"I wish I was interested in it..."
Do you know that feeling of contentment you get when you know you've spent your time well and all is right with the world? I have that feeling right now. Granted, this is a feeling that lately seems to come and go with lightening rapidity. But whatever. It's here for now, and I'm going to enjoy it.
Yesterday was quite the day. I got a text from my uncle on Wednesday asking if I'd like to go get lunch. Turns out he's here in Utah. Unfortunately that day I was at work till 6. However, Wednesday was my last day of work for a week, so I told him I could see him yesterday. This turned out to be a bit of a mistake because he ended up proposing an entire DAY with him. As in, meet for breakfast at 9, go antiquing, lunch at 1, more antiquing (it is the joy of his life) and then dinner at 6. yeah. Allllll day. And here's the thing. This was my uncle on my dad's side of the family, which side I do not know very well at all. Not just that, this particular uncle has historically annoyed the heck out of me on those few occasions when I've spoken to him. So all night Wednesday I was dreading what was coming. In the end, of course, it didn't end up being nearly as bad as I thought it would.
Kandi actually needed me to drive her to the DMV so that she could get a new ID, which gave me an excuse to ditch on breakfast at least with the Uncle (and sleep in...there have been bad developments on the sleeping schedule front) So I finally headed off to Salt Lake around 12:30. I got there and it turns out my aunt was there as well. And guess what? Once you get old enough to not be an idiot you might just end up getting along with the family you used to think was more annoying than small children cracked out on sugar. Ok, don't get too excited. I did still find them both to be...um...well, white trash to be completely honest. But its funny, they're like super smart white trash. I mentioned something about being a comparative literature major and Liz says "Oh yeah, cause what this family needs is another BOOK person!" In fact, it was sort of really odd. We went to get food and I was standing between Liz and Chris and at one point I look at Chris and he's staring at me very intently and I look over at Liz and she's giving me the exact same look. And they both start discussing who I look like. I've always been told that I'm the spitting image of my aunt Shannon, my mom's sister, so suddenly to be told that I look like all of these other people from this other side of my family was very disconcerting. But like I said. I found that I...understood them this time around. They really are my family, even if I hope with all my heart that I don't end up like them. Hands down, the most awkward moment of that part of the day was when Chris, after hearing me refer to my dancing quite a few times says "Hey! I wanna see how you dance" and he--all six feet, five inches, and 275 pounds of him--grabs me in the middle of the restaurant, pulls me into close embrace position, and starts dancing with me. Yes, I was more comfortable with him that I've ever been before, but we had certainly not arrived at the point where I was ok with a man I've not seen more than 5 times in my entire life (that I remember at least) grabbing me into close embrace. Yeah. I just tried to not make it awkward...
Anyway. So, this was yesterday, Thursday. Dmitri had asked me the night before if I knew anyone coming down from Salt Lake with whom he could catch a ride to blues. So when I found out I was going to be going up there myself I told him I could drive him down. So about 4 o'clock I told Chris and Liz that I had to go and get him (thus saving me from that whole day affair they'd been aiming at). Chris suggested that we all go and get him since I wasn't really sure how to find his place. This was great, except it meant that Dmitri got to squish into a car full of random people he'd never met before. It was sort of funny. I could see his face in the rear-view mirror and he was cracking up at some of the stuff Chris was saying. Anyway, we got back to Liz's house and Dmitri and I took off for Provo. Well, I guess I should give a little past due background here on me and Dmitri. So, pretty much Dmitri has been flirting with me like crazy whenever he comes down to blues. I mean...like crazy. He'll grab me and hug me or tickle me or just poke me, whatever. Lots of touchy flirting. And as always, we dance really well together. But that's all. Despite several very open invitations he has never gone on to ask me on a date or do anything more corporeal than the flirting. This has been irritating me more and more the longer it's gone on. You all know, I dislike ambiguity and I don't like not knowing what is going on. The funny thing is I never did figure out if I did actually want to date him. I just wanted to know if I had to, you know? So finally on Monday or Tuesday I think I was talking to Annie on gmail and Dmitri on facebook. I was telling him about how I'm poor so I didn't think I was going to be hitting up blues for the rest of the summer. He told me that I'm one of the few people he comes to Provo for, so if I'm not there there is really no reason for him to come down. Stuff like this. So I'm talking to Annie and we're commiserating over how annoying this situation is and I ask her if I should just ask him what's up. She says YES (because Annie is cool like that and also knows me pretty well). So I did. I basically said "I'm not sure what signals you're giving me. Can you tell me if we're just flirty friends? It's fine, I just want to know" And he said "flirty friends" Literally. That was all he said. This was when I discovered that I really dislike intentionless flirting, but that is another blog post. The point is, I asked and was told that we're just friends. Which really is fine. So yeah, that was Monday or Tuesday, and then yesterday I gave him a ride down to Provo.
