All eyez on me.....
"I'll bet u got a pistol..you don't know who to trust..."- 2paC
Well...I went to Dallas and I guess it was pretty cool.I had a nice time visting with Yvonne and Jake.I went to deep ellum Sunday night.Not too much happend though,nothing real exciting anyways.I Had a dreaM about B the other day and I have been kinda sad and spaced out since that.I still love that kid.I guess i always will.I try so hard not to..I pray to god,please just let me stop loving him....maybe it's not time to yet..I don;t know.My dad got laid off.I found out when I got back from Dallas.What next?Heh.I am looking forward to going into work and getting my mind of of B.Hopefully we will be busy this evening.I guess I thought I could push it all out of my mind...I can't.I doubt I will ever be able to love someone like I loved B.It hurts like hell,but I have learned alot.I have had alot of alone time to think.I am happy that I met B and got the chance to know him.He will always have a special place in my heart.I had to learn to except that I will love him probably forever,but I fucked up...he's not comming back.I have to deal with that too.I don't regret even a second spent with him.I am a better person for knowing him and loving him.I just hope he finds what he's looking for one day and he's happy.I still miss him so much sometimes..I feel like such a fool.:) But oh well....what can ya do?I see my friends with their girlfriends/boyfriends and they are all happy n shit...I am happy for them.Sometimes I am sad,becuase after all I have been through...I just want someone to love me too.Anyways...I can't be boohooing like this when i go to work.Looks like a job for the chronic sack...*sigh* I need a pet,to keep me company.Anyways,I'm still alive.....trying to make since of shit :)
Well...I went to Dallas and I guess it was pretty cool.I had a nice time visting with Yvonne and Jake.I went to deep ellum Sunday night.Not too much happend though,nothing real exciting anyways.I Had a dreaM about B the other day and I have been kinda sad and spaced out since that.I still love that kid.I guess i always will.I try so hard not to..I pray to god,please just let me stop loving him....maybe it's not time to yet..I don;t know.My dad got laid off.I found out when I got back from Dallas.What next?Heh.I am looking forward to going into work and getting my mind of of B.Hopefully we will be busy this evening.I guess I thought I could push it all out of my mind...I can't.I doubt I will ever be able to love someone like I loved B.It hurts like hell,but I have learned alot.I have had alot of alone time to think.I am happy that I met B and got the chance to know him.He will always have a special place in my heart.I had to learn to except that I will love him probably forever,but I fucked up...he's not comming back.I have to deal with that too.I don't regret even a second spent with him.I am a better person for knowing him and loving him.I just hope he finds what he's looking for one day and he's happy.I still miss him so much sometimes..I feel like such a fool.:) But oh well....what can ya do?I see my friends with their girlfriends/boyfriends and they are all happy n shit...I am happy for them.Sometimes I am sad,becuase after all I have been through...I just want someone to love me too.Anyways...I can't be boohooing like this when i go to work.Looks like a job for the chronic sack...*sigh* I need a pet,to keep me company.Anyways,I'm still alive.....trying to make since of shit :)