Change?

[solaire]

Let me see if I still remember how this thing works. I used to find great solace in the realms of livejournal when I was growing up. It was a place where I could express myself freely, and not hold back for once. I am used to doing that in my "offline" world. I hold back everything, thoughts, emotions, myself. I know it's not healthy, but sometimes I find it so exhausting trying to fit in, and trying to be "normal", that I just resign myself to what others think, or feel. It just seems easier that way.

When I am online, I am able to put all of that aside, and actually be "myself".

I'm not sure exactly what made me want to log back on here, after all these years, but here I am. Maybe something will come from this, and I will be able to purge myself of some of those haunting thoughts. I guess only time will tell.