I'M JUST LEARNING HOW TO SMILE, THAT'S NOT EASY TO DO
Yuppers I haven't updated in a very long time. But there has just been so much going on in my life I didn't know how to put it.
First off, eric broke up with me. That was the biggest upset of it all. He wanted to be friends and so did I, and I was willing to try and make that work. But, he lied to me multiple times after we broke up and I just couldn't handle it. I have honestly never been hurt so much in my life before. (p.s. to all of my friends out there, if there is something that I wanted to know, and you are affraid of telling me because you don't want to hurt me it will only be worse if you don't tell me) If he told me the truth yeah, i would be pissed, not gonna lie. But, after i was done being pissed i can say in the end "oh at least he told me the truth". So, as of right now friendship is not even an option.
I hate going through this because i feel like it makes me guarded. It puts me in a not so "people-y" mood. It doesn't allow for new people to get to know me and I feel bad. Seriously, for a month and half i didn't have an appetite. So, i barely ate. And that wasn't a choice. I had to force myself to eat.
I think i love my friends so much more after they were all there for me. I know i am strong, but they made me stronger.
Matt and I didn't end up making it as a couple. For some reason i kept on feeling so hurt, even though it was unintentional. But i wasnt able to deal with it. It was mutual in the end. I still miss him quite a bit and still sleep with the stuffed monkey named Herman he got me as a surprise. :-)
But maybe its for the best. We both can get our lives together, and get to the point where we will be able to be happy ourselves, and be able to give our next relationship everything, whether it be giving us a try again or someone else.
With everything I'm a bit bitter, slightly happy to be home and out of school, overall content with things. In a few weeks is my 20th birthday, even though i'm gonna spend it in the car on the way back from NJ, it's gonna be a good one. And the week after or during the week, hopefully I will be able to celebrate with the girlies and make the birthday even better :-D
First off, eric broke up with me. That was the biggest upset of it all. He wanted to be friends and so did I, and I was willing to try and make that work. But, he lied to me multiple times after we broke up and I just couldn't handle it. I have honestly never been hurt so much in my life before. (p.s. to all of my friends out there, if there is something that I wanted to know, and you are affraid of telling me because you don't want to hurt me it will only be worse if you don't tell me) If he told me the truth yeah, i would be pissed, not gonna lie. But, after i was done being pissed i can say in the end "oh at least he told me the truth". So, as of right now friendship is not even an option.
I hate going through this because i feel like it makes me guarded. It puts me in a not so "people-y" mood. It doesn't allow for new people to get to know me and I feel bad. Seriously, for a month and half i didn't have an appetite. So, i barely ate. And that wasn't a choice. I had to force myself to eat.
I think i love my friends so much more after they were all there for me. I know i am strong, but they made me stronger.
Matt and I didn't end up making it as a couple. For some reason i kept on feeling so hurt, even though it was unintentional. But i wasnt able to deal with it. It was mutual in the end. I still miss him quite a bit and still sleep with the stuffed monkey named Herman he got me as a surprise. :-)
But maybe its for the best. We both can get our lives together, and get to the point where we will be able to be happy ourselves, and be able to give our next relationship everything, whether it be giving us a try again or someone else.
With everything I'm a bit bitter, slightly happy to be home and out of school, overall content with things. In a few weeks is my 20th birthday, even though i'm gonna spend it in the car on the way back from NJ, it's gonna be a good one. And the week after or during the week, hopefully I will be able to celebrate with the girlies and make the birthday even better :-D