The drive down was fun. He taught me the driving game that his family would always play, which consists of looking for any possible significant arrangement of letters on a license plate and hitting the other people in the car when you see them. I am good at this game. I drilled him in the leg real good a few times. To the point that every time I moved my hand he flinched. Hehe. Anyway, we got to Provo and went over to my brother's place to look at his pictures. Then we came back to my apartment (it was about 6) and I wanted to watch Northanger Abbey, but instead we got distracted and watched dancing videos for nearly two hours. All that time sitting on the couch though let my exceeding tiredness catch up with me and I asked him if I'd be a bad host for taking a small nap. We both ended up conking out on the couch for about 20 or 30 minutes (though he claims that he was actually meditating) and then it was off to blues dancing...after a quick detour to Orem to pick up Sven.
So blues dancing. Yeah, I've decided that I'm not going to really go for the rest of the summer. I mean, I'll probably show up here and there, but as a whole, its a no go. There are various reasons for this, the one I'm telling most people is money. I'm so very very broke. So I've decided that I'm not allowed to spend any more money the rest of the summer unless it is absolutely vital to my life. This isn't the only reason I have, but it is the least offensive and most understandable one I can share with people. The other reasons have to do mostly just with my own personal frustration with some of the things that go on with the way Blue Tango is run. I don't know. I don't really want to get into it right now. But the point is, after Denim begged me, I agreed that I'd go this last week. I was really really hoping that I could have a good night to go out on and....I really really did. Funnily enough, it seems that most everyone else had rather bad nights. But I was on. I danced with Dmitri right when we got in (turns out there's something about physically coming to the dance with a guy that just makes him dance with you more often...Dmitri asked me some three or four times) and unlike usual, I connected right away without that obligatory opening dance of awkward I usually have. So we had a good dance. And then I got to dance the rest of the night with all the people I wanted to dance with, several times all of them. I had a couple really good dances with Sven. Our first dance, about half way through, he gave me this odd look and I was like "What?" "Oh nothing...you're just really good" Awwwwww. I had a rather short dance with Sancho and unfortunately, he was the only person I wanted to dance with a second time that I never got to. I danced with Robert Sean Leonard and Mad Dog (first dance with him was meh, second was freakin awesome). I also danced with Captain Intense a couple of times. He asked Gloria and I if he was intimidating to dance with and we were pointing out how picky he was about who he dances with, using ourselves as examples of how he never dances with us. He was like "Whatever" and so he asked me to dance the next song. And then I asked him again right at the end. He really is a fantastic lead. I'm glad I got to dance with him. And then I had my dances with Dmitri. They were all really good.
After the dance we all went to Denny's of course. Alas, I still had to take Dmitri home, so I didn't stay the whole time. But it was fun. Then drive to Salt Lake, sing along to some great music, and drive home. Fall into bed about 4. What did I tell you about the very damaged sleeping schedule?
