"Didn't black people invent Lindy Hop? --Yes, and I think they're awesome for that!"
So, coolest news of the week? There shall be a Dixie Land Jazz Band playing in my complex every Friday night for the month of September. It's like a perfectly tailored, month-long birthday present to me. Tonight was their first appearance. Me, Link, Hair Goddess, and Lil' Brudder all came and listened and danced (as well as Brumner and his lady towards the end). It was really fun. There were a bunch of people just sitting there staring when we started dancing. Heh. The first dance they got was Lil' Brudder and I bluesing to "St. James' Infirmary". Cracked me up. They played for two hours and we danced for most of them. It was sort of fun, actually, because there wasn't a lot of room so you could really only have one couple dancing at a time so it was like each song was a mini show-case. I think my very best dance was when Link asked me on a super slow song (slow, but not quite blues...just super slow super sassy lindy). It was great because I could take my time and not only catch all his crazy leads, but figure out fun things to do with them. Normally, this sort of thing would really embarrass me, but when Link led me into a string of swivels I just went for it and didn't get all self-conscious when I actually got a little bit of a reaction. Yeah, normally that sort of thing really freaks me out. But it was super fun. And then, after the band was finished this woman came down. She'd been standing up on the sidewalk watching the whole time, and dancing with her little infant boy. Anyway, she came down and was sort of asking about how we all had learned to dance, and she caught my eye and got all excited and said something like "Oh my gosh! I LOVED watching you dance...oh...that one slow song you danced. I don't know what you were doing, but I fell in LOVE with it! And I just really enjoy your style." Wow, what a great compliment! Made me feel all warm and fuzzy.
After the jazz concert everyone trekked up to my apartment to watch youtube videos of dancing. This part was nice, except that I'd had soothing fantasies of my Friday evening all day. There was going to be homework, and nice music, and maybe, after the homework, a movie? It was going to be very quiet and restful and all-around just what I wanted. Which is not to say that I didn't really enjoy having everyone over. But it was a little more taxing than I was really up to. I finally kicked Link and the Hair Goddess out at 10 because I knew if I didn't then they were going to stay all night. And to be honest, I should be in bed right now, rather than writing this. Oh well.
So, guess who called me again? Yes, it has been a couple months, so it was right on schedule. You guess it, DBFB Juan! Our conversation was pretty typical. He told me about the awkward non-date of his evening with a girl who was "a LOT older than me...well, just a year. What I mean is that she is a lot more desperate than me." It made him feel better about himself, because he knows that he's not like her. Oh Juan. What was weird was, toward the end of the conversation he almost seemed, for a second, as though he was trying to get all romantic with me. Which would be exceedingly odd. See, he's now moved up to Idaho and I guess he was driving back from somewhere and he was talking to me as he drove. But he eventually got home I guess because all of a sudden he starts talking to me about the stars. And he says "Let's see what we can find. Should we try to find the North Star? Do you think that is a good idea?" I'm sitting there thinking "Uh...remember how your in another state than me? Why are 'we' doing anything?" but I just say "sure, that sounds like a fantastic idea". Now, the thins is, you have to know Juan. Anyone else, that wouldn't have been anything. But with Juan, I can just see him imagining that that was this tender bonding moment. Heh...it made me laugh a little. I guess he's had this friend for years with whom he's been super close and when he came through Utah a couple weeks ago they tried not just being friends. According to him it just didn't work. And, having discovered that, he decided that their relationship really needed to change, and he told her so. So here he is explaining to me how Harry was right all along and its just so incongruous. Because, if I'm not completely crazy, I think you would call our relationship a friendship. Or, as he put it "I really think I want to move back to Provo. I miss all my peeps. Well...'all my peeps' is really just...you...and my buddy Kevin." Oh geez.
