(no subject)
High.
I haven't updated in a long time, huh? Life has been so crazy since the last time I updated. Amanda and I aren't friends anymore.. and seriously I don't care as much as I thought I would. She's always been mean to me anyway- we all know I don't like mean people. I'm sensitive! So I don't know. All it means is that I won't have her being mean and bossy to me anymore. I won't have a "best friend" that talks shit behind my back, when I stand up for her. Its made me grow up and realize alot too. Like, who needs a 'best friend'? I don't.. all of my friends are my best friends because I value their friendship so much and love them to death, they are amazing and would never treat me the way Amanda treats all of her friends. I don't know why we even stayed friends for as long as we did. We never even really had anything in common, at all. It was weird. It is so refreshing though to not have to worry about not getting bitched at for not 'returning a call' and dumb stuff like that. It's all dumb, thats exactly what it is/was. Everyone was will realize it real quick too.
anyway though, getting off of that subject.
it other news,
the past few weeks have been so much fun,
it has been nonstop partyin for me..
and I'm livin the good life.
I can't even begin to name everything, there has been boat rides, fishin, drinking (of course EVERYDAY), making love (haha jk for real. anyone who knows me, knows I dont do that gross stuff anymore.), meeting random people, partys.. ALMOST GETTING ARRESTED! Yep. James and I almost got arrested, it was really scary.. I regret it, it was the stupidest thing ever.. but seriously, we didn't do anything really. I hate the law. fuckers.
WEDNESDAY - was 4/20, it was an amazing day.. It wasnt as I had been planning for MONTHS, but then again I also am not friends with the person I was going to celebrate 4/20 with. It was still cool though, I hung out with my favorite homie ever, and my other favorite homie - LITTLE JOHN<3. I met a guy with 2 thumbs, well I guess 3 really. It was crazyness.
(days in between I don't really remember too well.)
FRIDAY NIGHT - I had 3 huge daqeries (sp.?) before I left my house, then Bonnie and Chris came to pick me up.. we then went to Josephs where everyone was leaving to go "fight" n I don't know.. it was dumb. So we leave, and go to this huge party on the mountain and have whiskey, rum, vodka, beer, EVERYTHING. I saw DAIMEN there, that was cool as hell. It was awesome. I was the only Huntsvillian there though, so I only knew a handfull of people. Some were nice, some were mean. Thats life though. Justin slammed me into the ground head first, I thought my head busted at first, so I got really nervous for a minute and had to walk off cause I was just too drunk.
anyway, I don't remember much after hitting my head but I remember leaving and getting to Josephs and everyones wasted trying to fight so I get in the middle trying to keep peace thinking "okay they wont hit me" MISTAKE! Chris B. pushed me and I thats when I got mad at started THROWIN BOWS haha but seriously I exagerated because I was drunk.. but so did they so whatevs. Chris said my punches hurt n he has knots on his head, hah whoops.. I didnt even know I could hit that hard? hm. thats weird, dunno where them muscles came from. anyway.. I don't remember anything else because I kept drinkin till I passed out and the more I drank the more I forgot.
SATURDAY NIGHT - I got drunk with Kyle, Cameron, and Chris H. and met this guy Daniel.. and whatever. We drank a few beers n some vodka, not as much as Friday but I still got to the point where I was pretty drunk. It was fun and I enjoyed it, I think I got too rowdy for them though, I don't think they liked shitty Amy. oh poo. Oh well, I hope they at least like sober Amy? Sometimes I feel like they all think I'm dumb, specially Cameron.. I hope he doesn't. anyway, Chris came inside with his face bleeding freezing his ass off n I tried to take care off him, and Kyle was like "leave him alone! he's just really drunk!" yeah I knew that, but he was freezing and bleeding and I don't know he just looked so helpless. anyway I freaked out about a bunch of shit last night and I'm really embarrased to show my face again because of some stuff that I said/did. I want to cry.. seriously.
I need to quit drinking,
I always do the DUMBEST shit.
It makes me look so retarded.
so IM SORRY EVERYONE.
I have bruises ALL over me, even on my hands from punchin Chris. oops.
jeez its been a crazy weekend.
I really wish I wasnt afraid to death of getting close to people, everyone seems to have someone and just have that love, not me though.. because any time it comes near I run from it. I'm so stupid. I rally wish I could help it, but I can't. Is there medicine for that? If so, I need some.
or I just need a guy that will be my FRIEND and let it lead to this super awesome bestfriend friendship, and then maybe more than that. Guys always try to move super fast and it reallys freaks me out. GROSS! ugh why do I have to be so damn mental? like the only cure is alcohol but seriously all thats doing is leading to an alcohol problem and I can see it and I'm sure everyone can because thats all I do now.. but I mean I don't nkow what else to do. I have these crazy feelings in my head and drinking makes it temporarly go away.
I don't know, I'm so confused.
I love yall so much. bye.. amy.
♥ ♥ ♥