Unhappiness
Tonight has again proven to me how volatile my temper currently is for the smallest, stupidest things. I stopped drinking for a reason, I was sure my temper wasn't the reason, but it certainly seems to fuel it. Maybe tonight has demonstrated that I shouldn't do it anymore.
Despite things seemingly going really well with work, home & DJ'ing, I somehow feel that things aren't right with me, but I have no answers as to why. I have everything people could wish for. Bright, happy kids, nice home, understanding wife, yet somehow within myself there rages something which just burns away at me & doesn't feel happy.
Tonight yet again, one person proved to be a big friend, even in the face of my intolerance. I know I have one other, at least I think so, but of the other people I know, I'm pretty sure I don't know who to count on & actually count as a friend.
They say you meet may people in your lifes pathway, but from this, only 2-3 of them will be true friends and the rest, aquaintances that pass in the night, maybe longer if your luck holds. I'm not comfortable with this alleged fact.
I've hit one of those times when I wish I wasn't here & I really really don't like it.