So, in the less positive news...I dropped my russian class. I had to do it. If I had kept it I guarantee you there would have been serious mental breakdownage. As it was, when I walked out of that class on Thursday I was near to tears. Oh, but let's tell you a cute story about this. See, yesterday was sort of a half and half day...neither purely happy nor purely unhappy. Sort of bouncing between the two. But then, from about 5 o'clock on it just went down hill. I was severely upset about the whole russian thing. But I am lucky because I have many wonderful people in my life who help me to feel better. Exhibit A: as I was walking home after my class, who should I see walking toward me, but Really Tall Guy. Now, you may recall that there is a sort of awkwardness between Really Tall Guy and myself ever since I suspected that he might maybe kinda sorta have wanted to date me for a little while. I have no evidence, just conjecture and some circumstantial implications. The point is, though I thing RTG is nice, I've always felt a little uncomfortable around him. But seeing him, just purely as a familiar friendly face, was really nice. We stopped and chatted for about half an hour and I told him about dropping my class. RTG served a Russian speaking mission and so we have this language connection. He was sad I was dropping it, but heartened when I told him I wasn't giving up, just preparing better. He told me that one of the best ways to build vocabulary when he was in school (though rather frowned upon by the faculty) was Harry Potter in russian. This struck me as a magnificent idea, and I told him so. I told him I'd have to look into it. We parted then, and I went home to ask The Fella if he wanted to get food. Well, I texted him as I was walking. About 20 minutes after I get home he pops up on gmail "Actually, I just ate." Shoot. But there he is, so I tell him about how I just dropped a class. "Nice work" is his reply. Hm. I tell him I've never had to drop a class before because I simply couldn't do it. He was really nice about it. He told me he'd been in the same position before. When I asked him if he'd felt a feeling of slight self-loathing he said "Naw, but my failure to perform had more to do with external factors than inability on my part...like everyone else in the class speaking the language for two freakin years for example" and when I argued that I'd studied it for two years myself he said "two years of course work is totally different from living in the country--teaching for heaven's sake" It actually made me feel a bit better. What made me feel a lot more better was that when I said "You're probably right. But let's talk about something else. Like how Orchid and I want to have a movie night at your place." he said "that could be fun" and we tentatively planned on it for next weekend. Not this weekend because he has gotten his first ever consultation gig through his business (!) They're paying him $750 to do something technical and have it done over the weekend. Nice! So, pending approval from Ducky and the new roommate, we have dibs on him and his house for next Saturday. I'm excited.
However, this did not abate my malaise of last night. So when I got to blues I was just blah. It was the class thing and the time of the month thing and just a general lowness of spirits. The only reason I went was because I'd promised Orchid we were gonna rock the cheesy fries at Denny's come hell or high water. But then when I got there Thor was there. Oh Thor. How soothing is your presence to me. And how comforting are your hugs. And there was Orchid asking me if I was ok and saying she was worried about me. And best of all, there was Really Tall Guy. Right when I got there he came over to me and sat down next to me on the couch. "I have a challenge for you" he says and he pulls out this BYU bookstore bag. The man bought me a Russian Harry Potter! It was just such a thoughtful thing to do. Then he danced with me and we had a very nice dance. So, I know that I'll probably return to my Really Tall Guy awkwardness, but just for Thursday he was the most considerate friend ever.
The one thing that was sort of conflicting, however, was Dmitri. I asked him earlier in the week if he was planning on coming to blues and we'd been texting back and forth sporadically discussing people he could get a ride with. Incidentally, this has led to the heinously annoying fact that of the last 5 days, 4 I think have begun 15 minutes prematurely with a text from him just before I'm supposed to be waking up. It has prompted some irate anger, but I'm trying to suppress it. Anyway, I thought he had a ride when I texted him earlier in the day. He didn't seem worried about it and he asked me how my day was. I told him I'd let him know when it was over, because up till then it was split pretty even. It just sounded as though I was going to see him when he came to blues that night. But when I got there I didn't see him. Turns out he got there a little later. Now, ever since he told me he had no intentions with me and I realized that I really dislike over the top flirting without intent I have tried to enforce some boundaries with Dmitri. When he came a week or two ago and came and gave me a hug from behind I tried to make it clear that I wasn't comfortable with that sort of thing. And when he texted me late that night asking what he could do to reduce creepiness in his dancing, after some explanation and clarification I told him that the best way he could convince girls he was worth dating (not just hanging out with) was to cut back on the flirting with every girl. I told him it's like he keeps a harem. I have really disliked feeling like he considers me part of that harem. But I think he has backed off a little. A very little. But then there was last night. He seemed to be going out of his way to try and ingratiate himself with me (there were a few dropped comments that reaffirmed this). That's not quite the right word. Basically, he was back to the old Dmitri waaay back--flirting with me in a very pointed sort of way. But I'm ashamed to say...it just made me feel better so I didn't nip him in the bud. I just went with it. Like...it was such old Dmitri that we even had one of those dances like ones we used to have that originally made me consider him to begin with. And as we're dancing and he's holding me in a very close close-embrace I stopped keeping myself separate like I've been doing with him recently, and I enjoyed how well we can connect. How I feel so physically comfortable around him. And I enjoyed how when I finally let loose and laughed at one of his goofy jokes he lit up and said "It's been a long time since I've seen that smile. I've missed it." and then later, when I called him a dork he said "it doesn't matter, it made you laugh. And I really want you to laugh tonight." It was nice to feel fussed over a little bit. And it was really what I needed last night. But then after I felt a little teeny discontent in the form of my awareness of how I've undone all my work creating those boundaries and I'll have to start all over again.
