I'm a little drunk right now, and my internet connection says I'm not even connected, so please forgive me if this is a little disjointed
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Completely off topicredshoesonJanuary 23 2006, 01:01:54 UTC
I have a question for you. You're welcome to say no, btw. ^^ I'm finishing up a fic for the Coldest Month challenge: coldestmonth It's for QAF US, Mel/Linz, but the real reason I'm commenting here is to ask you if you'd mind taking a glance at it b/c it's set in Canada. I want to make sure I'm not too far out of bounds with my setting, only b/c I've never been to/researched Canada. I'd really love to get your opinion. ^^
Lemme know what you think; the fic is ready now and due this coming Sat, Jan. 28.
Re: Completely off topicsoleta_nfJanuary 23 2006, 01:10:40 UTC
Sure! I don't normally read fic, but I'll give it a go. :) I haven't seen much of QAF, so I can't comment much in that regard. How long is it? I am very busy right now, but things calm down a bit midweek.
Re: Completely off topicredshoesonJanuary 23 2006, 02:55:50 UTC
Icon love. ^^ No worries on lack of familiarity with QAF; I really just want an opinion on the Canada part. ^^ It's 1,500 words right now, but should be wrapped up before 2k. So you think you'll have time?
Re: Completely off topicsoleta_nfJanuary 29 2006, 03:18:01 UTC
My edits!
I suggest taking out "pure" in "The park is more crowded than Melanie thought it would be; there are children on everything, little black specks that look like ants against the pure whiteness of the snow." Reason: it's not needed, and snow here is rarely pure white unless it just snowed. It soon gets mucky and yellow and kinda grossish, to be honest. I love the days where it actually *is* fluffy and white. :)
One non-Canadian thing I'll say is that your tenses change a bit in the story. (I do the same thing, tenses are nasty buggers.) An example here: "Melanie shook her head. “He’s being Brian.” Gus makes it down the slide and runs back over to the ladder."
And that's it! Thanks for sharing. :) Too bad their experience of Canada was so cold and not much else. ;) Good luck with the contest!
Re: Completely off topicsoleta_nfJanuary 29 2006, 20:46:34 UTC
My edits were incredibly minor anyway. The story is really good. It would have helped if I knew who the characters were, of course, but it was an interesting piece. :) Good job!
Re: Completely off topicredshoesonJanuary 29 2006, 23:25:43 UTC
Thank you; I'm hoping this will help me to get my writing groove back on. I've missed it. Still looking forward to more travelogue, when you get a chance. ^^
Lemme know what you think; the fic is ready now and due this coming Sat, Jan. 28.
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P.S. THANK YOU!!
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I suggest taking out "pure" in "The park is more crowded than Melanie thought it would be; there are children on everything, little black specks that look like ants against the pure whiteness of the snow." Reason: it's not needed, and snow here is rarely pure white unless it just snowed. It soon gets mucky and yellow and kinda grossish, to be honest. I love the days where it actually *is* fluffy and white. :)
One non-Canadian thing I'll say is that your tenses change a bit in the story. (I do the same thing, tenses are nasty buggers.) An example here: "Melanie shook her head. “He’s being Brian.” Gus makes it down the slide and runs back over to the ladder."
And that's it! Thanks for sharing. :) Too bad their experience of Canada was so cold and not much else. ;) Good luck with the contest!
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