At what point did I dig this hole, and at what point did I lay in it?
My head is swirling in directions I can't even deal with. I'm always involving my sexual self with strangers because perhaps I believe if it doesn't work out that it will be easy to walk away from. Within the last year or so I've ventured into friends territory with involving myself with Chris...and now Artie. Problem with this...They will always be around. When things don't work out I'm not one to take things so well. I honestly believe I still have feelings for Chris...so having feelings for yet another friend makes things even harder. In this situation I feel trapped...It makes me want to run away. I worry about my motives. I'll feel fine in two days.