Endor- Friday Fandom time
Despite all the training and preparation, Jaina wasn't there when Alema was finally killed. That honor had gone to Jag, and it was also why she was sitting by his bedside in the medical ward of yet another Jedi base now.
They'd tracked Alema to an old hideout of Lumiya's, gotten ambushed by Ship, and Zekk had handled that while sending Jaina off to find Alema. She did that, but when a series of explosions rocked the hideout and they knew there was a strong possibility of ending up breathing vacuum, Jag had stayed behind to finish the job because his suit was better equipped to handle it... and because he'd been hunting Alema far longer than Jaina had. This one was- and always had been- his. It was the destruction to the hideout that had done more damage to him than Alema had. They'd been lucky to recover him again in the Falcon, but that didn't happen until Jaina had had a good while to realize she didn't know that she could grieve for anyone else now, and especially not Jag.
After the planning meeting, Jaina went to see him. He'd been out for a while now, and had some time in the bacta tank for a slew of injuries including broken bones and internal bleeding. It struck her that not long ago, she'd been sitting with Zekk like this. And now, Zekk's reinterest in her suddenly made more sense: maybe it wasn't that he was still in love with her or wanted to be with her. Maybe he didn't want to lose the one person he'd always been able to count on, either, and Jag threatened that.
She corrected herself a second later. Zekk thought Jag threatened that. Right.
Jag opened his eyes, scanning the room to see everything he could before moving an inch. That had to be something left over from his days on Tenupe. Then he turned his head and looked at her. "Hello."
"Hello yourself," she greeted him. "Remember much?"
"Yes." He started to nod, but he'd taken some damage to his neck. Jaina couldn't help but remember now how his armor didn't protect that part of him. He stopped nodding pretty quick. "I remember everything. Except where we are."
"Endor. You were unconscious when we got here."
"Ah. And Zekk?" It was sort of sweet, really. After Jaina had put a stop to the fighting over her, they'd become a more cohesive team. It also meant that now Jag and Zekk actually looked out for each other. When she thought about it realistically, she realized they'd probably bonded by bitching about her.
"Better," she replied. "He was kind of a mess coming out of the asteroid. He took the same amount of damage you did... but emotional, not physical." As it turned out, when you had a former Dark Jedi like Zekk who now held himself to seriously strict standards of right and good, you really didn't want a creepy meditation sphere being able to get into his head.
"Too bad. Physical scars are much better conversation starters at parties," said he who probably knew from experience. He studied the ceiling for a few moments and said, "Well. Mission accomplished."
"That's right, mission accomplished. And you've done what you needed to do. To help restore your family honor."
"Yes."
It wasn't till that one word, and the way he said it, that Jaina realized that it wasn't a good thing. He was done. He'd been hunting Alema for over two years now, and that had basically been his life. Sure, he'd restored his honor, but thanks to the stupid Chiss rules, he was completely cut off from his family, his military career was over... With Alema dead, he didn't have anything left. It scared Jaina.
"What's next for you?" she asked gently.
Jag shrugged, though that wasn't a happy motion for him, either. "There's a war on. I'm sure someone needs a pilot."
"Stay with the Jedi," Jaina told him.
"Sure."
She didn't know why that response bothered her. "I don't mean as a civilian employee. I mean as a friend."
He carefully turned his head to look at her again. "I haven't done a very good job of making friends. I would rate my success at nearly zero."
"Zekk looks on you as a friend."
"Yes. Well, without him, my rate of success would be exactly zero. And truth be told, for reasons I'm sure you understand, he would probably prefer that I not be around too much."
She resisted the urge to tell him her theory about why Zekk had been fighting for her. So her feelings on things might have softened a bit. That didn't mean Jacen wasn't her focus, and she didn't want to encourage distraction by encouraging Jag. "I'm your friend."
"Are you?"
Jaina sighed. "Oh, we're not having this conversation again."
"No, we're not. This is a new one. I'm not asking you set aside your focus, to distract yourself from training for your next mission. I'm not asking you to roll back the clock ten years." He carefully pulled himself to sit back against the pillows, still watching her. "I'm asking you to tell me if I have a place in your life. Someone you'd turn to if you'd ever just acknowledge that you needed some help. Someone you'd miss more than occasionally if he went away. Am I your friend?"
Jaina knew what he wanted to hear, but he deserved more than an automatic answer. He deserved the truth. She just wasn't sure what the truth was.
It took her long moments to sift out her feelings from the bewildering insulating layer of decisions and codes of conduct she'd fabricated for herself. To find it, she had to look past what she had to do and be; she had to find the place where she kept what she wanted to do and be.
"Yes," she said. It was kind of a relief to say, actually.
"Good," he said, and held out his hand. He only relaxed when she took it. "So, what's next for you?"
Lumiya was dead. Alema was dead. There was only one target left, and he'd just kidnapped Tenel Ka's daughter. That somehow just made things easier. "A mission. Simple stuff. Rescue a princess- a Solo family tradition. Blow up a big space station."
"Also a Solo family tradition."
"You can get in on it, if you can get yourself back in shape in time," Jaina said.
"I will," Jag said, though when the time came he wouldn't be doing much but flying the Falcon, a measure of just how much Han trusted him. "And if you ever need someone to dress up in a black costume and beat you up-"
"Just shut up," Jaina said with a smile. It was her first in months.
