(no subject)
I am not saying I really miss anything cause I do not. I lived how I lived and ling the way I am living now. I just hate this growing up thing. Rejection is the worse. Jb rejection after rejection after rejection gets to one after a while. I have gone to school and will be graduating this May in a competitive specialized field with very little opportunities and and limited availability. I still do not have a job. I wish I were like those that have boundless opportunities, those that while in school could never make up their mind in what they wanted to be, or those that majored in a non-specialized major and have a world of opportunity lining at their feet if they would just step that line. I am just too picky. I could get a lab job here, but the only organization in the state that offers interesting research I would consider looking into does things I do not agree with. I do not want to eventually years down the line have to defend why I worked for such a place that practices and condones such practices when I am against such practices, practices I feel are unethical to any creature. I am blockading my self from making anything, money, a name for myself, a reputation within th escience world because I cannnot even edge my foot in the door. I hate that I am having to change paths (even if just for a lil while) but as of right now there is nothing for me that I can allow myself to hold my head up high.