der fuehrer's face.
i am home. work is through.
for now, at least, all is quiet.
i feel the least bit different for my time with the ocean.
my first night on the island i spent with a bottle of tequila, an angry yet benevolent coast, and warm memories. some my own and some inherited. all inextricable from myself.
so many thoughts. so little inclination towards focus.
reconciliation of memory and nostalgia to a living present bridges a gap seldom fused in the mind.
something akin to catching a scent on the air for a moment and then realizing that it's gone and its source once more unnameable.
a breath at once forgotten.
my great grandfather's trip across the pond. the devastation he encountered.
my father's childhood.
my own.
all ever present. all just out of reach.
the immensity of the sea.
i saw lights. heard sirens. watched a young and intoxicated man pulled from it and carted off.
to be loved but never fully trusted.
unceasing immensity.
this feels as a knowledge without understanding of god himself.
a calm yet frightened acceptance.
to see something that large and powerful, that all consuming, defies disbelief... but also requires it if for nothing more than sanity.
peace of mind afforded by a blind eye.
excuse me please. i'm at an odd place.
g'night all, couldn't tell you what i mean.
for now, at least, all is quiet.
i feel the least bit different for my time with the ocean.
my first night on the island i spent with a bottle of tequila, an angry yet benevolent coast, and warm memories. some my own and some inherited. all inextricable from myself.
so many thoughts. so little inclination towards focus.
reconciliation of memory and nostalgia to a living present bridges a gap seldom fused in the mind.
something akin to catching a scent on the air for a moment and then realizing that it's gone and its source once more unnameable.
a breath at once forgotten.
my great grandfather's trip across the pond. the devastation he encountered.
my father's childhood.
my own.
all ever present. all just out of reach.
the immensity of the sea.
i saw lights. heard sirens. watched a young and intoxicated man pulled from it and carted off.
to be loved but never fully trusted.
unceasing immensity.
this feels as a knowledge without understanding of god himself.
a calm yet frightened acceptance.
to see something that large and powerful, that all consuming, defies disbelief... but also requires it if for nothing more than sanity.
peace of mind afforded by a blind eye.
excuse me please. i'm at an odd place.
g'night all, couldn't tell you what i mean.