So that was yesterday. Today was just...so wonderfully relaxing. Finally I was able to sleep for as long as I wanted. See, I've been going to bed between 3 and four every night for the last week, but I never get to sleep in the next morning. I've had work, or driving friends to the DMV or whatever. So this morning, when I was finally able to sleep....oh my! It was glorious! I slept without interruption until 12:30, which on the one hand horrifies me, but on the other just felt sooo good! I got up, jumped in the shower, and then texted Bunny. She'd asked me to come by this morning, and while it was no longer morning, I did feel I ought to fulfill my promise. As it turned out, I was perfectly timed to take Kandi to work first, so I did that and then headed over to see Bunny. When I got there Sunshine, who lives just below her, was sitting out on the grass. Anyway, I was so late Bunny had to go to work in a little while, but she was glad to see me none the less as she is leaving for a week on vacation. So I chatted with her about her new fella. Then she left and I went downstairs and visited Sunshine, since she was there. Here's the thing about Sunshine. I really really like her, but I never seem to have a good chance to actually get to know her. So it was really really nice to get to talk to her. And we actually had quite the epic visit. I think I was there for an hour and a half. We talked about her getting engaged, and dancing, and my recent obsession with fairy tales. It was really fun. She's taking American Heritage this summer and I told her that if she ever wants a study budy/discussion partner she should absolutely give me a call. As I always do, I really hope we can hang out together again. She's so darn nice. After I finally left her place I decided on a complete whim to head over to the Fella's house. Before I get to the explanation for that decision, I have to say that as I was walking I discovered a cherry tree with actual ripe, non-bird-ravaged fruit on it. Can there possibly be anything more glorious on a summer's day than eating fresh cherries off a random tree? I think not.
Anyway, as I was leaving I was feeling very effervescently happy and I just wanted to talk to the Fella. We haven't really talked in quite a while and I decided that I wanted to. So I walked over and, after a moment of hesitation at the door I knocked. He answered with his hands full of bubble wrap, which he was "popping so that it wouldn't take up so much space in the garbage" Sure, yeah. Or because it's just fun to pop bubble wrap! He very generously shared his bubble wrap with me, so we popped bubbles for a while. We just ended up chatting a little bit about the dance scene here, and his business. He's finally gotten caught up with a bunch of things that have been hanging over him for a long time now so he was feeling very proud of himself. He walked to the door with me and as I was leaving I said something about going to the park. "Are you just walking around, going to parks and visiting people today or something?" he asked me? Absolutely! Can you possibly imagine a better way to spend a summer day? He was sort of looking at me incredulously and said that that sounded like fun. I agreed and headed on my way. I am very glad that I stopped by. He said he might come to the dance tomorrow, though I doubt he'll actually show up. But he might, and that will be nice. And it was just nice to visit him and feel like it wasn't awkward. I really was in an obviously happy mood and I think I had a big silly smile on my face the whole time. But I was just happy. And it made me even more happy that I left without any sort of excess of emotional turbulence. For all intents and purposes, he was just any other friend I'd stopped by to visit. Very good.
After that I stopped by for a few minutes at Sergey's place on my way home. When I got here Unicorn was crashed on the couch watching TV. I've never appreciated before how nice it has been that I have had roommates who don't watch TV. Now that I have Unicorn sporadically taking over the living room I realize that I really don't like actual TV. I can't use the living room when she's in there. So instead I took my banana chair outside and I've been sitting here for the rest of the evening goofing off on the computer. It has been a very very good day. Kandi should be getting home any time now and I think I'm going to get her to watch a movie with me. And then I'm going to try very hard to go bed at a semi rational time. I don't know how well that will work, but I'll try.
I'm sorry this is such a huge post. I just realized that I hadn't updated here in ages aside from the song meme. And I guess things have happened to me. I talked to my mom yesterday and she asked me what was going on in my life and I said nothing, because that's actually how I feel. But if I stop to think about it, there are some things I guess. Oh, I never go to my epic conversation with Spitz! I'm not going to go into it now, but suffice it to say, I love that guy like I love very few other people. He will always hold a special place in my heart. Yeah, anyway, sorry again, and if you've made it through all of this, thanks :)
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What the what?! Missed call from DBFB Juan? Umm...ok...
