Post
I will be taken into custody by the state of Illinois Department of Corrections on October the 5th, 2006. That is the day I will take the four year plea bargain and surrender myself. I hope that the State of Illinois will do a better job reforming me then I have tried to do for myself or that countless drug rehabilitation centers have tried.
I remember when I was a child so careless, and thinking of people in jail as terrible criminals that were out to hurt and kill me. I was always told that I was a well behaved polite child and that I would strive in life. I could do whatever I put my heart to. My mother would tell me almost everyday that I was as tenacious as she, and that when I wanted something I would get it, if I wanted it bad enough. I have become one of these criminals, and it breaks my heart. I have let myself down so terribly, I feel worthless. I have always told myself that I would never become anyone's property, but now in a few weeks I will be the property of the state of Illinois.
One of my options is bootcamp. But if I don't complete bootcamp then I have to serve the entire sentence of 4 years to the day. Meaning I would not be released from prison until October 5th, 2010. But if I do complete prison bootcamp I would be released within 4 to 6 months. The bootcamp is military based but it takes place within a maximum security prison. I believe, for myself, this is the best choice. I lack structure and self discipline, and hopefully when I get out I will be a reformed Emily capable of doing things the right way.
On a better note, I plan on having a going away party sometime very soon. I will be at the Tina Sparkle show tomorrow at pizza works after I get off of work. I would love to see some old faces.
Oh yeha! something that I'm very happy about is that I'm still clean and sober! Going on a month now. This prison shit isn't worth using over, nothing ever is worth picking up a fucking drug again. Drugs got me to where I am today and they will continue to bring me down if I allow it. My name is Emily and I'm a fucking addict.........
I remember when I was a child so careless, and thinking of people in jail as terrible criminals that were out to hurt and kill me. I was always told that I was a well behaved polite child and that I would strive in life. I could do whatever I put my heart to. My mother would tell me almost everyday that I was as tenacious as she, and that when I wanted something I would get it, if I wanted it bad enough. I have become one of these criminals, and it breaks my heart. I have let myself down so terribly, I feel worthless. I have always told myself that I would never become anyone's property, but now in a few weeks I will be the property of the state of Illinois.
One of my options is bootcamp. But if I don't complete bootcamp then I have to serve the entire sentence of 4 years to the day. Meaning I would not be released from prison until October 5th, 2010. But if I do complete prison bootcamp I would be released within 4 to 6 months. The bootcamp is military based but it takes place within a maximum security prison. I believe, for myself, this is the best choice. I lack structure and self discipline, and hopefully when I get out I will be a reformed Emily capable of doing things the right way.
On a better note, I plan on having a going away party sometime very soon. I will be at the Tina Sparkle show tomorrow at pizza works after I get off of work. I would love to see some old faces.
Oh yeha! something that I'm very happy about is that I'm still clean and sober! Going on a month now. This prison shit isn't worth using over, nothing ever is worth picking up a fucking drug again. Drugs got me to where I am today and they will continue to bring me down if I allow it. My name is Emily and I'm a fucking addict.........