Embraced..

[solitudeofmind]

Ive been remembering alot of things about myself I've either forgotten or pushed away..
Im not the man I thought I was..
Im something else..
I never really had a plan..
Call me what you will but I wasnt prepared.
Ive dealt with it..
Lost many I would keep..
Turned away..Been turned away.
Doesnt mean to much really.

Theres certain people that managed to pull things out of me I didnt know I had.
Theres certain people..Ive never met who impacted my life..
I like things at a distance...well I did anyway.
Never knew how much was demanded of a person in solitude.
Ive let anger...fear and depression rule me..

What rules me tonight..
Holding on to something that would rather be free..
Im sorry dear friend I could not give you what you wanted.
Out of the blue you came to me like you always do..
Your presence cant be shrugged off..
I can only wonder if you still think of me.
Friends Ive had all my life...
Friend Ive never had.

I stand...
Ready once again to move.
Silent now frozen you remain..
I ask not for you voice dear friend..
I ask to much..
Your not a monster..Infact your beauty is what captured me.
I was the monster..
I knew pain to well and could see it in my future..
Please be happy..
You knew it was comming....so did I..
Destiny of a lie....