Yesterday was quite the day. I got a text from my uncle on Wednesday asking if I'd like to go get lunch. Turns out he's here in Utah. Unfortunately that day I was at work till 6. However, Wednesday was my last day of work for a week, so I told him I could see him yesterday. This turned out to be a bit of a mistake because he ended up proposing an entire DAY with him. As in, meet for breakfast at 9, go antiquing, lunch at 1, more antiquing (it is the joy of his life) and then dinner at 6. yeah. Allllll day. And here's the thing. This was my uncle on my dad's side of the family, which side I do not know very well at all. Not just that, this particular uncle has historically annoyed the heck out of me on those few occasions when I've spoken to him. So all night Wednesday I was dreading what was coming. In the end, of course, it didn't end up being nearly as bad as I thought it would.
Kandi actually needed me to drive her to the DMV so that she could get a new ID, which gave me an excuse to ditch on breakfast at least with the Uncle (and sleep in...there have been bad developments on the sleeping schedule front) So I finally headed off to Salt Lake around 12:30. I got there and it turns out my aunt was there as well. And guess what? Once you get old enough to not be an idiot you might just end up getting along with the family you used to think was more annoying than small children cracked out on sugar. Ok, don't get too excited. I did still find them both to be...um...well, white trash to be completely honest. But its funny, they're like super smart white trash. I mentioned something about being a comparative literature major and Liz says "Oh yeah, cause what this family needs is another BOOK person!" In fact, it was sort of really odd. We went to get food and I was standing between Liz and Chris and at one point I look at Chris and he's staring at me very intently and I look over at Liz and she's giving me the exact same look. And they both start discussing who I look like. I've always been told that I'm the spitting image of my aunt Shannon, my mom's sister, so suddenly to be told that I look like all of these other people from this other side of my family was very disconcerting. But like I said. I found that I...understood them this time around. They really are my family, even if I hope with all my heart that I don't end up like them. Hands down, the most awkward moment of that part of the day was when Chris, after hearing me refer to my dancing quite a few times says "Hey! I wanna see how you dance" and he--all six feet, five inches, and 275 pounds of him--grabs me in the middle of the restaurant, pulls me into close embrace position, and starts dancing with me. Yes, I was more comfortable with him that I've ever been before, but we had certainly not arrived at the point where I was ok with a man I've not seen more than 5 times in my entire life (that I remember at least) grabbing me into close embrace. Yeah. I just tried to not make it awkward...
Anyway. So, this was yesterday, Thursday. Dmitri had asked me the night before if I knew anyone coming down from Salt Lake with whom he could catch a ride to blues. So when I found out I was going to be going up there myself I told him I could drive him down. So about 4 o'clock I told Chris and Liz that I had to go and get him (thus saving me from that whole day affair they'd been aiming at). Chris suggested that we all go and get him since I wasn't really sure how to find his place. This was great, except it meant that Dmitri got to squish into a car full of random people he'd never met before. It was sort of funny. I could see his face in the rear-view mirror and he was cracking up at some of the stuff Chris was saying. Anyway, we got back to Liz's house and Dmitri and I took off for Provo. Well, I guess I should give a little past due background here on me and Dmitri. So, pretty much Dmitri has been flirting with me like crazy whenever he comes down to blues. I mean...like crazy. He'll grab me and hug me or tickle me or just poke me, whatever. Lots of touchy flirting. And as always, we dance really well together. But that's all. Despite several very open invitations he has never gone on to ask me on a date or do anything more corporeal than the flirting. This has been irritating me more and more the longer it's gone on. You all know, I dislike ambiguity and I don't like not knowing what is going on. The funny thing is I never did figure out if I did actually want to date him. I just wanted to know if I had to, you know? So finally on Monday or Tuesday I think I was talking to Annie on gmail and Dmitri on facebook. I was telling him about how I'm poor so I didn't think I was going to be hitting up blues for the rest of the summer. He told me that I'm one of the few people he comes to Provo for, so if I'm not there there is really no reason for him to come down. Stuff like this. So I'm talking to Annie and we're commiserating over how annoying this situation is and I ask her if I should just ask him what's up. She says YES (because Annie is cool like that and also knows me pretty well). So I did. I basically said "I'm not sure what signals you're giving me. Can you tell me if we're just flirty friends? It's fine, I just want to know" And he said "flirty friends" Literally. That was all he said. This was when I discovered that I really dislike intentionless flirting, but that is another blog post. The point is, I asked and was told that we're just friends. Which really is fine. So yeah, that was Monday or Tuesday, and then yesterday I gave him a ride down to Provo.
