FIC: Looking After You (5/ ?)
Author Notes: I’m sorry for the wait for this chapter. It was a combination of getting behind on some RL stuff, email malfunctions and hitting a snag in my writing. On the bright side, Chapter 6 is done and awaiting final revisions before upload, so it should be a shorter wait. I am hoping to once again get to the point where I’m ahead of the game though, so this time I’m not going to promise a particular time frame for updating (last time jinxed me).
At this time I’m thinking this is going to be 13 chapters, but that could change as time goes by.
Thanks to HarbingerLoki who took the time to beta this not once but twice after I made a bunch of revisions. Mucho Gracias!
And now onto the chapter!
Part V: Interlude
Odin Borson stood at the window of his chambers and stared out into the night. The interlude with his son had left him unsettled and unable to sleep. It felt like they had gotten nowhere. The one chance he had of speaking with his son without his son being able to run off and he had wasted it.
Odin wasn’t used to not being able to fix things. In his centuries of leadership, Asgard had lived in peace, a few minor scrimmages that were easily finished without much bloodshed. He was able to run the realm as well as protect several others and not fail.
Yet somehow he had failed with his son.
He had raised both his sons to be capable rulers. Thor had always had more in common with Odin then Loki. Loki was reserved and quiet, letting very few ever know what went through his head. He was intelligent and had over the years even assisted Odin in plans for Asgard. Odin had always been a doer rather than a planner. He supposed it was one of his few failings. He had learned from his father that you should think before you act, which was a lesson he had to teach Thor by sending him to Midgard. Loki had always been a planner. For everything he did, he had planned for months, usually having one or two back-up plans. He rarely acted rashly, although he did like to cause trouble.
Which made his actions the last two years make no sense to his father. Loki had never craved the role of King as Thor had. He had preferred to be the one in the background, even though he would have been a capable leader should the need come. It made no sense for him to go to Midgard and take over in such a manner. Loki liked to manipulate a situation, not go in with force.
“Odin, what are you doing at this strange hour?” He turned to face his wife at the sound of her sleepy voice. Most of Asgard was asleep at this time. She walked over to join him at the window.
“Thinking, my dear,” he responded with a smile. However, thousands of years of marriage had made Frigga well aware when her husband wasn’t completely forth coming. It didn’t take much to connect his ‘thinking’ to his recent experience with Loki.
“He’ll be fine, Odin. We have to trust in that.”
“He does not believe I love him.”
“He is still reeling from the shock. I’m sure in time he will come to understand that you are his father, no matter what his genetics say.” She tilted her head and leaned against his shoulder, pausing to think over her next words before she said them. “You told him he was supposed to be king of Jotunheim. You never got to tell him the rest. Perhaps you should write down your thoughts, the whole story, in a letter for him to read once he is able. Maybe having physical distance might allow him to hear your words as well as allow you to be able to figure out what you wish to tell him. Right now, he can’t help but think of those moments when he learned he was not what he thought he was.” She placed a hand on her husband’s elbow, and he brought his own up to join hers.
“Perhaps. Perhaps Thor will get through him when he visits him tomorrow.”
“You know,” Frigga commented as she began to drag her husband away from the window and towards their bed. “Loki reminds me a lot of you. There’s always a reason for what he does, even when it’s hard to see it.”
~*~
The blackness had returned a few hours after he was left alone with his thoughts, but this time it brought a friend. The whispers were louder, feeding into his insecurities. It was trying to drag him back in, destroy whatever progress he had made with his father and Darcy.
Your real parents abandoned you. You were only a pawn in Odin’s games
He fought against it. He knew this wasn’t completely true. Otherwise they would have given up on him already. While he hadn’t quite forgiven his father for how he dealt with it, he had come to realize today that his father had just dealt with it wrong, but he was still his father.
They have given up. They celebrated your death.
Asgard might have. Thor didn’t. He swore he mourned Loki. Thor took his oaths and honor seriously. Unlike Loki, he rarely lied, and if he had, it was almost always a lie of omission rather than an outright lie.
Did he really? After all you destroyed on both the home realm and his adopted world? Does he still forgive you?
Thor had told him so when they got to Asgard. He had managed to get Odin from banishing him.
She doesn’t love you. She loves a mirage. You are just the look-alike replacement.
She doesn’t know better. He didn’t know what he felt for her, but he had always known her concern for him was an offshoot of her love for his alter-ego. The whispered words still stung though, feeding into his feelings of being unlovable.
That little girl would just be corrupted by you. You destroyed her mother’s home and broke her heart with your lies. What would you do to her?
He tried not to bring up the image in his head of the little girl Odin had shown him, the girl who had green eyes and a head full of dark brown hair and a tendency to turn blue. He hadn’t missed Odin’s thoughts behind that. He didn’t want her to feel like a monster too. But she was only half Jotun. Perhaps her mother could prevent that.
You are a monster. Or have you forgotten what you have done. You told the Widow she’d never clear the red in her book, but what about you? How far in the red are you now, Laufeyson?
