The Beginning
So I have been sucked into LiveJournal land. I guess I just wanted a place to rant sometimes when I feel overloaded and overwhelmed. I am taking a step away from everything right now and just trying to reclaim some normalcy that has been lost over the past week. The time I spent thinking about it all was just making me crazy. Let it go. Let God take over. That is what I keep telling myself. David will be home Friday and that will help. I miss him. I do like small breaks but when it lasts more than a week I am SO done. He is my rock and my sanity keeper. I just love him. I have been listening to a lot of Nichole Nordeman lately. She is such an awesome songwriter. She just tells it like it is and opens your eyes to the things that we sometimes gloss over in our lives. As you can see by the title of this journal her Brave song is in my head all the time now. "So long status quo, I think I just let go, you make me wanna be brave. The way it always was, is no longer good enough, you make me wanna be brave" I think that I have lived, to some degree, in the state of middle ground she talks about in that song. Just kind of going along...knowing what is right but not always following it. If nothing else came out of the hardship of the last two weeks, I have learned that I want to be a person of Christ. I can't stand by silently and let my life be of no use to Him. So my goal from now on is to step out of my comfort zone and be the person I know I can be. Jessica is showing me how to do that. Who'd have thought you could learn so much from your kids? She is unafraid to be who she is and unashamed to be what she is. I am very proud of her. Of all my kids really. But sometimes I don't set a good example for them. One of love and patience for everyone. I'm trying Lord. Just know that I am trying...