The drive down was fun. He taught me the driving game that his family would always play, which consists of looking for any possible significant arrangement of letters on a license plate and hitting the other people in the car when you see them. I am good at this game. I drilled him in the leg real good a few times. To the point that every time I moved my hand he flinched. Hehe. Anyway, we got to Provo and went over to my brother's place to look at his pictures. Then we came back to my apartment (it was about 6) and I wanted to watch Northanger Abbey, but instead we got distracted and watched dancing videos for nearly two hours. All that time sitting on the couch though let my exceeding tiredness catch up with me and I asked him if I'd be a bad host for taking a small nap. We both ended up conking out on the couch for about 20 or 30 minutes (though he claims that he was actually meditating) and then it was off to blues dancing...after a quick detour to Orem to pick up Sven.
So blues dancing. Yeah, I've decided that I'm not going to really go for the rest of the summer. I mean, I'll probably show up here and there, but as a whole, its a no go. There are various reasons for this, the one I'm telling most people is money. I'm so very very broke. So I've decided that I'm not allowed to spend any more money the rest of the summer unless it is absolutely vital to my life. This isn't the only reason I have, but it is the least offensive and most understandable one I can share with people. The other reasons have to do mostly just with my own personal frustration with some of the things that go on with the way Blue Tango is run. I don't know. I don't really want to get into it right now. But the point is, after Denim begged me, I agreed that I'd go this last week. I was really really hoping that I could have a good night to go out on and....I really really did. Funnily enough, it seems that most everyone else had rather bad nights. But I was on. I danced with Dmitri right when we got in (turns out there's something about physically coming to the dance with a guy that just makes him dance with you more often...Dmitri asked me some three or four times) and unlike usual, I connected right away without that obligatory opening dance of awkward I usually have. So we had a good dance. And then I got to dance the rest of the night with all the people I wanted to dance with, several times all of them. I had a couple really good dances with Sven. Our first dance, about half way through, he gave me this odd look and I was like "What?" "Oh nothing...you're just really good" Awwwwww. I had a rather short dance with Sancho and unfortunately, he was the only person I wanted to dance with a second time that I never got to. I danced with Robert Sean Leonard and Mad Dog (first dance with him was meh, second was freakin awesome). I also danced with Captain Intense a couple of times. He asked Gloria and I if he was intimidating to dance with and we were pointing out how picky he was about who he dances with, using ourselves as examples of how he never dances with us. He was like "Whatever" and so he asked me to dance the next song. And then I asked him again right at the end. He really is a fantastic lead. I'm glad I got to dance with him. And then I had my dances with Dmitri. They were all really good.
After the dance we all went to Denny's of course. Alas, I still had to take Dmitri home, so I didn't stay the whole time. But it was fun. Then drive to Salt Lake, sing along to some great music, and drive home. Fall into bed about 4. What did I tell you about the very damaged sleeping schedule?