~*~
In the middle of the night, Darcy woke with a start at the sound of her daughter crying. At first, she just sat on her bed, breathing deeply, trying to catch her own breath. It had felt like someone had tried to rip her heart from her chest, something cold and foreign pressing down upon her.
She ran to her daughter’s room, and picked her up, rocking her to calm both her daughter and herself. Something was coming after them, she could feel it. She knew she was more fanciful then Jane, who would only believe something if there was physical evidence and about three peer-reviewed articles about it. But, sometimes she just knew.
For example, she knew the moment her father died despite being hours away and having no idea there was a problem.
She knew she needed to take that internship though physics sounded incomprehensible to her and despite what she said she really didn’t need those six credits.
Or how she knew that guy who yelled at her for taking his parking spot was going to leave a lasting impression on her life.
She. Just. Knew.
Right now though, she knew something was trying to come after her and her daughter. The feel of something cold with the ability to reach into them without physically being there, pressing down on her chest. She still felt the phantom touch, even as she held her daughter against her. It did not feel friendly in any sense of the word. She could tell that the presence that had caused it was gone, but that did not make her feel much better.
She paused in her pacing for a moment before turning towards the door. She left the room and found herself in the hallway without any idea of where to go to find Romana, the only person she figured who would give her answers. Clearly, there was something new at stake here. If the woman did not already know of it, she no doubt could figure something out.
“Lady Darcy?” Darcy jumped at the voice, not expecting anyone there in the hall. Ariana didn’t like the disruption, letting out a little cry, but as soon as her mother rocked her again, she quieted down. Darcy turned her attention to the warrior, Sif, who had been sitting on a cushioned bench outside of her suite.
“No need to call me that, Lady Sif. Darcy is just fine.” She said with a smile. She knew Thor had mentioned that there would be someone to protect her, in case of extra curious citizens, but she hadn’t expected to know the person sent. She also was unsure on how to interact with Sif. Sif was a goddess, and one of Thor’s closest friends. She was also someone who had been on an opposing side to Loki, with legitimate reasons to dislike the younger prince.
“You are the mother of royal,” Sif stated, seemingly figuring out part of the issue. “You are rightfully to be held in honor. However, if it will make you more comfortable, I will call you Darcy. By that same token, you can call me Sif.” She gave Darcy a reassuring smile.
Sif had only known this woman briefly from those hours spent on Midgard with Thor. However, given Thor’s respect for her and the stories he had related afterwards, she seemed to be a remarkable Midgardian. She wished to know more about her, especially now that she stood to be the one to help Loki, and would no doubt be visiting Asgard often with her daughter. Sif held no illusions that she would stay on Asgard permanently. Most people were partial to their home realms.
“Do you happen to know where Romana is?” Darcy asked after a moment of silence where both women tried to figure out how to address the other.
“Her rooms are next to the healing chambers,” Sif replied, holding a hand out in that direction. She started to move, knowing that Darcy would follow her. “Is something wrong with your daughter?” Her tone held genuine concern. Asgard was not unfamiliar with hybrid children, so she knew that many had problems during their early months in adapting to their mixed heritage.
It made her wonder about Loki and how in all their years of friendship, love and even distrust she had never once guessed he was not the son of the King. Her mother had told her that there had been rumors when Loki was first introduced that he wasn’t actually Frigga’s son, but the son of one of Odin’s other lovers whom Frigga had adopted. But no one had thought him not the son of Odin.
“Yes and no. It’s hard to explain.” Darcy bit her lip as she tried to sort her thoughts. “Most people will assume I am crazy. Which is probably not the right way to start this, but it’s out.” She paused once more. “Have you ever felt like something was sitting on your chest even though no one was there?”
Sif frowned. Her medical knowledge was rudimentary. “I have heard panic attacks referred to as such, but somehow I suspect that is not what you believe this is.”
“No. It felt like someone sat on my chest while trying to yank out my heart at the same time. And either Ariana felt it too, or she picked up on my distress. I’d rather Romana checked her over to make sure.”
“Sound decision. I have learned that instinct is often a good indicator. If you feel danger, there is a possibility. You should know there are plenty here who would do their utmost to protect you and your daughter from harm, I included.” Before Darcy had time to respond, they had reached Romana’s quarters, only to find the woman standing at the door.
“I see you felt it too,” she said to the two women, reaching out for the child. “Come inside. We need not speak this to the halls.” She led them into her room which was smaller than Darcy’s guest quarters. There was a small sitting area next to the door with an archway that led into the bedroom. Inside the bedroom was a larger four-poster bed, a desk area that was remarkably clean and organized and a larger wardrobe with an old fashioned pocket watch wrapped around the one handle.
Romana noticed Darcy’s curiosity and smiled as she walked towards the wardrobe itself, shifting the baby into one arm so she could open the door while safely holding Ariana. She walked into the wardrobe, leaving the other two outside in confusion.