[Second verse same as the first! Dialogue and one bit I adore taken from Fury by Aaron Allston.]
They'd tracked Alema to an old hideout of Lumiya's, gotten ambushed by Ship, and Zekk had handled that while sending Jaina off to find Alema. She did that, but when a series of explosions rocked the hideout and they knew there was a strong possibility of ending up breathing vacuum, Jag had stayed behind to finish the job because his suit was better equipped to handle it... and because he'd been hunting Alema far longer than Jaina had. This one was- and always had been- his. It was the destruction to the hideout that had done more damage to him than Alema had. They'd been lucky to recover him again in the Falcon, but that didn't happen until Jaina had had a good while to realize she didn't know that she could grieve for anyone else now, and especially not Jag.
After the planning meeting, Jaina went to see him. He'd been out for a while now, and had some time in the bacta tank for a slew of injuries including broken bones and internal bleeding. It struck her that not long ago, she'd been sitting with Zekk like this. And now, Zekk's reinterest in her suddenly made more sense: maybe it wasn't that he was still in love with her or wanted to be with her. Maybe he didn't want to lose the one person he'd always been able to count on, either, and Jag threatened that.
She corrected herself a second later. Zekk thought Jag threatened that. Right.
Jag opened his eyes, scanning the room to see everything he could before moving an inch. That had to be something left over from his days on Tenupe. Then he turned his head and looked at her. "Hello."
"Hello yourself," she greeted him. "Remember much?"
"Yes." He started to nod, but he'd taken some damage to his neck. Jaina couldn't help but remember now how his armor didn't protect that part of him. He stopped nodding pretty quick. "I remember everything. Except where we are."
"Endor. You were unconscious when we got here."
"Ah. And Zekk?" It was sort of sweet, really. After Jaina had put a stop to the fighting over her, they'd become a more cohesive team. It also meant that now Jag and Zekk actually looked out for each other. When she thought about it realistically, she realized they'd probably bonded by bitching about her.
"Better," she replied. "He was kind of a mess coming out of the asteroid. He took the same amount of damage you did... but emotional, not physical." As it turned out, when you had a former Dark Jedi like Zekk who now held himself to seriously strict standards of right and good, you really didn't want a creepy meditation sphere being able to get into his head.
"Too bad. Physical scars are much better conversation starters at parties," said he who probably knew from experience. He studied the ceiling for a few moments and said, "Well. Mission accomplished."
"That's right, mission accomplished. And you've done what you needed to do. To help restore your family honor."
"Yes."
It wasn't till that one word, and the way he said it, that Jaina realized that it wasn't a good thing. He was done. He'd been hunting Alema for over two years now, and that had basically been his life. Sure, he'd restored his honor, but thanks to the stupid Chiss rules, he was completely cut off from his family, his military career was over... With Alema dead, he didn't have anything left. It scared Jaina.
"What's next for you?" she asked gently.
Jag shrugged, though that wasn't a happy motion for him, either. "There's a war on. I'm sure someone needs a pilot."
"Stay with the Jedi," Jaina told him.
"Sure."
She didn't know why that response bothered her. "I don't mean as a civilian employee. I mean as a friend."
He carefully turned his head to look at her again. "I haven't done a very good job of making friends. I would rate my success at nearly zero."
"Zekk looks on you as a friend."
"Yes. Well, without him, my rate of success would be exactly zero. And truth be told, for reasons I'm sure you understand, he would probably prefer that I not be around too much."
She resisted the urge to tell him her theory about why Zekk had been fighting for her. So her feelings on things might have softened a bit. That didn't mean Jacen wasn't her focus, and she didn't want to encourage distraction by encouraging Jag. "I'm your friend."
"Are you?"
Jaina sighed. "Oh, we're not having this conversation again."
"No, we're not. This is a new one. I'm not asking you set aside your focus, to distract yourself from training for your next mission. I'm not asking you to roll back the clock ten years." He carefully pulled himself to sit back against the pillows, still watching her. "I'm asking you to tell me if I have a place in your life. Someone you'd turn to if you'd ever just acknowledge that you needed some help. Someone you'd miss more than occasionally if he went away. Am I your friend?"
Jaina knew what he wanted to hear, but he deserved more than an automatic answer. He deserved the truth. She just wasn't sure what the truth was.
It took her long moments to sift out her feelings from the bewildering insulating layer of decisions and codes of conduct she'd fabricated for herself. To find it, she had to look past what she had to do and be; she had to find the place where she kept what she wanted to do and be.
"Yes," she said. It was kind of a relief to say, actually.
"Good," he said, and held out his hand. He only relaxed when she took it. "So, what's next for you?"
Lumiya was dead. Alema was dead. There was only one target left, and he'd just kidnapped Tenel Ka's daughter. That somehow just made things easier. "A mission. Simple stuff. Rescue a princess- a Solo family tradition. Blow up a big space station."
"Also a Solo family tradition."
"You can get in on it, if you can get yourself back in shape in time," Jaina said.
"I will," Jag said, though when the time came he wouldn't be doing much but flying the Falcon, a measure of just how much Han trusted him. "And if you ever need someone to dress up in a black costume and beat you up-"
"Just shut up," Jaina said with a smile. It was her first in months.
[Second verse same as the first! Dialogue and one bit I adore taken from Fury by Aaron Allston.]