My WORST BOOKS OF ALL TIME list! (Other romance)
Here is my list of worst books ever read (romance other than paranormal romance which has its particular section), along with descriptions and venting by yours truly. Enjoy!
What is this world coming to? I think I'll shuffle off into a corner now to mourn the time I lost on this crap... Sob!!
(i) Shifting Plains, by Jean Johnson (fantasy, romance)
Book summary: Centuries before the time of the Sons of Destiny, a female shapeshifter became the leader of the people of the Shifting Plains… Tava Ell Var never really knew her mother, but she did know her tragic fate at the hands of a band of cruel shapeshifters-a history set down by Tava’s father as a warning about life on the Shifting Plains. But after her father is murdered, Tava encounters a Shifterai warband fighting to rid the Plains of the terrorizing bandits. Shifterai leader Kodan Sin Siin is sympathetic to Tava’s suffering, but he’s determined to bring the wary young woman to the Plains. Because he knows her secret: She, like he and his men, is a shapeshifter. Once she joins them, he knows that she will see for herself the true fate that awaits her on the Plains, and most of all, lose her fear of his people. And, in time, he knows she will find her place is in their fight-and by his side.
Here is a link to my review.
My comments: Do you like novels to have intricate, well-designed plots that keep you on the edge of your seat? Well, this one is the exact OPPOSITE of that. Exactly NOTHING happens in this novel, which is plagued by infodump after infodump. Read this if you want extra material to study after that final exam!
(ii) Heaven (Casteel #1), by V. C. Andrews (drama, romance)
Book summary: Of all the folks in the mountain shacks, the Casteels were the lowest-- the scum of the hills. Heaven Leigh Casteel was the prettiest, smartest girl in the backwoods, despite her ragged clothes and dirty face... despite a father meaner than ten vipers... despite her weary stepmother, who worked her like a mule. For her brother Tom and the little ones, Heaven clung to her pride and her hopes. Someday they'd get away and show the world that they were decent, fine and talented-- worthy of love and respect.
Then Heaven's stepmother ran off, and her wicked, greedy father had a scheme-- a vicious scheme that threatened to destroy the precious dream of Heaven and the children forever!
Here is a link to my review.
My comments: Easily one of the worst books I've ever had the misfortune of reading, this one has an additional disgusting element: the (ghost writer, because this may not have been written by V.C. Andrews herself) author apparently LOVES to describe incest/sexual abuse, because it's in there and oh-so lovingly detailed! Somehow, a whole group of people have made a WHOLE lot of money by continuing to publish crap under this author's name -because apparently wallowing and rolling around in sh*t sells. Good times, let me tell ya.
(iii) Lara (World of Heta #1), by Bertrice Small (romance, fantasy)
Book summary: For Lara, a half faerie, half human, her beauty is a blessing and a curse. Sold into a Pleasure House by her father, she commits herself to a lifetime of servitude. But even in a place where pleasure is not censured but encouraged, her otherworldly beauty proves too much for her suitors.When Lara escapes, she is introduced to a new way of life, and an incredible man who opens her eyes to the growing unrest among their people and the extraordinary destiny that awaits her. Lara will journey the depths of desire and despair to find a love that will last an eternitya love that will change Hetar forever.
Here is a link to my review.
My comments: Oh. My. God. A fantasy/romance mash-up where male equipment becomes manroots and the English language cries out in pain. Mary Sue -er, Lara, goes from one uninteresting 'adventure' to another, while banging one dude after another. Truly GODAWFUL crap of epic proportions.
(iv) Slave: The Cat Star Chronicles #1, by Cheryl Brooks (erotica, romance, science fiction)
Book summary: I found him in the slave market on Orpheseus Prime, and even on such a god-forsaken planet as that one, their treatment of him seemed extreme." He may be the last of a species whose sexual talents were the envy of the galaxy. Cat is an enslaved warrior from a race with a feline gene that gives him awesome beauty, fearsome strength, and sensuality and sexual prowess unmatched by any other males in the universe. Even filthy, chained, and beaten, he gives off an aura of power and virility and his feline gene gives him a special aura. Jacinth is an intergalactic trader on a rescue mission and she needs a man she can trust with her life. She has spent years pursuing her kidnapped sister from planet to planet. Now her quest leads her to a place where all the women are slaves. "Jack" needs a slave of her own-one who can masquerade as her master. Enmeshed in a tangle of deception, lust, and love, they must elude a race of violent killers and together forge a bond stronger than any chains.
