More E-mails in bottles (11/28/2000 to 12/25/2000)
From: xharris@ucsd.edu
- To: bridge.carson, m.parker, isabel.evans, willow.rosenberg, dawn.summers /// @fandomhigh.net
Date: November 28th, 2000
Subject: Aliens
I like the ones at our school better. I'm just sayin'. Big chunk of space rock. Thing that likes to suck crazy people's brains out. Psych ward at hospital. In conclusion, eww. I saved you a piece of the meteor, though, Isabel. Don't know if I'll see you again to give it to you, but seemed like something you could add to your collection, even if it's not from Roswell.
Miss you guys.
love, Xander
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To: bridge.carson@fandomhigh.net
Date: November 29th, 2000
Subject: Hey
It's my birthday. Feels weird *sending* an e-mail to say that, but I'm sure I'd be getting one if you could get through, so... I just wanted to talk to you today; we've never spent a real birthday together, so I'm pretending a little. Call it my present to me. 20 - I finally don't get to say I'm a teenager anymore. Or don't have to. Or something. If I was still there I guess it would officially make me a dirty old man, huh. ;-)
Things got a little nuts tonight. Joyce was in the hospital for another followup CAT scan yesterday when the alien thing was there, and the crazy people all freaked out at Dawn for some reason; it's like they could tell. So she knew *something* was up, and then she overheard us arguing about telling her, and put things together. Let's just say she put the psych ward to shame in the freaking out department.
We found her and calmed her down, but it kind of killed the party atmosphere. Buffy says I must've caught her birthday curse - usually she's the one who gets all the hellmouth drama.
It's fine, though. I'm good, we're all good. Trying to balance work, vampires, school, friends, things I'm supposed to remember but don't, and hiding Dawn from a crazy hellgod - thank you Wesley Wyndam-Pryce and believe me I never thought I'd be saying *those* words - is a funky definition of good, but it's the kind I'm used to.
Still miss you, but that's getting better too. Not that I miss you any *less* - I'm just getting better at being okay with it.
love, Xander
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To: bridge.carson@fandomhigh.net
Date: December 6th, 2000
Subject: Happy Birthday
Call me a weirdo {*pauses so you can do that*}, but I've got a present for you. Sort of. I didn't go out and buy one; that would've been a couple too many steps backwards into the land of Xander Is Special And We Don't Talk Loud Or Move Fast Around Him Shh. But I started working on it back when we still thought I'd be there by Homecoming, and it didn't seem right to stop til it was done, somehow.
It's a workbench - I was thinking you needed something for your projects to stop... okay slow *down* the creeping takeover of your room. Plus it's got drawers and vice-grip holes and mitre joints and...Hi, I'm Xander. Have we met? I'm kind of a geek. And this carpentry thing is pretty awesome once you stop hitting your thumb with the hammer quite so much. And by you I mean me, and by quite so much I mean it's totally down to less than once a week now.
If I get to see you again, it's yours. Until then, I guess I'll take care of it for you. And by take care of it I mean yes it's pretty much covered with wingnuts and sawdust right now; I've got a final project due in architectural modeling.
love, Xander
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To: bridge.carson, callisto, m.parker, isabel.evans, willow.rosenberg, dawn.summers, alanna.trebond, aeryn.sun, samuel.anders, rory.gilmore, john.crichton, d'anna.biers, angela.chase, martin.blank, veruca.cally, samantha.carter, nadia.santos, alex.krycek, jake.gavin, peter.pevensie, peter.parker, skankzero.hopelesssavage, jenny.calendar, jaye.tyler /// @fandomhigh.net, veronica.mars@hearst.edu
Date: December 25th, 2000
Subject: Merry Stuffs
Happymerrypeacefulzombiefree Chrismakuhsticearoni - does that cover everybody? And I figure if I'm throwing bottles of e-mail out into the internets it's just as likely they'll make it to ancient Greece as it is that they'll hit Fandom, so Cal, if you're reading this, happy whatever the hell you guys celebrate in December too. Happy Anniversary-of-the-Strip-Triad-Game-I'm-Kinda-Sorry-I-Missed, maybe.
Willow says hi me and hi Bridge, and then she kind of shakes her head a little bit because she's still on the Oh Xander train and thinks I don't get how unlikely it is that you guys will ever see this. I do, though. Some things are just worth saying anyway, you know?
Like I passed my first semester of classes. It was touch and go for a while, but I am an actual bonafide college guy, as opposed to an actual bonafide flunkedoutofcollege guy. An actual bonafide college guy with his first actual bonafide car, too, even if it's an actual bonafide POS. And everybody here is alive and ...about as safe as you ever get in Sunnydale. (Dawn, there's a maybe on the Thing; they can't tell yet but they're checking again next week.)
Except now I ran out of news that's fit to print and doesn't involve other people's sekrits. That's one of the drawbacks about the whole never hearing back thing, aside from the obvious - all I can do is talk about me.
So instead I'll make stuff up about you guys. If I don't hear back from you I'll just assume I was right.
Let's see, it's December, so you've already had at least one invasion. This time it was MIMES. Marty, Peter Parker, Greg, Cally and Belthazor all got taken over and formed a troupe, roaming the dorms and annoying...I mean scaring the crap out of everybody who set foot in the hallways. The evil mimes were foiled when John, Sam, Nadia and Bridge joined together and built a giant invisible box around them (that dispenses cotton candy when they bang on the walls to be let out), and all the students went back to...as normal as they ever were. The mimes are still there, but no one cares because you all threw a sheet over the box and went on with your lives.
Veronica, Cal, Angel and Logan all came back for Homecoming. Angel's hair looked stupid. This is not actually news. Greg gave him a makeover, though. It still looks stupid (not Greg's fault; you can only work with what you're given), but it's taller now.
D'anna turned into a frog for a while, and had a wild fling with Jeremiah, but they broke it off even before D got turned back due to irreconcilable Vanessa Saturn shipping preferences. The Perk closed down and was replaced by a fancy mineral water store. Rory and Jake sat on the sidewalk in front of it every day for a week and LOOKED SAD AND WOEFUL at everybody who went in or out until they gave up and turned it back into a coffee shop. In not unrelated news, Krycek had a minor nervous breakdown during this period, but he's better now. He only twitches uncontrollably if you mention Evian around him.
Alanna dyed her hair black and took up smoking clove cigarettes and wearing a beret. Faithful laughed so hard he completely lost his voice, which is exactly why she did it. He was grumpy once he figured that out, but Willow and Anders cheered him up with catnip-laced cookies.
Angela dyed her hair black and took up smoking clove cigarettes and wearing a beret too, but it was a philosophical statement. Which didn't stop Faithful from laughing at her too.
Dean the Tick was seen wearing jeans and a t-shirt, which made everybody (except people from Sunnydale) wonder if the apocalypse was nigh, but no, the laundry machines were just on strike again so he couldn't wash his tights. The randomly-disappearing clothes thing happened again too, but this time it was even taking people's underwear. Jaye skipped classes to follow Constable Fraser around all week. Nobody knows for sure what happened but she was back in class on Monday and she WON'T STOP SMILING.
How'd I do?
love,
Xander