Procrastination kills and waiting sucks!
Procrastination is the one think about my self that scares me. Some how I can pull it off but I always flip out about everything else around me. So I went though with the surgery and it really wasn’t that bad it just am sick of surgery. I fucking hate Pre-op because it scares the liven shit out of me and I found out after it was all said and done I needed to do this a lot sooner or it could have been really bad.
Also yesterday my 15 year old cat got attacked by my 3 legged dog. Lets get this right the dog who was gonna die last week with 13% red blood count is now able to fit my cats head in her mouth. Its really hard to discipline a dog who not only has 3 legs, holes in her ear and neck but also one who is so sweet about everything else other then when it comes to other animals… Sorta now explains why she was at the shelter and now why she lost a leg. I don’t think she will come out of it all the way but I did make sure she understood I would beat the she out of her if I wasn’t trying to save the cat. She got put in a crate while thumper sat in my lap on the way to the vet dien. The thing is he has heart disease, kidney disease and colon cancer. All of which we sorta knew but didn’t know how bad. The dog didn’t hurt him at all really just made everything a little worse and the vet said if the dog meant to kill him she would of. So thumper is back at home just chilling and when it day comes he’ll get put down is all there is to it. The best part about the say is Lanstion was like is there anything else you need as he walked into the office. I was like yeah cinnamon. So with a straight face! He was like oh ok. Walks in there like do we have their dog here somewhere. No one said a word. I was like shes in a box he was then thinking it was a cat. Then one of the girls goes Adam that’s the dog you put down last week. He was like OH I knew it was a dog. We had her cremated because well we can I guess. I was great, I love that guy so much just because hes such a great guy. MAIN reason im going to vet school… To find a husband!!! But he leaves in a few weeks so that sucks ass.
Other news I hate waiting on guys. I really don’t see the point. Right now I think all I want is a weekend boyfriend. That’s really all I kinda need right? So if this whole going to eku thing works out then im great. I have way to much going on during the week so if I had to I could make it down there for a night but it would be so much more worth it to just wait till a weekend. I also have a friends apartment who I could always stay with it worse came to worse. But I get enough space to where I can still be me. I mean at that point im not really asking for commitment really unless the guy was so worth it. Its kinda sad I find a guy who I really like a lot just because hes not my norm and I feel I have no chance. I so was the little whore back in the day that hell would take you boyfriend just because I could if you pissed me off. I mean its true I was a tease but I never gave a shit about those guys ever. I even tried to care and just knowing they left their girlfriends made it like ok your gonna leave me so ill leave you first. NOW its like I meet a guy and I don’t flaunt what I got and hide from who I am because first off how the hell are they single if the are that good of a guy. Well I figured it out the other night its because some guys get to the point where they don’t want whores anymore and they have high standards. I was like wow that’s why im single and love it for the most part. So I ask joe if I have a chance with this guy and he was like why wouldn’t you. I gave him a list of bs answers and he laughed and was like if I thought I had a chance I would go after you. I was in shock. Then he goes to explain that I would end up breaking his heart because im everything he wants in a wife. At that point I wanted to cry because im so fucking hormonal but he was like being honest. I wouldn’t of ever guessed because the type of girls he goes after arnt anything like me, sorta the same with this other guy so maybe I don’t really know I have a chance when I do. Ill see how it plays out its just I feel like that little girl I once was but all grown up. Its funny because guys have no idea who I once was. I look back at that now and think I was a lot better when in truth I just played the game with no emotions because it hurt.
Its interesting to look back on past guys 2 are married, 3 are around but have changes so much that I stay away and 1 of them has become someone I can go to. For me to be able to go to lee about other guys is so weird for me because the way I feel about this one kid right now is a lot of how I felt about lee. I don’t know how it changed so much when only months ago I was to be going down there and he was to be up here next weekend. I mean the north American is all we looked forward to for a long while and now its like we are friends but its really not even that. I miss him and wanna go back to haven it bad for him because he could make everything better but now I know that it can all faded away with time and distance. Im scared whats to come with other guys. Well I guess im back to waiting. Its less then a week that megan will be home and we’ll be down at eku and ill know if I have a chance and if its worth it.
