(no subject)
here's a strange realization i had, after saying goodbye to Eric, i had the chance to move there this year. When i was ready to go back to school, and things got totally fucked up, i had the chance - someone gave me 3000 - to do whatever I wanted. I could have... done what we both wanted, but i was concentrating so much on what i was doing (Chris) that the idea never occured to me - that, plus I didn't have the chance until after we broke up... that, or i could have moved out there after i finished the semester (which i'm working through as an idea for the next six months)...
i broke up with him because of the distance, but if i'd been patient, there wouldn't have been any distance. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I said goodbye to him, and his away message is "sleeping... and thank you. I wish you the best" I'm not crying, but there's an empty spot.
******
yesterday when i said goodbye to chris, i couldn't stop crying. I'm frustrated at the distance, feeling ... like there is nothing in my life that I enjoy... i went back to work, made too many mistakes, and ... everything sucks. I came home, took a hot bath, anxiety pills, and a beer. passed out. and for the first time in weeks, i feel rested.
i woke up this morning to him telling me, he could have (er, would have) stayed the extra day with me if he'd known that Justin was throwing a party at their house... more frustration. I have today off, and don't need to be into work until mid-tuesday... i'm frustrated because i would have liked the extra two nights with him... and... *sigh*
i broke up with him because of the distance, but if i'd been patient, there wouldn't have been any distance. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I said goodbye to him, and his away message is "sleeping... and thank you. I wish you the best" I'm not crying, but there's an empty spot.
******
yesterday when i said goodbye to chris, i couldn't stop crying. I'm frustrated at the distance, feeling ... like there is nothing in my life that I enjoy... i went back to work, made too many mistakes, and ... everything sucks. I came home, took a hot bath, anxiety pills, and a beer. passed out. and for the first time in weeks, i feel rested.
i woke up this morning to him telling me, he could have (er, would have) stayed the extra day with me if he'd known that Justin was throwing a party at their house... more frustration. I have today off, and don't need to be into work until mid-tuesday... i'm frustrated because i would have liked the extra two nights with him... and... *sigh*