Kindness as a work. I want to be able to return to this thought more easily.
http://m.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/
I've read this article before, but it's since occurred to me that all of its points relate to community cohesiveness and bonding, as well, not just single-partner relationships. Consider, just for an opener:
"That’s how kindness works too: there’s a great deal of evidence showing the more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves, which leads to upward spirals of love and generosity in a relationship."
Only limited as much as your energy is limited, etc. It's funny: I've never had the personal need or wherewithal to commit to more than one partner (though this may be as much due to rarity as anything else), and always thought that was lack of social energy, but applying this more holistically, first to a group and then as a general operating principle: that seems so laughably simple. It only takes attention.
This is a fruit of the great inversion of last year. A way to see everyone by that light.
D.: "After reading it made me rethink some conclusions that I have lived by, but the conclusions remained. IT sorta falls under ' peace sells, but who's buying '. Going to read again."
Well, that's the hard part: not everyone is buying. Maybe not even most people, depending on the situation. But every small demonstration against that adds to the cumulative effect: even if someone doesn't respond in kind today, they may tomorrow, or five years from now, or soften their response to another person entirely, who may go on to do the same. Faith in that effect is hard-won, and there are always going to be gamers of the system, but even even the most gentle force, if but consistently applied.
Also, I sometimes wonder if I'm just repeating childish points that others if my cohort have already enfolded and evolved through, and if I'm just the only one who has to noodle about it by writing it through and stating the obvious to at least oneself.
Either way, it has to be done, but still.