Anyway, it is now midnight and I seriously have to go to bed. I think I may die tomorrow at work. But oh well. I can come home after and sleep! Hooray!
After the jazz concert everyone trekked up to my apartment to watch youtube videos of dancing. This part was nice, except that I'd had soothing fantasies of my Friday evening all day. There was going to be homework, and nice music, and maybe, after the homework, a movie? It was going to be very quiet and restful and all-around just what I wanted. Which is not to say that I didn't really enjoy having everyone over. But it was a little more taxing than I was really up to. I finally kicked Link and the Hair Goddess out at 10 because I knew if I didn't then they were going to stay all night. And to be honest, I should be in bed right now, rather than writing this. Oh well.
So, guess who called me again? Yes, it has been a couple months, so it was right on schedule. You guess it, DBFB Juan! Our conversation was pretty typical. He told me about the awkward non-date of his evening with a girl who was "a LOT older than me...well, just a year. What I mean is that she is a lot more desperate than me." It made him feel better about himself, because he knows that he's not like her. Oh Juan. What was weird was, toward the end of the conversation he almost seemed, for a second, as though he was trying to get all romantic with me. Which would be exceedingly odd. See, he's now moved up to Idaho and I guess he was driving back from somewhere and he was talking to me as he drove. But he eventually got home I guess because all of a sudden he starts talking to me about the stars. And he says "Let's see what we can find. Should we try to find the North Star? Do you think that is a good idea?" I'm sitting there thinking "Uh...remember how your in another state than me? Why are 'we' doing anything?" but I just say "sure, that sounds like a fantastic idea". Now, the thins is, you have to know Juan. Anyone else, that wouldn't have been anything. But with Juan, I can just see him imagining that that was this tender bonding moment. Heh...it made me laugh a little. I guess he's had this friend for years with whom he's been super close and when he came through Utah a couple weeks ago they tried not just being friends. According to him it just didn't work. And, having discovered that, he decided that their relationship really needed to change, and he told her so. So here he is explaining to me how Harry was right all along and its just so incongruous. Because, if I'm not completely crazy, I think you would call our relationship a friendship. Or, as he put it "I really think I want to move back to Provo. I miss all my peeps. Well...'all my peeps' is really just...you...and my buddy Kevin." Oh geez.
So, in the less positive news...I dropped my russian class. I had to do it. If I had kept it I guarantee you there would have been serious mental breakdownage. As it was, when I walked out of that class on Thursday I was near to tears. Oh, but let's tell you a cute story about this. See, yesterday was sort of a half and half day...neither purely happy nor purely unhappy. Sort of bouncing between the two. But then, from about 5 o'clock on it just went down hill. I was severely upset about the whole russian thing. But I am lucky because I have many wonderful people in my life who help me to feel better. Exhibit A: as I was walking home after my class, who should I see walking toward me, but Really Tall Guy. Now, you may recall that there is a sort of awkwardness between Really Tall Guy and myself ever since I suspected that he might maybe kinda sorta have wanted to date me for a little while. I have no evidence, just conjecture and some circumstantial implications. The point is, though I thing RTG is nice, I've always felt a little uncomfortable around him. But seeing him, just purely as a familiar friendly face, was really nice. We stopped and chatted for about half an hour and I told him about dropping my class. RTG served a Russian speaking mission and so we have this language connection. He was sad I was dropping it, but heartened when I told him I wasn't giving up, just preparing better. He told me that one of the best ways to build vocabulary when he was in school (though rather frowned upon by the faculty) was Harry Potter in russian. This struck me as a magnificent idea, and I told him so. I told him I'd have to look into it. We parted then, and I went home to ask The Fella if he wanted to get food. Well, I texted him as I was walking. About 20 minutes after I get home he pops up on gmail "Actually, I just ate." Shoot. But there he is, so I tell him about how I just dropped a class. "Nice work" is his reply. Hm. I tell him I've never had to drop a class before because I simply couldn't do it. He was really nice about it. He told me he'd been in the same position before. When I asked him if he'd felt a feeling of slight self-loathing he said "Naw, but my failure to perform had more to do with external factors than inability on my part...like everyone else in the class speaking the language for two freakin years for example" and when I argued that I'd studied it for two years myself he said "two years of course work is totally different from living in the country--teaching for heaven's sake" It actually made me feel a bit better. What made me feel a lot more better was that when I said "You're probably right. But let's talk about something else. Like how Orchid and I want to have a movie night at your place." he said "that could be fun" and we tentatively planned on it for next weekend. Not this weekend because he has gotten his first ever consultation gig through his business (!) They're paying him $750 to do something technical and have it done over the weekend. Nice! So, pending approval from Ducky and the new roommate, we have dibs on him and his house for next Saturday. I'm excited.
