(no subject)
On writing, because it's worth sharing and the closest I'll get to post my original porn public
Matt and Scandal want me to freewrite again, but I've politely asked them to go back on vacation for the evening. In the meantime, the urge to frrewrite about Larissa and Ed made me think about my adventures in writing got me to contemplating how I write male and female characters. Looking at all my finished fiction works, it's clear that I excel in writing strong female leads. Sometimes, they're too strong for their own good and struggle to win battles against my other strong character type: men of questionable morals. I guess the question is why do I keep writing these types characters? Why can't I write strong male leads and women with questionable morals? I think multiple factors are at play here, but I'm going to only discuss the two I feel are most relevant.
The first is that ultimately, I don't intimately know how men think and process emotion. Women in general like to think they know how men think/process, but that's bullshit. We all know that. We cannot simplify the thought/emotive processes of either gender, but it seems easier to do for men. With women, there's more overt discussion about how they think and feel. However, the male psyche is still shrouded in some degree of mystery. I have to say, I think men possess greater emotional diversity than women. Why do I say that? I've met men that are quite emotive, some that are ultra stoic and plenty in between. Meanwhile, I've never met a stoic woman in my entire life. By the same token, the women I often meet are overemotive and express little in the way of emotional nuance. Knowing that I can be overemotive myself, I am of the belief that women has evolved to be very outwardly emotional for family raising reasons. That said, evolution bugs me. Why? Well, I feel that characters with questionable morals are better written when they're stoic by nature. Otherwise, they can come across as opportunistic, sleazy, unsympathetic or any combination of those traits. Since writing a female character that is naturally stoic is a next-to-impossible feat, a woman with questionable morals ends up a caricature of either Heidi Fleiss or Hillary Clinton (or even some ungodly combination of the two).On the flip side, since men have a wider range over the emotional spectrum, they can be written as strong, questionable and even weak. There's more to work with on an emotional level when it comes to men, at least from my experience. If more people were aware of the emotional variety of men, I think the discussion of human emotions would be way different. Right now, I think the ladies have a monopoly on the emotion discussion, partly because of how they see men (especially when they're in their 20s). Okay, that could be my inner mysogynist coming out to play, but I still think my theory has some basis in reality. Then again, I've always had a tendency to pal around with guys. I've been able to do that since pre-school.While I know I didn't intentionally charm them, I could just have a personality that coaxes males into dropping emotional fronts on some level. Thus, I've been able to see a variety of male psyches.
The second factor is I'm kind of emotionally wacky. This will require a little bit of a backstory. When I was a toddler, it was believed that I was autistic due to my delayed communicative skills (speaking, socializing, etc.). While it took me a while to get to talking, I soon developed the Gemini gift of gab (as in I don't shut up). However, I still ended up aloof in regards to relating to other people on an emotional level. I think emotional responses are developed by a child's immediate family members. I was one of those few people that was raised in a nuclear-type family. That said, I did not witness much in the way of conflict in my home or in my grandparents' homes. When there was conflict, the women tended to react strongly in a verbal manner while the guys tried to step away from the situation. As a result, I tend to get pissed about things beyond my control.
It's also lead to me not overtly expressing emotional closeness to most people. The two definite exceptions are mi amor and Poner. While I do love my parents, I don't feel quite the same bond where I'm really comfortable expressing myself with them. Instead, I end up following their leads in times of trouble: putting on a game face to resolve the issue. When all is said and done, I'm actually quite aloof. I'm not one to be overly sympathetic, so I do have a tough time navigating situations where people I know (but aren't that close to) are experiencing some sort of loss. This underdeveloped sense of empathy bleeds into my writing, making it hard for me to write a variety of emotional responses. I tend to develop characters that are very analytical in all aspects of their lives, and this particularly comes into play for emotions. When overwhelmed, they tend to work through their woes with analysis in order to avoid the emotional meltdown that occurs when they realize they just don't know what to do. So I end up writing strong females and questionable males because they're both in emotional situations where analysis would be the official M.O.
On that note, when I revisit Larissa and Ed, expect a more emotional story, because I'm kind of not that great at writing porn erotica.