Also yesterday my 15 year old cat got attacked by my 3 legged dog. Lets get this right the dog who was gonna die last week with 13% red blood count is now able to fit my cats head in her mouth. Its really hard to discipline a dog who not only has 3 legs, holes in her ear and neck but also one who is so sweet about everything else other then when it comes to other animals… Sorta now explains why she was at the shelter and now why she lost a leg. I don’t think she will come out of it all the way but I did make sure she understood I would beat the she out of her if I wasn’t trying to save the cat. She got put in a crate while thumper sat in my lap on the way to the vet dien. The thing is he has heart disease, kidney disease and colon cancer. All of which we sorta knew but didn’t know how bad. The dog didn’t hurt him at all really just made everything a little worse and the vet said if the dog meant to kill him she would of. So thumper is back at home just chilling and when it day comes he’ll get put down is all there is to it. The best part about the say is Lanstion was like is there anything else you need as he walked into the office. I was like yeah cinnamon. So with a straight face! He was like oh ok. Walks in there like do we have their dog here somewhere. No one said a word. I was like shes in a box he was then thinking it was a cat. Then one of the girls goes Adam that’s the dog you put down last week. He was like OH I knew it was a dog. We had her cremated because well we can I guess. I was great, I love that guy so much just because hes such a great guy. MAIN reason im going to vet school… To find a husband!!! But he leaves in a few weeks so that sucks ass.
Other news I hate waiting on guys. I really don’t see the point. Right now I think all I want is a weekend boyfriend. That’s really all I kinda need right? So if this whole going to eku thing works out then im great. I have way to much going on during the week so if I had to I could make it down there for a night but it would be so much more worth it to just wait till a weekend. I also have a friends apartment who I could always stay with it worse came to worse. But I get enough space to where I can still be me. I mean at that point im not really asking for commitment really unless the guy was so worth it. Its kinda sad I find a guy who I really like a lot just because hes not my norm and I feel I have no chance. I so was the little whore back in the day that hell would take you boyfriend just because I could if you pissed me off. I mean its true I was a tease but I never gave a shit about those guys ever. I even tried to care and just knowing they left their girlfriends made it like ok your gonna leave me so ill leave you first. NOW its like I meet a guy and I don’t flaunt what I got and hide from who I am because first off how the hell are they single if the are that good of a guy. Well I figured it out the other night its because some guys get to the point where they don’t want whores anymore and they have high standards. I was like wow that’s why im single and love it for the most part. So I ask joe if I have a chance with this guy and he was like why wouldn’t you. I gave him a list of bs answers and he laughed and was like if I thought I had a chance I would go after you. I was in shock. Then he goes to explain that I would end up breaking his heart because im everything he wants in a wife. At that point I wanted to cry because im so fucking hormonal but he was like being honest. I wouldn’t of ever guessed because the type of girls he goes after arnt anything like me, sorta the same with this other guy so maybe I don’t really know I have a chance when I do. Ill see how it plays out its just I feel like that little girl I once was but all grown up. Its funny because guys have no idea who I once was. I look back at that now and think I was a lot better when in truth I just played the game with no emotions because it hurt.
Its interesting to look back on past guys 2 are married, 3 are around but have changes so much that I stay away and 1 of them has become someone I can go to. For me to be able to go to lee about other guys is so weird for me because the way I feel about this one kid right now is a lot of how I felt about lee. I don’t know how it changed so much when only months ago I was to be going down there and he was to be up here next weekend. I mean the north American is all we looked forward to for a long while and now its like we are friends but its really not even that. I miss him and wanna go back to haven it bad for him because he could make everything better but now I know that it can all faded away with time and distance. Im scared whats to come with other guys. Well I guess im back to waiting. Its less then a week that megan will be home and we’ll be down at eku and ill know if I have a chance and if its worth it.