Long, but worth the read
"I lost it."
Friends, these three little words are enough to send any teacher over the edge. We try to be flexible; we run extra copies, we hole-punch things...heck, we even buy binders as "gifts"...and despite our efforts, students still manage to lose all papers that are of any importance. The lengths that they go to in order to cover their sin are numerous and creative. We've heard it all, boys and girls, we've heard it all. You left it at home. Your little brother took it to school by mistake. You accidently did the wrong page. You didn't know you had to turn it in. It's in your locker. If all else fails, your dog ate it. Only the bravest, boldest, or stupidest of students, however, bare all and tell the honest truth: I lost it.
I will emphasize the word "stupidest" with the following story:
Background Info: I have one student (who we will call BJ) who makes every effort to be the thorn in my side, and boy is she gifted. Not only does she manage to be the thorn in MY side; she has somehow succeeded to annoy every single teacher and every single student to the point of making her victims want to gouge their own eyes out. Let it suffice to say that she has a knack for being irritating, aggravating, and sometimes downright mean. She kicks other students just to make them mad. This, in turn, stirs entire classes up and the kids tattle on her so much that it is impossible to accomplish anything until BJ has been thrown out of the room.
Let me set the stage: BJ is in my special class, which is full of ADD kids. Upon entering the room the kids know that they are to begin silent reading. Nothing else is allowed during this time. It is silent reading, and silent reading only. BJ, however, rarely comes to class with a book and has to be told no less than 3 times to get busy. Today was no different. I had told BJ 3 times in a 5 minute period to put her homework away and begin reading. She did not cooperate, so I gave her a final warning: begin reading, or get a detention. It was at this point that BJ began mocking me, much like a 5 year old would mock his mother. She screwed her face up into a grimace and mimicked my every word. And I'd had it.
"Very good BJ. Not only have you earned yourself a detention, now you get to go sit outside by yourself!" I exclaimed, in my most cheerful teacher voice. BJ, scowling and muttering, gathered her things and went outside. The class breathed a collective sigh of relief. BJ was then forced to sit outside in the hall and was deprived of her chief source of merriment: there was no one in the hall to annoy. However, she was also responsible for all of the day's instruction, which included a quiz.
This is where "I lost it" comes into play.
After giving a review, I handed out the quiz. BJ was taking hers in the hall, and I specifically told her NOT to work ahead, but to listen to me read each question out loud to the class. She was right outside the door, not 3 feet away from me, so that she could hear. Did I mention that BJ can't read a lick? She can't. So not working ahead is VITAL to her grade.
About halfway through the quiz, she entered the room and announced that she was finished. She worked ahead. What a shocker. I politely refused her quiz and asked her to return to the hall and listen to me read. She complied. After the quiz was finished, I went to collect her test. There she sat in the hall with her books piled neatly beside her and with pencil in hand. However, there was no quiz.
"BJ, where is your quiz?" I implored.
"I lost it," she STUPIDLY replied (didn't I tell you that STUPID would be emphasized???). I was flabberghasted. Lost it? Lost it how? She was IN THE HALL, for goodness sake! How on earth...??
"Er, lost it?" I managed.
"Well...my binder..." she mumbled an incomprehensible explanation. I couldn't make out more than 3 words.
"Find it. I'll be back," said I. Still slightly confused at what had just taken place, I returned to my students. We went over the answers to the quiz. Thinking that hearing the correct answers might jog her memory (and help her grade...ha ha), I returned to the hall immediately afterwards.
"BJ, do you have that quiz?"
"It slipped into this locker." This statement was offered as if it were the most logical, coherent, and rational explanation for the problem. She picked up her binder and tried to demonstrate how the quiz had miraculously jumped from the floor to the VERTICAL crack where the locker door sits on its hinge, which is at least 5 inches off of the ground. Oh yes. Makes perfect sense.
Let me add here that the quiz didn't just jump into any locker. This one belongs to the boy who frequently has to be excavated from the pile of filth that explodes from his locker every time he opens it. There is a mass of papers at the bottom of his locker about 2 feet high. He'll NEVER even notice BJ's quiz.
Anyway, back to the story. BJ then had the audacity to ask if I could perhaps give her another quiz and read it to her so that she could complete it. I just shook my head and quietly said, "Go to the bench. Just go to the bench." (The bench is where the bad kids go when they are kicked out of class.)
On a side note, after school I did see a paper poking out of said locker. Miraculously, it was the quiz. She got one question right and received a 10 as her grade. And that, friends, was 10 more than she deserved.
