A night in istanbul
So far its been a month since the beginning of my program in Istanbul. Its odd, ive been hanging out with people who i would normally not be friends with in college.
I dont know what happened to my writing skills. I cant write LJ posts as i use to, tonight was an adventures but i am being way too self concious now even what i write. I dont know why, i just delete setences over and over again when i ever try to express daily happenings or awesome nights. So, i resort to just typing without any inhibitions about what i am feeling rather then forming coherent thoughts which other readers can follow.
I guess i've changed a lot then. Not in a good way, im always anxious and nervous even in social conversations with good friends. Ill try and force myself out of this phase/
Before tonight, i didnt smoke pot for a month. I thought my problems with anxiety came from the excessive smoking, but unfortunatly it didnt. I am the same as i was during the school year, except usually sober.
So, people from my istanbul program and I tried to attend a huge soccer match between Fenerbache, a turkish team, and some other team from Europe. We get there, and spend a 15 minutes asking people where we can buy tickets. We finnaly found people in our same situation, but they were running through streets and highways froggle style in a frenzy to get to the place selling tickets. We joined them, with me leading the way because no one in the group speaks Turkish but me. Im rather bad at initiating things, but here i am forced to because no one else speaks the language. The tickets are sold out, so we instead end up going to a bar (something that should be legal in America for my age, but isnt) drink a little and play Jenga.
We leave, rushing to catch the boat back to the european side of town. What i love about istanbul the most are the public transportation boats. I should take a picture of them, they have a lot of character. We are literally the last persons to get on the boat before its departure. Its filled with crazy fenerbache friends, who are banging on drums and passionatly singing their team anthem. Then, my program friends notice that there is a guy right beside me smoking a joint. At first i didnt believe it, we were on a public boat crammed with 300 people. The guy was smoking in the most concspicious place everywhere, not the least bit paranoid. He saw me and i friend oggling at the joint, we were staring at him more at awe then having a desire to smoke. He laughed and passed the joint and starts talking really fast accented Turkish. Everyone on the boat is now looking at us. We take rounds of hits while passing the beautiful view of the Bosphorous. He starts telling me his life history, his parents died in the Istanbul Earthquake 3 years ago and since then, up till a year a go, was heavily hooked on hard drugs due to his deep depression. I nodd at everything he says, and only make minor comments to his stories. Wish i said more, i almost never talk comfortably with strangers i just met. Everyone on the boat is interested and amused at our conversation, and tell him to smoke us out more. Took two hits, but because of my month long break the effect was nice and chill.
Came back, talked politics with Turks in the dorm about how America has sowed the seeds for world war III. Its weird how i have American citizenship, and first before anything consider myself an American, but yet disagree with every decision of the american government which I elect.
Goodnight everyone. Its 3am here. I miss Miami life, but i should focus only on the present. If war doesnt come here, ill be back soon.
I dont know what happened to my writing skills. I cant write LJ posts as i use to, tonight was an adventures but i am being way too self concious now even what i write. I dont know why, i just delete setences over and over again when i ever try to express daily happenings or awesome nights. So, i resort to just typing without any inhibitions about what i am feeling rather then forming coherent thoughts which other readers can follow.
I guess i've changed a lot then. Not in a good way, im always anxious and nervous even in social conversations with good friends. Ill try and force myself out of this phase/
Before tonight, i didnt smoke pot for a month. I thought my problems with anxiety came from the excessive smoking, but unfortunatly it didnt. I am the same as i was during the school year, except usually sober.
So, people from my istanbul program and I tried to attend a huge soccer match between Fenerbache, a turkish team, and some other team from Europe. We get there, and spend a 15 minutes asking people where we can buy tickets. We finnaly found people in our same situation, but they were running through streets and highways froggle style in a frenzy to get to the place selling tickets. We joined them, with me leading the way because no one in the group speaks Turkish but me. Im rather bad at initiating things, but here i am forced to because no one else speaks the language. The tickets are sold out, so we instead end up going to a bar (something that should be legal in America for my age, but isnt) drink a little and play Jenga.
We leave, rushing to catch the boat back to the european side of town. What i love about istanbul the most are the public transportation boats. I should take a picture of them, they have a lot of character. We are literally the last persons to get on the boat before its departure. Its filled with crazy fenerbache friends, who are banging on drums and passionatly singing their team anthem. Then, my program friends notice that there is a guy right beside me smoking a joint. At first i didnt believe it, we were on a public boat crammed with 300 people. The guy was smoking in the most concspicious place everywhere, not the least bit paranoid. He saw me and i friend oggling at the joint, we were staring at him more at awe then having a desire to smoke. He laughed and passed the joint and starts talking really fast accented Turkish. Everyone on the boat is now looking at us. We take rounds of hits while passing the beautiful view of the Bosphorous. He starts telling me his life history, his parents died in the Istanbul Earthquake 3 years ago and since then, up till a year a go, was heavily hooked on hard drugs due to his deep depression. I nodd at everything he says, and only make minor comments to his stories. Wish i said more, i almost never talk comfortably with strangers i just met. Everyone on the boat is interested and amused at our conversation, and tell him to smoke us out more. Took two hits, but because of my month long break the effect was nice and chill.
Came back, talked politics with Turks in the dorm about how America has sowed the seeds for world war III. Its weird how i have American citizenship, and first before anything consider myself an American, but yet disagree with every decision of the american government which I elect.
Goodnight everyone. Its 3am here. I miss Miami life, but i should focus only on the present. If war doesnt come here, ill be back soon.