So that was yesterday. Today was just...so wonderfully relaxing. Finally I was able to sleep for as long as I wanted. See, I've been going to bed between 3 and four every night for the last week, but I never get to sleep in the next morning. I've had work, or driving friends to the DMV or whatever. So this morning, when I was finally able to sleep....oh my! It was glorious! I slept without interruption until 12:30, which on the one hand horrifies me, but on the other just felt sooo good! I got up, jumped in the shower, and then texted Bunny. She'd asked me to come by this morning, and while it was no longer morning, I did feel I ought to fulfill my promise. As it turned out, I was perfectly timed to take Kandi to work first, so I did that and then headed over to see Bunny. When I got there Sunshine, who lives just below her, was sitting out on the grass. Anyway, I was so late Bunny had to go to work in a little while, but she was glad to see me none the less as she is leaving for a week on vacation. So I chatted with her about her new fella. Then she left and I went downstairs and visited Sunshine, since she was there. Here's the thing about Sunshine. I really really like her, but I never seem to have a good chance to actually get to know her. So it was really really nice to get to talk to her. And we actually had quite the epic visit. I think I was there for an hour and a half. We talked about her getting engaged, and dancing, and my recent obsession with fairy tales. It was really fun. She's taking American Heritage this summer and I told her that if she ever wants a study budy/discussion partner she should absolutely give me a call. As I always do, I really hope we can hang out together again. She's so darn nice. After I finally left her place I decided on a complete whim to head over to the Fella's house. Before I get to the explanation for that decision, I have to say that as I was walking I discovered a cherry tree with actual ripe, non-bird-ravaged fruit on it. Can there possibly be anything more glorious on a summer's day than eating fresh cherries off a random tree? I think not.
Anyway, as I was leaving I was feeling very effervescently happy and I just wanted to talk to the Fella. We haven't really talked in quite a while and I decided that I wanted to. So I walked over and, after a moment of hesitation at the door I knocked. He answered with his hands full of bubble wrap, which he was "popping so that it wouldn't take up so much space in the garbage" Sure, yeah. Or because it's just fun to pop bubble wrap! He very generously shared his bubble wrap with me, so we popped bubbles for a while. We just ended up chatting a little bit about the dance scene here, and his business. He's finally gotten caught up with a bunch of things that have been hanging over him for a long time now so he was feeling very proud of himself. He walked to the door with me and as I was leaving I said something about going to the park. "Are you just walking around, going to parks and visiting people today or something?" he asked me? Absolutely! Can you possibly imagine a better way to spend a summer day? He was sort of looking at me incredulously and said that that sounded like fun. I agreed and headed on my way. I am very glad that I stopped by. He said he might come to the dance tomorrow, though I doubt he'll actually show up. But he might, and that will be nice. And it was just nice to visit him and feel like it wasn't awkward. I really was in an obviously happy mood and I think I had a big silly smile on my face the whole time. But I was just happy. And it made me even more happy that I left without any sort of excess of emotional turbulence. For all intents and purposes, he was just any other friend I'd stopped by to visit. Very good.
After that I stopped by for a few minutes at Sergey's place on my way home. When I got here Unicorn was crashed on the couch watching TV. I've never appreciated before how nice it has been that I have had roommates who don't watch TV. Now that I have Unicorn sporadically taking over the living room I realize that I really don't like actual TV. I can't use the living room when she's in there. So instead I took my banana chair outside and I've been sitting here for the rest of the evening goofing off on the computer. It has been a very very good day. Kandi should be getting home any time now and I think I'm going to get her to watch a movie with me. And then I'm going to try very hard to go bed at a semi rational time. I don't know how well that will work, but I'll try.
I'm sorry this is such a huge post. I just realized that I hadn't updated here in ages aside from the song meme. And I guess things have happened to me. I talked to my mom yesterday and she asked me what was going on in my life and I said nothing, because that's actually how I feel. But if I stop to think about it, there are some things I guess. Oh, I never go to my epic conversation with Spitz! I'm not going to go into it now, but suffice it to say, I love that guy like I love very few other people. He will always hold a special place in my heart. Yeah, anyway, sorry again, and if you've made it through all of this, thanks :)
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What the what?! Missed call from DBFB Juan? Umm...ok...