Friends, these three little words are enough to send any teacher over the edge. We try to be flexible; we run extra copies, we hole-punch things...heck, we even buy binders as "gifts"...and despite our efforts, students still manage to lose all papers that are of any importance. The lengths that they go to in order to cover their sin are numerous and creative. We've heard it all, boys and girls, we've heard it all. You left it at home. Your little brother took it to school by mistake. You accidently did the wrong page. You didn't know you had to turn it in. It's in your locker. If all else fails, your dog ate it. Only the bravest, boldest, or stupidest of students, however, bare all and tell the honest truth: I lost it.
I will emphasize the word "stupidest" with the following story:
Background Info: I have one student (who we will call BJ) who makes every effort to be the thorn in my side, and boy is she gifted. Not only does she manage to be the thorn in MY side; she has somehow succeeded to annoy every single teacher and every single student to the point of making her victims want to gouge their own eyes out. Let it suffice to say that she has a knack for being irritating, aggravating, and sometimes downright mean. She kicks other students just to make them mad. This, in turn, stirs entire classes up and the kids tattle on her so much that it is impossible to accomplish anything until BJ has been thrown out of the room.
Let me set the stage: BJ is in my special class, which is full of ADD kids. Upon entering the room the kids know that they are to begin silent reading. Nothing else is allowed during this time. It is silent reading, and silent reading only. BJ, however, rarely comes to class with a book and has to be told no less than 3 times to get busy. Today was no different. I had told BJ 3 times in a 5 minute period to put her homework away and begin reading. She did not cooperate, so I gave her a final warning: begin reading, or get a detention. It was at this point that BJ began mocking me, much like a 5 year old would mock his mother. She screwed her face up into a grimace and mimicked my every word. And I'd had it.
"Very good BJ. Not only have you earned yourself a detention, now you get to go sit outside by yourself!" I exclaimed, in my most cheerful teacher voice. BJ, scowling and muttering, gathered her things and went outside. The class breathed a collective sigh of relief. BJ was then forced to sit outside in the hall and was deprived of her chief source of merriment: there was no one in the hall to annoy. However, she was also responsible for all of the day's instruction, which included a quiz.
This is where "I lost it" comes into play.
After giving a review, I handed out the quiz. BJ was taking hers in the hall, and I specifically told her NOT to work ahead, but to listen to me read each question out loud to the class. She was right outside the door, not 3 feet away from me, so that she could hear. Did I mention that BJ can't read a lick? She can't. So not working ahead is VITAL to her grade.
About halfway through the quiz, she entered the room and announced that she was finished. She worked ahead. What a shocker. I politely refused her quiz and asked her to return to the hall and listen to me read. She complied. After the quiz was finished, I went to collect her test. There she sat in the hall with her books piled neatly beside her and with pencil in hand. However, there was no quiz.
"BJ, where is your quiz?" I implored.
"I lost it," she STUPIDLY replied (didn't I tell you that STUPID would be emphasized???). I was flabberghasted. Lost it? Lost it how? She was IN THE HALL, for goodness sake! How on earth...??
"Er, lost it?" I managed.
"Well...my binder..." she mumbled an incomprehensible explanation. I couldn't make out more than 3 words.
"Find it. I'll be back," said I. Still slightly confused at what had just taken place, I returned to my students. We went over the answers to the quiz. Thinking that hearing the correct answers might jog her memory (and help her grade...ha ha), I returned to the hall immediately afterwards.
"BJ, do you have that quiz?"
"It slipped into this locker." This statement was offered as if it were the most logical, coherent, and rational explanation for the problem. She picked up her binder and tried to demonstrate how the quiz had miraculously jumped from the floor to the VERTICAL crack where the locker door sits on its hinge, which is at least 5 inches off of the ground. Oh yes. Makes perfect sense.
Let me add here that the quiz didn't just jump into any locker. This one belongs to the boy who frequently has to be excavated from the pile of filth that explodes from his locker every time he opens it. There is a mass of papers at the bottom of his locker about 2 feet high. He'll NEVER even notice BJ's quiz.
Anyway, back to the story. BJ then had the audacity to ask if I could perhaps give her another quiz and read it to her so that she could complete it. I just shook my head and quietly said, "Go to the bench. Just go to the bench." (The bench is where the bad kids go when they are kicked out of class.)
On a side note, after school I did see a paper poking out of said locker. Miraculously, it was the quiz. She got one question right and received a 10 as her grade. And that, friends, was 10 more than she deserved.