We're racing with the wind, and the feeling that I'm under

[soliloquygirl91]

Thought of the Day:At what point does it become unhealthy to make friendships with other people online? When does it become damaging? If you start to value "online friends" more than "real life" friends, then what happens if an online friend suddenly drops off the face of the planet? Is it unhealthy to form a dependence upon the support and advice

Comments

[anandrine]

My thoughts on this, I have some:

First and foremost I think online relationships are just as valid as offline ones. The fears that some people, a lot of parents, have, can sometimes be valid, that you don't really know someone online and they could be totally different in person. But I think that's changing, probably because of the popularity of social networking websites and also certain spaces, like I consider fandom spaces to usually be pretty honest. You can always have the drama but in general I think people are honest these days. And online, you have the bonus of it really being conversation-focused. You don't have body language, you maybe can't call the person up and meet them in person for an activity any time you want, but it's a lot easier to have a long discussion online than it is in real life, I think, which gives you another opportunity to really know someone. And again I think people feel safer being more open here too

[soliloquygirl91]

I see what you're saying, definitely. There's always been a stigma against the concept of online friends, and I agree completely, that's starting to really change. What worries me is that I absolutely am becoming more and more certain that none of the people I know in real life "get" me. And then I stumble across ONTD_AI, and am thinking, "Holy shit, who would have thought that I would find a bunch of people who think pretty much the way I do and relate to me in an AMERICAN IDOL FAN COMMUNITY." I mean, really, what are the chances? It sounds so strange

[anandrine]

What worries me is that I absolutely am becoming more and more certain that none of the people I know in real life "get" me. And then I stumble across ONTD_AI, and am thinking, "Holy shit, who would have thought that I would find a bunch of people who think pretty much the way I do and relate to me in an AMERICAN IDOL FAN COMMUNITY." I mean, really, what are the chances? It sounds so strange.

Yeah, it's definitely weird in an amazing way. But sometimes you just don't have access to people who ~get you~ in "real life." It can just be because of where you are or because of your interests or something. It happens all the time, we just now have access to something that can connect us with other people in other places who we do relate to on that level. :)

And then, by the same token, I'm worried about getting close to these people, because they might seem amazing and perfect, but they might let me down like everyone else. And THEN I start to think, what if people aren't letting me down, what if I'm creating unrealistic expectations of

[soliloquygirl91]

"You just meet awesome people, and you want them to be 100% awesome, which, yeah, sets you up for disappointment because no one can be perfect."

BRB, looking for the "Adam Lambert Exists: Your Argument is Invalid" macro.

And TY, bb. :)

[ms_scarletibis]

I don't think it's unhealthy at all or stupid.

The only way you'd be truly denying yourself is by limitations. There are a couple of people I know online (some I've met, and the others, not yet) that are way...everything more than some people I know in RL. In fact, one I consider a BFF.

Or hell, maybe I'm weird. But if I am, I prefer being abnormal. I'm happier that way.

[soliloquygirl91]

Lol it just seems everyone's luck that they meet "cooler" people online. Seriously, it would be so, so nice just to meet a couple similar people in real life. Even if the friendships are just as valid, sometimes it's just really nice to have a physical comforting presence.

And amen to abnormality. Above all else, I think it's a bit more entertaining this way.

[ms_scarletibis]

sometimes it's just really nice to have a physical comforting presence.

Ditto :) I am lucky to have a few in RL...

[lolitaray]

I don't think it's unhealthy at all.

I was in the BBM fandom (still am) for over 3 years and I have a number of people on my facebook and I have met IRL that I count as very close friends.

Heck, I even flew over from Australia twice in 4 years to meet them in our BBM Slash Bash and I have never had such a wonderful time.

People are people, bb. I am me whether I am talking to you face to face or in front of a computer. I think online you soon figure out who the cray cray's are. :)

And you know what? Your likings/obsessions are going to change but your fannish friends will still be there because they will get that part of you, y/y

Long comment is too fucking long

[soliloquygirl91]

Lol @ you thinking American accents are cute - I think American accents are nonexistent

Re: Long comment is too fucking long

[lolitaray]

OMFG YOU LOVE HEATH SFM TOO? Heh. That's apparently why I am destined to be on your flist. I adored Heath - omg last Feb - the worstest. I haven't been able to watch the movie again in 3 years but I liked reading the happy ending stuff.

And I know what you mean by the username icon thing. Once you meet the person tho, it all seems to fall into place. LOL

Re: Long comment is too fucking long

[soliloquygirl91]

I was pissed because Heath was so GROSSLY underrated for the longest time, and then suddenly Dark Knight comes along and everyone was all, "LIKE OMGGG HE IS SOOOO AMAZING," and I just rolled my eyes and said, "Fuck off, you didn't realize this before?" it irritated me lol.