Back in the KCMO.

[solkinder]

I can't decide if I want to make it through this final semester or not. I can't decide if I should have been here for the past three years or not. I can't decide how different or alike I am to others in my class

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[vituperatus]

I'm glad to see you are still alive. Haven't heard from you in a while, the lack of a phone could have something to do with that.

Indecision is the biggest bane of all college students I've come to believe. None of us really want in or out of college. We go in because that's what we do. It's what we are told we are supposed to do, and we pick a place and a thing. (For you KC and art *the kind of art varied throughout the years* for me, EKU and business) Then as time goes on, we are "taught" things that we may or may not know or care about, we are judged on our performance on what we are "taught" and then we are pushed out with a peice of paper that says we now know what "they" know.

What do you do? You've been in Disney world for 4 years (I take 4 years as a bare minimum, while most people are there longer.) You've ridden the rides, you've worked for your 4+ years, but you (and as I'm saying you, this is the arbitrary you that means all college students, not you in particular) never REALLY had to work. The world is handed to you for 4 years, you can take out student loans, and hey, they don't gain interest until you leave the Magical Kingdom. So life, while confusing, and difficult, in the crazy world of Mickey and Minnie, is a lot easier, and a lot less scary than the rest of earth.

All your choices are laid out for you. You have these majors, and you can pick one. Then there are these classes you have to take to complete that major. And hey, that's all there is to it. But once you leave, the choices aren't like taking a left at the park entrance so you can ride every ride while beating a large amount of the early crowd. (Yes, I remember that almost every person will go right) There aren't set rides, and well defined lines. There's just a giant amalgamation of things, any of which could be the right or wrong decision.

Where do I go? What do I do? What do I want? And most importantly, What can my certificate of Disneyland completion get me?

Then, once you see what it can get you, do you want it?

I as well as you, don't know what I should be doing, I don't know where I should be going, if I should even bother going back to Richmond come Sunday evening. But I've dedicated a goodly chunk of my life to Disney, and well, if there's one thing they teach you there, it's the golden mistake of all managers.

"If a manager makes a mistake, instead of owning up to it and stopping it, 90% of all managers will encourage the policy or decision to continue in the hopes that it will right itself and no one will ever notice."

So onward I go, with only 2 semesters left, I plan on milking Disney for all they are worth, I'm going to drink every ounce of their over-priced bottled waters, and I'm going to get my certificate. Because frankly, too much of me has gone into it.

Do I fear leaving? Yes. Do I fear staying? Yes. Do I know if I should have gone at all? No. But is it almost over? Yes. And that's the part that pulls me, I'm almost done! And so are you. Will you use your degree in the way you want? Who knows! Will you use it at all?? WHO KNOWS!!! But will you have it just in case? You bet.

So buck up buddy. I'm there with ya, I see the trains coming, They are both heading from opposite directions, and I'm stuck in the tunnel. But life goes on, and for a few more precious months, you belong to KCAI. And after that. You'll belong to you. As will everything KCAI has given you. And believe it or not, there is a bit to that. Even if it did cost you 16k a semester.