Taking a break...
A friend. A true friend. Gave me some advice today. It was hard to hear, but it made sense, and I know I have to do it.
For a time, at least, I need to stop writing. I need to stop TRYING to write. I need to get my head on straight, find a new job, work on my therapy and managing my ADD. I need to study the people around me and write down my ideas, but I need to manage all my stress, and a significant part of my stress is the writing itself.
I need to just.... stop. I think of my writing and I feel hopeless and without meaning. I feel like I'll never finish something, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, because I can't stop thinking of that. I have all these ideas bursting in my brain. I have characters, concepts, all that... but it wil do me no good if I'm so stressed that I can't write, and that INABILITY to write causes more stress. I've talked about removing significant stressors so I can manage my life and actually do what I want. And yet... pinning my hopes on my writing has made it one of the most significant sources of stress in my life.
Get my head on straight. Manage my ADD. Get myself healthy. Work on my relationships. Write down my ideas, sure, but just write them down when I think of them. Come back to those ideas when things are better for me emotionally and mentally.
I have one commission to do left. I'll do that commission and then I'm done, till at least September. IF I write at all, it will be when the inspiration strikes, and with no goal in it but putting down my ideas to paper. No plans, no potential, no 'this is THE ONE'.
For a time, at least, I need to stop writing. I need to stop TRYING to write. I need to get my head on straight, find a new job, work on my therapy and managing my ADD. I need to study the people around me and write down my ideas, but I need to manage all my stress, and a significant part of my stress is the writing itself.
I need to just.... stop. I think of my writing and I feel hopeless and without meaning. I feel like I'll never finish something, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, because I can't stop thinking of that. I have all these ideas bursting in my brain. I have characters, concepts, all that... but it wil do me no good if I'm so stressed that I can't write, and that INABILITY to write causes more stress. I've talked about removing significant stressors so I can manage my life and actually do what I want. And yet... pinning my hopes on my writing has made it one of the most significant sources of stress in my life.
Get my head on straight. Manage my ADD. Get myself healthy. Work on my relationships. Write down my ideas, sure, but just write them down when I think of them. Come back to those ideas when things are better for me emotionally and mentally.
I have one commission to do left. I'll do that commission and then I'm done, till at least September. IF I write at all, it will be when the inspiration strikes, and with no goal in it but putting down my ideas to paper. No plans, no potential, no 'this is THE ONE'.