"true love waits in haunted attics, and true love lives on lollipops and crisps"
Today is Dan and Kerene's technical anniversary. Today, Kerene was sworn in as an attorney. Today, Reino left for New Orleans with Ray.
On the first: yeay! On the second: yeay!
On the latter, I am feeling a cocktail of emotions. He came over last night to say good bye and hang out one last time. He brought sleeping pills so he could stay with me until I fell asleep, because he said he couldn't handle seeing me sad about everything again or he would have cracked. I asked him if he planned to kill me if the sleeping pills didn't work. He didn't give me a straight answer. Lol.
"Just don't leave."
It turns out, unsurprisingly, that he is now in a committed relationship with Ray, but feels he may be making a big mistake. I would feel compelled to say: "you bet your life you are!" in all Tori Amos fashion, but there is a practical part of me that realizes that they are likely better for each other, considering her lack of security necessitates behavioral compensation of the undeserved-measures-of-care-taking kind -and- he needs a mommy. But isn't that the template for every realationship to some degree? Maybe I'm just cold and bitter. All the same, I do want him to be happy. Even if he's caused me a lot of pain out of his own denseness, I still love him and care about him and hope it all turns out sunny side up in the end.
I've been on a comfort food kick pretty much all day. I need to find a new coping mechanism. :(
Turning a new leaf. -Cindi
On the first: yeay! On the second: yeay!
On the latter, I am feeling a cocktail of emotions. He came over last night to say good bye and hang out one last time. He brought sleeping pills so he could stay with me until I fell asleep, because he said he couldn't handle seeing me sad about everything again or he would have cracked. I asked him if he planned to kill me if the sleeping pills didn't work. He didn't give me a straight answer. Lol.
"Just don't leave."
It turns out, unsurprisingly, that he is now in a committed relationship with Ray, but feels he may be making a big mistake. I would feel compelled to say: "you bet your life you are!" in all Tori Amos fashion, but there is a practical part of me that realizes that they are likely better for each other, considering her lack of security necessitates behavioral compensation of the undeserved-measures-of-care-taking kind -and- he needs a mommy. But isn't that the template for every realationship to some degree? Maybe I'm just cold and bitter. All the same, I do want him to be happy. Even if he's caused me a lot of pain out of his own denseness, I still love him and care about him and hope it all turns out sunny side up in the end.
I've been on a comfort food kick pretty much all day. I need to find a new coping mechanism. :(
Turning a new leaf. -Cindi