Lyrium and a Lover - Random Notes and Ramblings
1. This was supposed to be a short ficlet, something between 500-1000 words, but then it ran wild… Like a cute little nug or two that you pick from the street, unsuspecting that you’ll have to deal with a whole infestation soon afterwards.
Ah, Fenris, why do you make me do? I don’t even the energy to write. I hate you. I hate you from the bottom of my loving heart.
2. The title is borrowed from Sirenia’s song ‘Lithium and a Lover.’ I found two songs where ‘lithium’ can be swapped with ‘lyrium’ to fit Fenris quite well. I’ve added them to my ‘Lyrium and a Lover’ fanmix.
3. I took some liberties where it comes to Fenris’ characterization. I like his concept art, where he seems more like a wolf or a wild animal, and I thought I’d play a little with that. Fenris’ wild nature and poor socialization are already hinted at in the game (his brash and solitary character, the way Anders refers to him…), but overall I thought it could be explored more. There’s no drastic change to his personality and behavior in the fic, however; I simply added a bit of flavor by giving more importance to his senses (smell, taste…), as I find interesting the idea that Fenris relies heavily on instinct. As in the game, his diction is still surprising for an illiterate (former) slave, fear not.
4. Fenris, his lyrium markings, and sensitivity to magic
I interpreted that between his elven blood (In DA:O, for example, elves are said to be more attuned to magic. In DAII Merrill can discover if someone has been using blood magic simply by SMELL) and his lyirum markings, he’s more sensitive to magic.
Several lines Fenris uses in the game show that as well. He comments on how the Veil is thin, how there must be some dark magic at work, and so on. (Don’t make me go through his VO files again, please.)
In the fandom, there has been some talk about Fenris, his markings, and the pain/discomfort he is supposed to feel at the touch.
I kept it quite open in the fic; in part I decided to make his lyrium markings react to magic, but mostly it’s Fenris’ memories of the ritual and his interpretation of his physical reactions that evoke the sensation of ‘pain.’
5. Fenris and magic
In my opinion Fenris’ attitude toward magic is ambivalent.
We all know that his experiences caused a deep distrust or even hatred for magic.
On the other hand, there are several instances that prove Fenris might be (secretly) attracted to it as well. Demons offer the thing you covet most to tempt you, and in the Fade, Fenris makes a pact with one rather quickly in order to receive magic. We know that he fought to receive his lyrium markings by his own will. With the boon he freed his sister, a mage, which implies that at the time he didn’t think of magic as that dangerous. Maybe he was even thinking that if Varania became free, she might become a magister and free him in return.)
It’s his curse, as he says, and in a way his obsession. (He reminds me of Anders in that. Funny how two characters who hate each other are both obsessed with the same things - freedom and magic.)
And technical reasons asides, it’s not surprising that Fenris can just as easily fall in love with a mage!Hawke than with a Hawke who is not. Through Hawke, he may finally reconcile his desire for magic with his otherwise not particularly glowing opinion of it. (And of course, he desperately needs someone to act as family for him, but that’s another story.)
6. Fenris and symbols of romance
The night Fenris and Hawke sleep together, Fenris starts wearing the Hawke emblem, a red sash (said to be a favor) and underneath it something that looks like a dark ribbon.
There’s no explanation where or how Fenris comes to possess them, so I came up with my own explanation for my mage Hawke. I decided that the red sash is the same Hawke used to wear on her wrists (it’s part of my favorite mage robe too).
Another funny thing. While I was writing the scenes with the red sash, I kept thinking that it reminded me of something, but I couldn’t remember what. Only a few days later I remembered - it was the scene in Equilibrium. (And now I feel the urge to make an Equilibrium fanvid to Evanescence’s Lithium. *sigh*)