Here is a link to my review. (TBA)
My comments: Yep, this is the book to read if you want to read about the last member of a super race... Super in terms of their genitalia, which are described ad nauseam. And no, I'm not kidding. This has actually been written and published. **As a final note and later addition to these comments, I will add that I have discovered that this is actually the first book in a series. Which IMHO proves that crap really can get published and even flourish.**
(v) Killashandra (Crystal Singer #2), by Anne McCaffrey (science fiction, romance)
Book summary: At first Killashandra Ree's ambitions to become a Crystal Singer, get rich, and forget her past, were going just as she had hoped. But after she grew wealthy, a devastating storm turned her claim to useless rock. In short order she was broke, she had crystal sickness so bad she thought she was going to die, and the only way she could be true to the man she loved was to leave him....
Here is a link to my review. (TBA)
My comments: Again, a sequel which manages to take everything which was fun in the first book in this series and wreck it.
(vi) The Thorn Birds, by Colleen McCullough (drama/fiction, romance)
Book summary: Powered by the dreams and struggles of three generations, THE THORN BIRDS is the epic saga of a family rooted in the Australian sheep country. At the story's heart is the love of Meggie Cleary, who can never possess the man she desperately adores, and Ralph de Bricassart, who rises from parish priest to the inner circles of the Vatican...but whose passion for Meggie will follow him all the days of his life.
Here is a link to my review. (TBA)
My comments: This review says it so much better than I ever could -it is the willful ignorance and racism of this work which disturbs me the most.
There may be more books posted to this list in future. Weep for the future, my friends!! Weep for it!!!
P.S.: I realize that my list may cause some raised eyebrows, or have people label me a pompous twit, as I do list (and savage) several works which are considered classics in the so-called 'canon' (more correctly referred to as the English language or even North American English language canon, IMHO, but that's a topic for another day). My response to that is that it is merely my personal opinion and yours may certainly differ -any pomposity is unintentional. :-)
I do however think that it is important to be open to new points of view as well as to critiques of such works, despite their lofty status to date: several such works are rife with racism, misogyny and other -isms which in my opinion rather obviate the need for their review and reinterpretation.
What is this world coming to? I think I'll shuffle off into a corner now to mourn the time I lost on this crap... Sob!!
(i) Shifting Plains, by Jean Johnson (fantasy, romance)
Book summary: Centuries before the time of the Sons of Destiny, a female shapeshifter became the leader of the people of the Shifting Plains… Tava Ell Var never really knew her mother, but she did know her tragic fate at the hands of a band of cruel shapeshifters-a history set down by Tava’s father as a warning about life on the Shifting Plains. But after her father is murdered, Tava encounters a Shifterai warband fighting to rid the Plains of the terrorizing bandits. Shifterai leader Kodan Sin Siin is sympathetic to Tava’s suffering, but he’s determined to bring the wary young woman to the Plains. Because he knows her secret: She, like he and his men, is a shapeshifter. Once she joins them, he knows that she will see for herself the true fate that awaits her on the Plains, and most of all, lose her fear of his people. And, in time, he knows she will find her place is in their fight-and by his side.
Here is a link to my review.
My comments: Do you like novels to have intricate, well-designed plots that keep you on the edge of your seat? Well, this one is the exact OPPOSITE of that. Exactly NOTHING happens in this novel, which is plagued by infodump after infodump. Read this if you want extra material to study after that final exam!
(ii) Heaven (Casteel #1), by V. C. Andrews (drama, romance)
Book summary: Of all the folks in the mountain shacks, the Casteels were the lowest-- the scum of the hills. Heaven Leigh Casteel was the prettiest, smartest girl in the backwoods, despite her ragged clothes and dirty face... despite a father meaner than ten vipers... despite her weary stepmother, who worked her like a mule. For her brother Tom and the little ones, Heaven clung to her pride and her hopes. Someday they'd get away and show the world that they were decent, fine and talented-- worthy of love and respect.
Then Heaven's stepmother ran off, and her wicked, greedy father had a scheme-- a vicious scheme that threatened to destroy the precious dream of Heaven and the children forever!
Here is a link to my review.
