(no subject)

[solaire]

He is in our house.
right now
right at this very moment.

I want to run up there and yell at him. scream at him.
ask him why
why is he like this
why ........

I can't. I tried. there is no use. there never is.
he abandoned us.

my sister is more forgiving then i
she is going with him,  he is driving her to the bus station.

i hate this feeling.
but i made the first attempt.
i made the first contact
i made the first confrontation
and he ran
like always
like always...

I need to let my father go. but its hard.
his choice.
his life.
our pain.

....................................................... thank goodness for kevin..............

I have tried. I try. And its time for me to throw it out to the universe. whatever happens, happens. I can't control this, any of this.

they're gone now.
its quiet.

~K