September 17th, 2006, world without a Sunnydale (but with shrimp)
[havetoolswilltravel has logged on]
[notthewatcher has logged on]
notthewatcher: *pokes you*
havetoolswilltravel: Dawn! I'm in McDonalds! In Akron. They have wifi, and I'm not asking why. ....fi
notthewatcher: Yay, Akron! Does this mean you're going to be around for a while?
havetoolswilltravel: Well, not in Akron. I'm finishing up a repair job on a bar that somebody whose name starts with V and ends with i smashed up a couple weeks ago, and then I'm outta here.
notthewatcher: She's really, *really* sorry about that. She said she slipped.
havetoolswilltravel: And bounced off the moose antlers hanging over the bar and landed on the jukebox?
notthewatcher: ...yes?
havetoolswilltravel: Totally plausible.
havetoolswilltravel: So what're you doing up at the ungodly hour of oh wait you're in college nevermind?
notthewatcher: Studying! Yes, totally studying. And maybe pining away for a certain Xander-type person who hasn't been here for a visit in forever.
havetoolswilltravel: What was that? I couldn't hear you. A flock of seagulls just flew over the roof and they were all yelling out something that sounded like "Guilt! Guilt! Guilt!"
notthewatcher: If you weren't so awesome, I wouldn't miss you so much.
havetoolswilltravel: Willow totally trained you in this, didn't she.
notthewatcher: There may have been a discussion. She says you should call, by the way.
havetoolswilltravel: :-P I just called her on Monday OMG. And yes, I'm coming to see you and Buffy after this job. I was thinking sometime late this week.
notthewatcher: Yay! What are you doing after that?
havetoolswilltravel: There's a girl in ......Mozambique? No, Montreal. You know, one of those M names. I'm supposed to meet with her and her folks on the 26th.
notthewatcher: *snickering* You really should figure out what continent you need to be on, Xander. And whether you need a winter coat.
havetoolswilltravel: It's September! I don't need a winter coat unless I'm going to Antarctica. ....crap, am I going to Antarctica soon?
havetoolswilltravel: *checks scheduler*
notthewatcher: We have penguin slayers now?
havetoolswilltravel: There could be evil penguins!
notthewatcher: *is now imagining small penguins in game face and black leather coats*
havetoolswilltravel: *is too* And dammit, they're cute.
havetoolswilltravel: That's how they GET YOU. With the evil cuteness.
notthewatcher: I think you'd have to ask Buffy about that.
havetoolswilltravel: ........yeah, no.
havetoolswilltravel: Also plz remember who you're talking to here - have I *ever* dated a girl who didn't try to kill me at one point or another?
notthewatcher: Um...*thinks* What about that Anya girl you took to the pr...oh! Cordelia!
havetoolswilltravel: Nope. She was possessed by that bezoar thing, Junior year. Oh wait, there was Cally - she might've blown me up if she'd clipped the wrong wire once, but she never intentionally tried to kill me.
notthewatcher: Huh. Wow. You should have to wear a helmet when you date. Or just stick to boys.
havetoolswilltravel: There are so many places I could go with either of those statements that I'm not gonna.
notthewatcher: I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
havetoolswilltravel: Good!
notthewatcher: *pouts*
havetoolswilltravel: :-P Fine, but remember, if your sister asks, you were already corrupted when we got you:
havetoolswilltravel: If you put the helmet on right, you don't stick to the boys.
notthewatcher: *giggling* And I so wasn't corrupted already. Made by monks, omg!
havetoolswilltravel: Lonely, celibate minks, yes.
havetoolswilltravel: ...MONKS WTF
notthewatcher: *pages Dr. Freud*
havetoolswilltravel: I don't want to know what 'mink' is sposed to be a freudian slip for. Clearly your brain is dirtier than mine. I rest my case!
havetoolswilltravel: Though there was this thing about ferretsex one time. But it was a complete misunderstanding.
notthewatcher: How can you have a misunderstanding about ferretsex? I'd think the ferrets kinda have the hang of that by now.
havetoolswilltravel: I got an offer for some, from a non-ferret. Except it wasn't really for me.
notthewatcher: ...you still have the best stories.
havetoolswilltravel: Which funny, at the time I was kind of hoping if I pounded my head against the desk hard enough I could kill enough braincells to wipe that one from my memory
notthewatcher: I'm glad it didn't get wiped, even if it did make your head hurt.
havetoolswilltravel: Scarily enough, me too. Though possibly I could live with not remembering the time I accidentally groped the very straight ferretsex guy while making out on the couch.
havetoolswilltravel: ...not with the ferretsex guy.
