Aug 04, 2005 00:36
so i haven't decided yet if i shall end this journal, but for the time being i need to just say stuff? fuck i don't know.
i'm in a weird place right now. in a few weeks i'm leaving for a whole new city and an experience to change my life for sure, and i am looking forward to it as well, but that time is nearing when i'll have to say goodbye to people i've come to know and love... and it's starting to kill me. i'm not depressed about it, but i am quite sad. new friends, old friends, best friends...i know this isn't the end, but really isn't it? you say you won't let this distance change the relationship you have with your close group of friends but you're just fooling yourself. these people are going to go off and make new friends start new lives and eventually we will barely ever talk and just fall out of touch. yeah i know thats really pessimistic of me, but if you are my friend, you know that's just who i am. if you can only look at the negative point of view, when something positive does happen, it makes it that much better. whatever. as i sit here at 12 45 typing these half assed grammatical sentences i can't help but feel so many different things. yeah, of course i'm excited to finally be on my own, doing what i want, but will that experience that we all have longed for be worth it to lose so many amazing people? maybe, but more than likely not. i love my friends more than anything, if a friend ever needed anything i would drop what i was doing and help out if at all possible. i hope i've been a good friend. i don't know where i'm going with this, i'm tired, it's late and i have to go work at 10 tomorrow...which i will be in charge AGAIN. wow i'm sweet.
the original intention of this entry was just to ask something like, what helps you go to sleep at night. with me it's listening to some slow nice music...and it's always the same songs, maybe not all of them, but i always choose out of this group:
the format - on your porch
the format - a save situation
the get up kids - i'll catch you
the get up kids - newfound mass
mogwai - golden porsche
the cure - homesick
andy williams - moon river
louis armstrong - what a wonderful world
ben folds - golden slumbers
maybe some john mayer too
one last thing..will you miss me?