(no subject)
So I haven't written in this for ages. I had totally forgotten about it really, but it's a great way to write down your feelings and it can be as ephemeral as you like. Facebook and Myspace have taken away all the creativity from such websites as these and it's upsetting.
My life is a bit of a mess right now. I am a qualified journalist, but have no job to show for it as there is a recession and all those who have been makde redundant are taking jobs from new starters. It's a joke, but I'm struggling on and living at home which is interesting. My parents are rocks to me and have helped me through thick and thin. I appreciate them more {though they'd probably say otherwise} and I'm more in control of who I am as a person.
I am, however, in yet another rocky relationship.....lies, deceit and anger right from the start. Other people interfering and causing trouble and me trusting too much and falling in love too quickly without knowing what I was getting into. Anthony turned out to be an abusive, manipulative man who betrayed me beyond forgiveness and now I'm falling for someone exactly the same. Someone I can't trust and yet whom I love because I believed his lies for so long seeing as I had no reason to believe otherwise. I blame myself for being too trusting and for wanting to believe something because of a need within me.
I'm tired, drained, confused, sickened and wondering when things will just slot into place and I'll finally be as happy as everyone says I deserve to be.....maybe one day. I'm still hopeful so that hasn't been destroyed in me yet.
My life is a bit of a mess right now. I am a qualified journalist, but have no job to show for it as there is a recession and all those who have been makde redundant are taking jobs from new starters. It's a joke, but I'm struggling on and living at home which is interesting. My parents are rocks to me and have helped me through thick and thin. I appreciate them more {though they'd probably say otherwise} and I'm more in control of who I am as a person.
I am, however, in yet another rocky relationship.....lies, deceit and anger right from the start. Other people interfering and causing trouble and me trusting too much and falling in love too quickly without knowing what I was getting into. Anthony turned out to be an abusive, manipulative man who betrayed me beyond forgiveness and now I'm falling for someone exactly the same. Someone I can't trust and yet whom I love because I believed his lies for so long seeing as I had no reason to believe otherwise. I blame myself for being too trusting and for wanting to believe something because of a need within me.
I'm tired, drained, confused, sickened and wondering when things will just slot into place and I'll finally be as happy as everyone says I deserve to be.....maybe one day. I'm still hopeful so that hasn't been destroyed in me yet.