My not-so-triumphant return (Fanfiction)
Battles Not Won
By Solitaire
~ - ~
The double doors to his room banged open without warning.
“Sanzo! That stupid pervy kappa--”
Raising his gun, Sanzo thumbed back the hammer. “I thought I said I’d kill the next person to step foot in here before morning.”
“Wah, Sanzo, don’t shoot, it’s me!” Goku insisted as he lifted his hands defensively ( Read more... )
By Solitaire
~ - ~
The double doors to his room banged open without warning.
“Sanzo! That stupid pervy kappa--”
Raising his gun, Sanzo thumbed back the hammer. “I thought I said I’d kill the next person to step foot in here before morning.”
“Wah, Sanzo, don’t shoot, it’s me!” Goku insisted as he lifted his hands defensively ( Read more... )
This story threw me into agonies while trying to write it, because the second I received the prompt I knew there was no way I could write this consensually, and I refuse to write rape, period. The possibility of writing it as rape was never viable in my mind; I have zero tolerance for it in fiction of any sort.
As someone who shares Sanzo's rare personality type and feels she can intimately understand what makes him tick, I felt the aphrodisiac plot-device was the only way I could make it work, and while I admit there is a fine line in this instance between non-con and dubious consent, believe me: if Sanzo really did feel he was being "raped," he would have managed to kill Dougan, without a doubt. (While Sanzo seems to have temporarily forgotten, he does have rather impressive "Buddhist powers" at his disposal.)
It may interest you to know, while I was typing the document, I had Sanzo's line spoken to Dougan in the movie at the top of my screen, in which he tells Dougan, "I'd rather bite my tongue and kill myself than do what you want." This was the type of stubbornness I was fully aware I was dealing with, and why I tried to put across the feeling that Sanzo was able to (guiltily) enjoy the act itself, even if he would never admit it to himself, or even if he hated the circumstances he was forced into.
I'm sorry if that didn't come across and that my story seemed like full-out rape. Like I said, I would never ordinarily consider writing rape, or even dubious consent, so perhaps I lacked the skill to properly make that distinction clear. u_u
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I'll be more careful next time.
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First off, part of the reason I had such a hard time writing this fic in the first place (excluding the fact that it wasn't 39, lol) was because my first and foremost concern in telling a Saiyuki story is keeping as close to their canon characterizations as possible.
Absolutely, my problem wasn’t with your characterizations. It was a great fic, in character, hot and chilling at the same time, no easy task. Well done, I’m not criticizing your writing in any way.
This story threw me into agonies while trying to write it, because the second I received the prompt I knew there was no way I could write this consensually, and I refuse to write rape, period. The possibility of writing it as rape was never viable in my mind; I have zero tolerance for it in fiction of any sort.
To be absolutely honest, I wouldn’t have minded if you had. If people want or need to write rape I have no problem with that. None at all. My problem is about labeling because some of us have issues around rape (me, for example, especially when there are drugs involved) and reading a dub-con that feels really, really like a rape + aphrodisiac really freaks me out. I responded to you during my little flashback freakout. I certainly didn’t intend to be unkind in any way. I like to be warned so I don’t get blindsided because if I am the results are unpleasant.
As someone who shares Sanzo's rare personality type and feels she can intimately understand what makes him tick, I felt the aphrodisiac plot-device was the only way I could make it work, and while I admit there is a fine line in this instance between non-con and dubious consent, believe me: if Sanzo really did feel he was being "raped," he would have managed to kill Dougan, without a doubt. (While Sanzo seems to have temporarily forgotten, he does have rather impressive "Buddhist powers" at his disposal.)
It didn’t seem like that at all to me. I couldn’t see any way out. What with chains, aphrodisiac, no gun and no sutra (at least I assumed Dougan had been smart enough to disarm him) it didn’t look like Sanzo had a whole lot of choice in the matter.
It may interest you to know, while I was typing the document, I had Sanzo's line spoken to Dougan in the movie at the top of my screen, in which he tells Dougan, "I'd rather bite my tongue and kill myself than do what you want." This was the type of stubbornness I was fully aware I was dealing with, and why I tried to put across the feeling that Sanzo was able to (guiltily) enjoy the act itself, even if he would never admit it to himself, or even if he hated the circumstances he was forced into.
You see, I would have read that as irony ;-). The way Dougan had set it up removed the choice by giving Sanzo the drug before he returned to consciousness. You removed any responsibility from Sanzo which allowed him to (guiltily) enjoy it, but that, as I saw it, didn’t make it any less rape. In fact that’s the whole point with this kind of rape fantasy. The victim is allowed to enjoy it because they can’t do anything about it.
I'm sorry if that didn't come across and that my story seemed like full-out rape. Like I said, I would never ordinarily consider writing rape, or even dubious consent, so perhaps I lacked the skill to properly make that distinction clear. u_u
No, not your fault. We saw the story differently, that’s all.
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::laughs:: Or perhaps we see Sanzo's character differently, to be more accurate.
As far as I'm concerned, if Sanzo truly felt he was being raped, he would have sooner lured Dougan nearer by pretending to reciprocate, then torn out Dougan's jugular with his bare teeth. ｡◕‿◕｡
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noticed i commented first before i read all the comments
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