im so lonely
I never knew I could feel so lonely and distant from everyone, nor have I ever felt so unloved. I got off work today at noon.. and I have to be at work at 5:30AM tomorrow.. therefore I probably need to go to bed around 8-9 tonight. Which would have gave me 8 hours of hangout time today that I wanted to take advantage of, not ONE person called wanting to hangout.. and I think about it, and you know.. no one ever does.. I always ask other people if they want to hang out or something.. no one ever says "hey amy, you want to go with me.. or blah blah blah or hang out" or anything. Like, am I really that awful? I don't think I understand.. I don't have any friends? not one? I'm going to be lonely for the rest of my life and it isnt fair. What did I ever do to deserve this? seriously. I want to drink and drink and drink until everything turns black and my entire body is numb. fuck man. fuck it all.