notthewatcher: You were making out with someone and groped someone else! Xander! I'm shocked! If I had glasses, I'd be polishing them right this second.
havetoolswilltravel: It was a crowded couch!
notthewatcher: Uh huh.
havetoolswilltravel: It was in *no* way orgylike!
notthewatcher: Except for the groping and the making out.
havetoolswilltravel: SO HOW'S COLLEGE THEN?
notthewatcher: Fine. Very collegey.
havetoolswilltravel: In other words much with the groping and making out.
notthewatcher: No. Darn it.
notthewatcher: Apparently I *intimidate* boys.
havetoolswilltravel: Good. You do know you're supposed to keep the stake in your pocket where they can't see it until they make a wrong move, right?
notthewatcher: *is confused* I thought they were the ones with the stakes? Did I miss a health class?
havetoolswilltravel: ...you're not taking *real* stakes on your dates too? Where the hell did we go wonrg?
notthewatcher: Oh, *those*. Yeah, of course I have those. I usually keep one in my purse, one in my pocket, and chopsticks in my hair.
notthewatcher: ...this is what they're talking about, isn't it?
havetoolswilltravel: Possibly yes. Or maybe it's the fact that you can translate Sanskrit?
notthewatcher: Contrary to Andrew's opinion, they don't write rituals in Tev'Meckian. What was I supposed to do?
havetoolswilltravel: Be smart and intimidating and wait for the guy to show up who thinks that's awesome, because the rest aren't good enough for you anyway.
notthewatcher: But that's so *boring*, Xander. And there's a lot less kissing that way.
havetoolswilltravel: Be smart and intimidating and kiss a lot of guys who aren't good enough for you? It worked for Buffy.
havetoolswilltravel: ...I so didn't say that
notthewatcher: *is dead* If you stay for an extra day, I promise not to tell Buffy.
havetoolswilltravel: You are conniving and evil. Which would totally make you my type if you weren't twenty years younger than me.
notthewatcher: OMG, it's only six! *beats old crush into submission* Er, I mean...oh, heck.
havetoolswilltravel: Dunno who this old crush is, but I hope he doesn't have too many bruises. You're an intimidating chick. *nods*
notthewatcher: He recovers quickly. And it sounds better when you say it.
*short pause*
havetoolswilltravel:Sorry, went up to the counter for coffee. Which... tastes funny. Machine was making weird noises too. Really hope it's not those little Ratzitk Demons that place in Topeka had. I was picking coffee grounds out of my hair for *days*.
notthewatcher: *giggling* Did it go wheeeeEEEeeEEEEeeee?
havetoolswilltravel: ......no. Kind of chunka chunka doink doink. As you do.
havetoolswilltravel: WheeeEEeeeEEEeee?
notthewatcher: WheeeEEeeeEEEeee.
notthewatcher: In your hair? Really?
havetoolswilltravel: They go kinda crazy when you try to get them out of the brew-pot. Kind of like weasels in a kjhskdjhk WTF? *watches*
*long pause*
*long, long, long pause, in fact*
notthewatcher: Helloooooooo?
notthewatcher: Have I killed you with singing percolators?
notthewatcher: I'll tell Angel you want his body...
havetoolswilltravel: .....so did you know that boom-chika-chik-a-chi-boom is Fffnerfian for 'I know where your mom slept last night and it wasn't under the overpass like she said?'
notthewatcher: You never cease to amaze me. :D
havetoolswilltravel: Me? I didn't even know there were Fffnerians in Ohio. ...much less hiding in the coffee machine.
havetoolswilltravel: *sighs, picks grounds out of hair*
havetoolswilltravel: And pockets.
havetoolswilltravel: And shoes.
notthewatcher: I'm sorry...*snickering* No, really. Need a comb?
havetoolswilltravel: Possibly a shower, instead.
havetoolswilltravel: Also possibly I should walk out before the manager throws me out.
notthewatcher: You're leaving me? *sniffle*
havetoolswilltravel: But you'll be with me in spirit, since I'll be singing man oh man what's that guy got in his hand, it's an egg it's a spoon it's a skdjhaslkdhaslkjdhlskdjhklash for the next six hours. *shakes fist*
notthewatcher: *looks innocent*
havetoolswilltravel: *knows better*
havetoolswilltravel: *flees wrath of McManager*
notthewatcher: Bye! See you soon or risk the wrath of me!
[havetoolswilltravel has logged off]
[Preplayed with lilpunkinbelly; underpass stolen from mparkerceo. *blames krycekrat and fh_anonymous for wheeEEEeeeeee* OOC quite welcome. ]