Sent Sunday morning, bleary-eyed but showered...

[soldtoarmenians]

To: willow.rosenberg@hogwarts.ac.uk
From: xander.harris@fandomhigh.ednet
Subject: Stuff You Should Know About Fandom Before You Get Here

1. If Bridge offers you the Black Evil From Space, do NOT drink it. He may call it vodka, but it is not. Ow.
   
   
2. Also, don't eat the Snickerdoodles. Just in case.
   
   
3. The wand-enhancement stuff got used to great effect, but Skeeter's still on the loose. She turned me into a newt*. And after I turned in the Best Paper Ever, too. ...Well, okay, and tried to convince her that I'd been in her class all semester, and made out with my boyfriend in front of her to prove I was actually somebody else making out with his boyfriend. ...Our school is... complicated.
   
   
4. She did give me an O+ (that's good, right?) for the class I'm not actually in, though, so possibly her complete insanity isn't a total loss.
   
   
5. Angel's bed is very bouncy.
   
   
6. So is his girlfriend. You'd like her, possibly - she threatens people with painful implements too. Granted it was me she threatened, but understandable under the circumstances.
   
   
7. The Black Evil From Space? Just thought I'd mention that again. For emphasis. Especially never play drinking games when it is the nearest form of "alcohol."
   
   
8. Avoid Locker 327.
   
   
9. Yes, the Mountie is hot. Try not to stare too much.
   
   
10. Any parties we might end up attending this weekend? Are NOT the one John Crichton is talking about. Do not ask. I beg of you.
    
    
11. Do not get between Rory and coffee. I have a fondness for it; she has a disease.
    
    
12. Speaking of diseases, I was serious about Parker. Stay away. She has leprosy. And...and... the plague.
    
    
13. I'm going camping tonight, so I'm not sure when exactly in the morning we'll hit school again. If I'm not there when you come through, drop a text to Bridge's phone, and I'll come find you.
    
    
14. Isabel will probably be around in room 406, if you want to say hi to the froggie while you wait. She doesn't drink, so unlike me, she's not currently cradling her head and wondering where the hell she put the aspirin.
    
    
15. No making out with Marty is not actually just a rule for me and Bridge; he has a girlfriend.
    
    

love,
Xander

P.S. *Yes, clearly, I got better. But then there was the slight case of nudity, so I'm still not sure how great the tradeoff was.

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{Willow's not really dropping unannounced into 406, le roomie; the info's just in there because logically he'd tell her so.}