...and sure to burn.
Matt and Scandal want me to freewrite again, but I've politely asked them to go back on vacation for the evening. In the meantime, the urge to frrewrite about Larissa and Ed made me think about my adventures in writing got me to contemplating how I write male and female characters. Looking at all my finished fiction works, it's clear that I excel in writing strong female leads. Sometimes, they're too strong for their own good and struggle to win battles against my other strong character type: men of questionable morals. I guess the question is why do I keep writing these types characters? Why can't I write strong male leads and women with questionable morals? I think multiple factors are at play here, but I'm going to only discuss the two I feel are most relevant.
The first is that ultimately, I don't intimately know how men think and process emotion. Women in general like to think they know how men think/process, but that's bullshit. We all know that. We cannot simplify the thought/emotive processes of either gender, but it seems easier to do for men. With women, there's more overt discussion about how they think and feel. However, the male psyche is still shrouded in some degree of mystery. I have to say, I think men possess greater emotional diversity than women. Why do I say that? I've met men that are quite emotive, some that are ultra stoic and plenty in between. Meanwhile, I've never met a stoic woman in my entire life. By the same token, the women I often meet are overemotive and express little in the way of emotional nuance. Knowing that I can be overemotive myself, I am of the belief that women has evolved to be very outwardly emotional for family raising reasons. That said, evolution bugs me. Why? Well, I feel that characters with questionable morals are better written when they're stoic by nature. Otherwise, they can come across as opportunistic, sleazy, unsympathetic or any combination of those traits. Since writing a female character that is naturally stoic is a next-to-impossible feat, a woman with questionable morals ends up a caricature of either Heidi Fleiss or Hillary Clinton (or even some ungodly combination of the two).On the flip side, since men have a wider range over the emotional spectrum, they can be written as strong, questionable and even weak. There's more to work with on an emotional level when it comes to men, at least from my experience. If more people were aware of the emotional variety of men, I think the discussion of human emotions would be way different. Right now, I think the ladies have a monopoly on the emotion discussion, partly because of how they see men (especially when they're in their 20s). Okay, that could be my inner mysogynist coming out to play, but I still think my theory has some basis in reality. Then again, I've always had a tendency to pal around with guys. I've been able to do that since pre-school.While I know I didn't intentionally charm them, I could just have a personality that coaxes males into dropping emotional fronts on some level. Thus, I've been able to see a variety of male psyches.
The second factor is I'm kind of emotionally wacky. This will require a little bit of a backstory. When I was a toddler, it was believed that I was autistic due to my delayed communicative skills (speaking, socializing, etc.). While it took me a while to get to talking, I soon developed the Gemini gift of gab (as in I don't shut up). However, I still ended up aloof in regards to relating to other people on an emotional level. I think emotional responses are developed by a child's immediate family members. I was one of those few people that was raised in a nuclear-type family. That said, I did not witness much in the way of conflict in my home or in my grandparents' homes. When there was conflict, the women tended to react strongly in a verbal manner while the guys tried to step away from the situation. As a result, I tend to get pissed about things beyond my control.
It's also lead to me not overtly expressing emotional closeness to most people. The two definite exceptions are mi amor and Poner. While I do love my parents, I don't feel quite the same bond where I'm really comfortable expressing myself with them. Instead, I end up following their leads in times of trouble: putting on a game face to resolve the issue. When all is said and done, I'm actually quite aloof. I'm not one to be overly sympathetic, so I do have a tough time navigating situations where people I know (but aren't that close to) are experiencing some sort of loss. This underdeveloped sense of empathy bleeds into my writing, making it hard for me to write a variety of emotional responses. I tend to develop characters that are very analytical in all aspects of their lives, and this particularly comes into play for emotions. When overwhelmed, they tend to work through their woes with analysis in order to avoid the emotional meltdown that occurs when they realize they just don't know what to do. So I end up writing strong females and questionable males because they're both in emotional situations where analysis would be the official M.O.
On that note, when I revisit Larissa and Ed, expect a more emotional story, because I'm kind of not that great at writing porn erotica.
...and sure to burn.