I retreated back to my room...
Interesting weekend. First, we have the Fella, instigating conversations with me right and left. Seriously, I feel like he is talking to me every time I get online these days. Its probably more like every couple of days. But compared to the never of before, this is a big change. And most of the time I'm not really sure that he really has anything he wants to talk to me about. Take yesterday. I get online, a few minutes later I get "hey". Nothing else. Not even "Hey. How are you?" Just "Hey". So I say hey back, and then when he doesn't say anything else I, being my mother's daughter, start blathering on about how I have been enjoying the blog he just started. He's sort of distracted and delayed in answering and I'm thinking "I shouldn't have bothered him" when I realize that, wait a minute! HE was the one who started talking to ME! Not the other way round. Or perhaps we could take tonight. Scarce moments after I log in tonight, here it comes again--"Hey". It is his salutation of choice. But tonight he did seem to have something he wanted to talk about. After a few traded pleasantries he suddenly spits out "I lost it tonight. Went all out with Ducky. I used some very strong language. Everything's an argument with him. He doesn't know when to quit." See, he has started a blog (allegedly inspired by me...I doubt the truth of that statement since the only blog of mine that he reads is very fluffy and humor oriented versus his very philosophical blog). On this blog he has posted some very personal thoughts; things he has been contemplating for years, ideas that have occupied a lot of his brainspace. I guess Ducky read them and then, for no reason other than a love of argument, started ripping them all to shreds. He didn't even have valid arguments, just inflammatory rhetoric (something Ducky excels at, by the way) and it really set the Fella off. Normally he and Ducky get on quite well. They have these wicked debates and they both thoroughly enjoy them. But this time it was something the Fella actually cared about and he just couldn't take it. And it would seem that he just wanted to tell someone, because he tells me all of this, not really seeming to want or need a reply, and then when I ask him if he's ok he's like "Yeah, thanks. :-) I'm recovered. I retreated to my room and kind of...sat at my desk and shook for a while." This from the guy who is more in control of himself than anyone I've ever met before! That was when I really realized that he wasn't kidding when he said that he lost it. I told him that if I was there I would give him a hug and then asked if there was anything I could do for him. He said no, he probably should just go to bed. And then, after a few more minutes, to bed he went. It was not a long conversation. But apparently he just needed to talk to someone who he knows thinks he's brilliant or something. Is it silly that I feel gratified that he chose me? Probably. But what are you gonna do?
So that was half of my odd weekend. Random conversations with the Fella that mean more to me than they probably should. And then there was the stomp last night. Link called me last Saturday and asked "Hey! Do you want to go to the stomp with me?" which I thought was funny cause, hey! Don't pretend like you're inviting me. I'm the one with the car, so really I'm the one taking you. But anyway, I couldn't go last week because I'd already committed to going with Lil' Brudder up to a bonfire. But I promised him that I'd go this week. So I picked him up just after 7, and he, Denim, Lil' Brudder and I all trekked up to SLC. There was hardly anyone there, which is why the Stomp was lame. But Dmitri was also there about halfway through, which is where the Stomp was kinda awesome. Ok, see...Dmitri. There is much confusion in my brain over Dmitri. On the one hand he is a total goofball and a ginormous flirt. Probably there is no reason to be either confused or concerned. But on the other hand...I don't know. Yesterday sort of felt...like a thing. The sort of small thing that is potentially the beginning of a more substantial thing. Of course, that is probably just me making much more of things than they deserve. There was really nothing beyond his typical behavior with most girls. I think. And I'm still not even sure if I want there to be anything. Cause one of the only things that I know for certain is that I love dancing with Dmitri. He is tall and solid and a good lead and I just feel happy when I dance with him. Even when he tries crazy things like pulling the leg that is holding all my weight out from under me and expecting me to not freak out and just go with it. This little bit of excitement came at the end of one very...erm...nice blues dance. We'd danced a couple of times throughout the night and he said he was probably going to head home. I said we should dance a blues song before he left. So we sat on the couch and waited for one to come on, which it only did when we finally asked the DJ. He then decided to play a seven minute song! Which we danced to. And when he pulled me in to dance very close I found that I didn't mind. I also didn't mind that we finished every dance with a hug, topped off by the hug he gave me at my car as we were leaving. I also was amused when he asked me who I came with and when I said Link and Lil' Brudder he wanted to know who Lil' Brudder was? Where was he? Who was he? It made me smile a bit. But I'm still confused there. I don't know what I want. I'll keep you posted.
Well, it would appear that the benadryl I took about an hour ago is finally kicking in. My eyes are getting very heavy. I think I shall turn in and hope that I get some decent sleep tonight that does not involve keeping my roommates awake with the hacking lung of death. Oh yeah, did I mention that I am either sick in May or I have sudden onset recent allergies. I don't know which I'm less excited by. Anyway, off to bed with me...
So that was half of my odd weekend. Random conversations with the Fella that mean more to me than they probably should. And then there was the stomp last night. Link called me last Saturday and asked "Hey! Do you want to go to the stomp with me?" which I thought was funny cause, hey! Don't pretend like you're inviting me. I'm the one with the car, so really I'm the one taking you. But anyway, I couldn't go last week because I'd already committed to going with Lil' Brudder up to a bonfire. But I promised him that I'd go this week. So I picked him up just after 7, and he, Denim, Lil' Brudder and I all trekked up to SLC. There was hardly anyone there, which is why the Stomp was lame. But Dmitri was also there about halfway through, which is where the Stomp was kinda awesome. Ok, see...Dmitri. There is much confusion in my brain over Dmitri. On the one hand he is a total goofball and a ginormous flirt. Probably there is no reason to be either confused or concerned. But on the other hand...I don't know. Yesterday sort of felt...like a thing. The sort of small thing that is potentially the beginning of a more substantial thing. Of course, that is probably just me making much more of things than they deserve. There was really nothing beyond his typical behavior with most girls. I think. And I'm still not even sure if I want there to be anything. Cause one of the only things that I know for certain is that I love dancing with Dmitri. He is tall and solid and a good lead and I just feel happy when I dance with him. Even when he tries crazy things like pulling the leg that is holding all my weight out from under me and expecting me to not freak out and just go with it. This little bit of excitement came at the end of one very...erm...nice blues dance. We'd danced a couple of times throughout the night and he said he was probably going to head home. I said we should dance a blues song before he left. So we sat on the couch and waited for one to come on, which it only did when we finally asked the DJ. He then decided to play a seven minute song! Which we danced to. And when he pulled me in to dance very close I found that I didn't mind. I also didn't mind that we finished every dance with a hug, topped off by the hug he gave me at my car as we were leaving. I also was amused when he asked me who I came with and when I said Link and Lil' Brudder he wanted to know who Lil' Brudder was? Where was he? Who was he? It made me smile a bit. But I'm still confused there. I don't know what I want. I'll keep you posted.
Well, it would appear that the benadryl I took about an hour ago is finally kicking in. My eyes are getting very heavy. I think I shall turn in and hope that I get some decent sleep tonight that does not involve keeping my roommates awake with the hacking lung of death. Oh yeah, did I mention that I am either sick in May or I have sudden onset recent allergies. I don't know which I'm less excited by. Anyway, off to bed with me...