However, this did not abate my malaise of last night. So when I got to blues I was just blah. It was the class thing and the time of the month thing and just a general lowness of spirits. The only reason I went was because I'd promised Orchid we were gonna rock the cheesy fries at Denny's come hell or high water. But then when I got there Thor was there. Oh Thor. How soothing is your presence to me. And how comforting are your hugs. And there was Orchid asking me if I was ok and saying she was worried about me. And best of all, there was Really Tall Guy. Right when I got there he came over to me and sat down next to me on the couch. "I have a challenge for you" he says and he pulls out this BYU bookstore bag. The man bought me a Russian Harry Potter! It was just such a thoughtful thing to do. Then he danced with me and we had a very nice dance. So, I know that I'll probably return to my Really Tall Guy awkwardness, but just for Thursday he was the most considerate friend ever.
The one thing that was sort of conflicting, however, was Dmitri. I asked him earlier in the week if he was planning on coming to blues and we'd been texting back and forth sporadically discussing people he could get a ride with. Incidentally, this has led to the heinously annoying fact that of the last 5 days, 4 I think have begun 15 minutes prematurely with a text from him just before I'm supposed to be waking up. It has prompted some irate anger, but I'm trying to suppress it. Anyway, I thought he had a ride when I texted him earlier in the day. He didn't seem worried about it and he asked me how my day was. I told him I'd let him know when it was over, because up till then it was split pretty even. It just sounded as though I was going to see him when he came to blues that night. But when I got there I didn't see him. Turns out he got there a little later. Now, ever since he told me he had no intentions with me and I realized that I really dislike over the top flirting without intent I have tried to enforce some boundaries with Dmitri. When he came a week or two ago and came and gave me a hug from behind I tried to make it clear that I wasn't comfortable with that sort of thing. And when he texted me late that night asking what he could do to reduce creepiness in his dancing, after some explanation and clarification I told him that the best way he could convince girls he was worth dating (not just hanging out with) was to cut back on the flirting with every girl. I told him it's like he keeps a harem. I have really disliked feeling like he considers me part of that harem. But I think he has backed off a little. A very little. But then there was last night. He seemed to be going out of his way to try and ingratiate himself with me (there were a few dropped comments that reaffirmed this). That's not quite the right word. Basically, he was back to the old Dmitri waaay back--flirting with me in a very pointed sort of way. But I'm ashamed to say...it just made me feel better so I didn't nip him in the bud. I just went with it. Like...it was such old Dmitri that we even had one of those dances like ones we used to have that originally made me consider him to begin with. And as we're dancing and he's holding me in a very close close-embrace I stopped keeping myself separate like I've been doing with him recently, and I enjoyed how well we can connect. How I feel so physically comfortable around him. And I enjoyed how when I finally let loose and laughed at one of his goofy jokes he lit up and said "It's been a long time since I've seen that smile. I've missed it." and then later, when I called him a dork he said "it doesn't matter, it made you laugh. And I really want you to laugh tonight." It was nice to feel fussed over a little bit. And it was really what I needed last night. But then after I felt a little teeny discontent in the form of my awareness of how I've undone all my work creating those boundaries and I'll have to start all over again.
Anyway, it is now midnight and I seriously have to go to bed. I think I may die tomorrow at work. But oh well. I can come home after and sleep! Hooray!