."

It wasn't how he'd have wanted to fill Ran in on this one either.

[stillneedsakiss]

This probably would have been about the time a normal hug should be released. Aya recognized that, but she continued to hold on anyway, unable to muster the will to care whether she was adhering to codes of normalcy for an embrace. There were too many other things to try to sort out. Aya had acknowledged on more than one occasion that Ken was good-looking, and she tended to have a lot of fun when he was around. He was one of her closest friends in Somarium. And in a way, that strong friendship made the concept of being more than friends feel very strange

[insorrow]

"Huh? Oh... no. Not really. Just you liked stuffed animals, he was pretty calm actually, it was kinda--"

Weird? Maybe just a little.

"Well, I thought he'd be mad."

He drew back just a little, just enough that he could look down into her face - you can let go if you wanna, Aya, I won't be mad but I'm not doing it until you do - and if he had no real idea what he was supposed to make of the expression on it, she at least didn't seem to be angry or upset. It was as much as he could have dared to hope for after dragging this whole stupid-- stupid kinda thing he'd guiltily developed for her up in front of everybody and their dog.

And here she was hugging him in public when he'd done less than nothing to deserve it and Ken couldn't believe that Aya didn't, you know, mind this. Never mind returning his feelings: it was enough for now that she didn't think he was a total idiot for having them.

(At least one of them didn't.)

"I kinda," he said awkwardly, "thought you would be, too."

[stillneedsakiss]

He wasn't mad. That was rather telling. He was okay with it then? Or did he just think she'd have the sense not to go for it because hello, assassin?

Aya met Ken's eyes as he drew back, searching them for any further clue about what he was thinking. For the moment, her own mind was too cluttered to read much of anything beyond the fact he didn't seem unhappy.

"Why would I be mad? It was kind of sweet, really. I mean--" Her speech halted and she averted her eyes. "It might have been nice to find out another way but..."

She looked back, a quirked smile on her face. "It was really thoughtful of you to get something for me. And to treat it so importantly you asked for second opinions."

It was also downright adorable how he'd asked, and that he'd failed to filter it, but she'd save him the face of hearing it himself.

[insorrow]

Really, she thought it was sweet? I never, Ken thought, will understand women even if I live to be a hundred.

"I dunno," he managed; he glanced away, down at an unremarkable piece of paving, and wondered if he was blushing again. Maybe a little. Oh, damn Damn damn damn Hidaka will you stop that. "I... it's not very private, is it? I thought maybe

[stillneedsakiss]

Well, yes. It would have been nicer for it to be private. But he'd had good intentions. And publicity issues stated, it was still a point worth noticing that this was important enough to him he'd sought other opinions. It was clear real effort and thought was going behind it. He deserved big points for that.

"Chocolate strawberries are good. Anything is, really. I..."

Aya laughed weakly. "I don't know what to say, Ken. I wasn't expecting this at all."

[insorrow]

"Really?"

Ken blinked. He - well, he wasn't offended or anything. Not a bit of it. Just... perhaps, a little surprised. He didn't think he'd exactly been very discreet about this one, but then again he almost never was. He'd never been very good at keeping his opinions (or his feelings, for that matter: that was probably more important, right?) to himself. Aya really hadn't expected-- what, really? And there he thought it had most likely been embarrassingly obvious to everybody...

Apparently, not, Ken thought. Well, huh. Then: Okay, Hidaka, say something. She'll probably thinks you're mad or upset or... or something stupid like that-- he was still half-expecting Aya to want to slap him, wasn't he? The last thing he wanted was to give her any more reasons to think that was a good idea.

"I mean," he managed, "it's not bad or anything that you weren't! I just... I kinda thought it'd been really damn obvious or... or something. I don't mind. Really

[stillneedsakiss]

Aya shrugged a little, suddenly feeling rather stupid. Should she blame it on a blind spot? It was always easier to recognize odd behavior from an outside observer's standpoint. Or maybe Ken was right and she had just missed it that badly.

She picked up the giraffe and gazed at it until fond humor had overridden the self-consciousness. After that wombat and crocodile, it seemed such a very Ken gift: cute and quirky but completely lovable.

"I do want it. Thank you, Ken. It's going right by the wombat on my shelf." And though it felt a little weird to do so, she leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"I'm ridiculously fond of these exotic animal plushes, you know. They're adorable."

And somewhere deep down, she wondered if part of her love for them wasn't a product of who had given them to her.

[insorrow]

... what.

If Ken had been holding anything, he would have dropped it.

She'd kissed him. She had kissed him. On the cheek, admittedly, but... dammit, Aya Fujimiya - the real one, that was - really had just kissed him. For a moment all Ken could do was stare at her in complete bewilderment then, Tentatively, he reached up to touch his own cheek. He'd felt that, and yet he could still only half-believe (never mind that he'd felt it: he had felt that, right?) that Aya had actually just done it. That she would have wanted to do that--

(And, just for a moment, he felt deja vu-- but he wasn't thinking of her. Not any more.)

He was blushing and he didn't care. Ken grinned clear through it, a lopsided, clumsy and yet only totally genuine thing, and heard himself laugh briefly and he was really supposed to be saying something about now, wasn't he? If someone-- she'd kissed him. The least he could do was let he know he'd liked it.

"I'm glad," he managed, and though he had no idea what he was glad of, he meant it. "Thanks."

For everything.

[stillneedsakiss]

There was something entirely too endearing about the way Ken looked at her and touched his cheek. Aya found a weak little laugh of her own escaping with Ken's-- not at Ken, but out of a mutual sense of bewilderment and slight awkwardness. She felt quite uncertain what to do with herself. She held the giraffe plush close to her, kept her eyes on it because it was easier than looking at Ken, kept her voice low because it just seemed the thing to do.

"This is a bit overwhelming... Can I have a little time to think this out? I... It's not that-- I just. I don't know what I feel right now..."

It hurt a little to be honest, but she felt, as open and direct as Ken had always been to her, she owed him nothing less.

"No matter what, I'd like us to still be friends. You're really important to me."

[insorrow]

"It's fine!"

Honestly, what else had Ken been expecting from her? Because it sure as Hell hadn't been that Aya would just... just kind of jump on him the minute he spilled it just because he - well, just because he might have kind of liked it if she did. That kind of thing didn't happen anywhere this side of stupid-ass fantasies, not to guys like Ken anyway. Not that there was anything the matter with dreaming, but wasn't it better to admit to complication for the sake of a shot at the actual?

So it's fine, Ken said, and smiled, and meant it. He hadn't hoped for anything more from Aya, even if a part of him had been enough of a dreamy, unrealistic kid to wish that, just maybe, things really could have been that simple.

"I don't mind if it takes a while."

Didn't really mind if at the end of it, she still just wanted to be friends. It was better to be Aya's friend than nothing at all, and a chance at something more was still better than he'd thought he'd had this morning