My comments: Easily one of the worst books I've ever had the misfortune of reading, this one has an additional disgusting element: the (ghost writer, because this may not have been written by V.C. Andrews herself) author apparently LOVES to describe incest/sexual abuse, because it's in there and oh-so lovingly detailed! Somehow, a whole group of people have made a WHOLE lot of money by continuing to publish crap under this author's name -because apparently wallowing and rolling around in sh*t sells. Good times, let me tell ya.
(iii) Lara (World of Heta #1), by Bertrice Small (romance, fantasy)
Book summary: For Lara, a half faerie, half human, her beauty is a blessing and a curse. Sold into a Pleasure House by her father, she commits herself to a lifetime of servitude. But even in a place where pleasure is not censured but encouraged, her otherworldly beauty proves too much for her suitors.When Lara escapes, she is introduced to a new way of life, and an incredible man who opens her eyes to the growing unrest among their people and the extraordinary destiny that awaits her. Lara will journey the depths of desire and despair to find a love that will last an eternitya love that will change Hetar forever.
Here is a link to my review.
My comments: Oh. My. God. A fantasy/romance mash-up where male equipment becomes manroots and the English language cries out in pain. Mary Sue -er, Lara, goes from one uninteresting 'adventure' to another, while banging one dude after another. Truly GODAWFUL crap of epic proportions.
(iv) Slave: The Cat Star Chronicles #1, by Cheryl Brooks (erotica, romance, science fiction)
Book summary: I found him in the slave market on Orpheseus Prime, and even on such a god-forsaken planet as that one, their treatment of him seemed extreme." He may be the last of a species whose sexual talents were the envy of the galaxy. Cat is an enslaved warrior from a race with a feline gene that gives him awesome beauty, fearsome strength, and sensuality and sexual prowess unmatched by any other males in the universe. Even filthy, chained, and beaten, he gives off an aura of power and virility and his feline gene gives him a special aura. Jacinth is an intergalactic trader on a rescue mission and she needs a man she can trust with her life. She has spent years pursuing her kidnapped sister from planet to planet. Now her quest leads her to a place where all the women are slaves. "Jack" needs a slave of her own-one who can masquerade as her master. Enmeshed in a tangle of deception, lust, and love, they must elude a race of violent killers and together forge a bond stronger than any chains.
Here is a link to my review. (TBA)
My comments: Yep, this is the book to read if you want to read about the last member of a super race... Super in terms of their genitalia, which are described ad nauseam. And no, I'm not kidding. This has actually been written and published. **As a final note and later addition to these comments, I will add that I have discovered that this is actually the first book in a series. Which IMHO proves that crap really can get published and even flourish.**
(v) Killashandra (Crystal Singer #2), by Anne McCaffrey (science fiction, romance)
Book summary: At first Killashandra Ree's ambitions to become a Crystal Singer, get rich, and forget her past, were going just as she had hoped. But after she grew wealthy, a devastating storm turned her claim to useless rock. In short order she was broke, she had crystal sickness so bad she thought she was going to die, and the only way she could be true to the man she loved was to leave him....
Here is a link to my review. (TBA)
My comments: Again, a sequel which manages to take everything which was fun in the first book in this series and wreck it.
(vi) The Thorn Birds, by Colleen McCullough (drama/fiction, romance)
Book summary: Powered by the dreams and struggles of three generations, THE THORN BIRDS is the epic saga of a family rooted in the Australian sheep country. At the story's heart is the love of Meggie Cleary, who can never possess the man she desperately adores, and Ralph de Bricassart, who rises from parish priest to the inner circles of the Vatican...but whose passion for Meggie will follow him all the days of his life.
Here is a link to my review. (TBA)
My comments: This review says it so much better than I ever could -it is the willful ignorance and racism of this work which disturbs me the most.
There may be more books posted to this list in future. Weep for the future, my friends!! Weep for it!!!
P.S.: I realize that my list may cause some raised eyebrows, or have people label me a pompous twit, as I do list (and savage) several works which are considered classics in the so-called 'canon' (more correctly referred to as the English language or even North American English language canon, IMHO, but that's a topic for another day). My response to that is that it is merely my personal opinion and yours may certainly differ -any pomposity is unintentional. :-)
I do however think that it is important to be open to new points of view as well as to critiques of such works, despite their lofty status to date: several such works are rife with racism, misogyny and other -isms which in my opinion rather obviate the need for their review and reinterpretation.