justified denials....apathy..

[solomonr]

state-8 hard lemonades, couple bowls

KNOWING the path
and walking it
are two very different things
i know what needs to be done
ive neglected myself
mind and body
this diabetes thing
shouldnt be a problem
i havent done yoga in months
eating shit food
drinking more than i should
havent meditated in god knows how long
all it takes is action
what holds me back?
i would be so much better off
if i just got off my ass....
what the fuck could i possibly be afraid of?
*music change...tori-putting the damage on*

i search the sky
and through the ashes of my memory
i can see
do you believe in fate
i didnt
but now...
i can smell your skin
through all these miles
i long to touch...
that space between your thigh and hip
*music change...portishead-only you*
the hollow of your throat...just above your collarbone
the small of your back
your eyes
my god, your eyes

then these others around me
all with their shells
why wont you just be you
you all seem to put these shells around you
do you think ill respect you less?
because you are you?
*music..marilyn manson-tourniquet*
just fucking tell me
ill respect the truth more
dont tell me this bullshit
just so i think you are cool
what the fuck do i matter?
dont you children see?
i want to know you--
*sighs*

humans, as a race, have rather peculiar social stigmas..we spend all this time searching for someone to complete us, and when we think we may have found them, we build these walls to keep them at arms length......
*music..ani difranco-this bouquet*APC-thinking of you*
we refuse to be HONEST... with what bothers us about each other..and ourselves...
no more ranting for now

*music...NIN-gave up