“You are coming, aren’t you?” she asked from inside the wardrobe. Darcy shared a glance at Sif who looked equally unsure about the turn of events. She walked towards the door, opening it wider and stepping in, finding herself not in a wardrobe at all, but in a room, with a raised platform in the center with some sort of console and a curved golden staircase to the right.
Sif was equally in awe. However she had learned to hide her reactions behind a mask, and was able to hide the fact that she had never before seen transdimensional space. Unlike Darcy however, she had been aware that it was possible. However this form of magic had not yet been developed in Asgard. There had been rumors that Loki had the skills to create such a room, but there had been no proof. When asked he would just smirk and remain silent.
“Now this is what I call a walk-in closet,” Darcy said when she finally focused back on the other two in the room.
“It is called a Tardis,” Romana explained as she led them to a doorway beneath the stair case. It led to a room that was painted a light blue but still had the obvious signs of being a medical facility. It was more advanced than what Darcy had ever seen. She watched as the older woman placed the baby on an examination table made especially for this purpose. “It means Time and Relative Dimensions in Space,” Romana continued to explain as she gathered a few things and put them on a stand beside the baby. “The granddaughter of a colleague of mine coined the term.” There seemed to be a kind of melancholy in her words. As if she hadn’t seen her friend in some time. Darcy decided that it would probably be rude to ask and instead pretended she hadn’t heard the sadness behind the words. Romana focused on examining Ariana to make sure there had not been any harm done to her by whatever force Romana, Darcy and Ariana had felt.
“How come I did not feel this presence when you two did?” Sif asked, slightly irritated by the fact that clearly she had failed in her duty to protect her charge. She had always prided herself in being observant, but she had felt nothing.
“I am particularly sensitive to telepathic connections, my dear. I believe Darcy and Ariana were attacked because of their association with Loki. Thankfully, Ariana seems none the worse for wear. However I do believe she’s a tad bit hungry.” Sif did not look reassured.
“It is probably coming up on her normal eating time,” Darcy murmured, taking her daughter from Romana who had lifted her off the exam bed. “Is there any way to protect her for this? I know I choose to help Loki, but I don’t want my daughter to pay for a decision I made.”
“The force that attacked you can’t really touch her. She hasn’t touched her father’s mind, not yet. She should be safe, but she will be able to sense it when it attacks you, and feel the backlash.” Romana paused and then frowned. “You were able to protect yourself and your daughter remarkably well for a species that doesn’t usually have telepathic abilities that are activated. Do you mind if I exam you, Lady Darcy?”
“I suppose so,” she said with a frown.
“Please sit on the exam bed near the wall. It has a scanner I can use. It should be quick and painless and allow you to return to your daughter as soon as possible. Sif, could you hold Ariana for a moment?”
“Yes, of course.” Darcy reluctantly let her daughter go again, caught between worry and amusement at the look Sif had on her face as she tried to establish how to properly hold the child. She supposed that warrior woman weren’t often asked to babysit their relatives.
Once Sif had a proper hold on Ariana, Darcy joined Romana at the exam area. Sif followed behind, not wanting to be out of Darcy’s sight in case something went wrong with Ariana. She was unaccustomed to holding children so young. In fact, she had not thought to hold one until she gave birth to her own children.
“Please lay down,” Romana commanded in a soft voice. “I shall run the scan over you in three passes. Just relax, it should be done shortly.” Darcy tried to do as she was told but the idea that she needed to be checked out worried her. She couldn’t understand a word on the instruments that Romana used. It looked pretty though. She assumed it was a language, but she supposed it could be a design. It was various circles interacting with each other in various patterns.
“It is Gallifrean,” Romana answered, having sensed her question. “Very few speak this language anymore, and even less wish to learn it. However, I agree. It does look beautiful.”
“Are you telepathic yourself?”
“Yes, on a limited level, though usually in connection to my Tardis or other Gallifreans. However, you are quite shouting your thoughts at the moment, dear. When we are through with Loki’s treatment, I must teach you some basic skills or else you will be shouting at any telepath that walks by you.”
“So I am a telepath now? Cool. Can I read minds?” Darcy couldn’t decide if she thought that was a blessing or a curse.
“Reading minds is not quite what it seems like. No, you are an outgoing telepath at the moment. Meaning I can read you, and perhaps Loki, as the two of you have connected and bonded, but you can’t really receive messages from anyone besides the one you are bonded to.”
“Bonded?” Sif asked in surprise, rocking slightly to help Ariana sleep. She had never heard of bonding happening with someone from Midgardian. It had been assumed by most that it was the life span gap that prevented such a bond from forming.
“Ah, yes. You weren’t there when I explained this.” Romana turned back to Darcy and started at the beginning, knowing Darcy could probably use the reminder more than Sif. “The Aesir tend to bond telepathically when they join together. It assists them in raising their children, creating long term bonds with their spouse as well as somewhat permanent ones with their children. Both can be broken if need be. It usually is best to let them go on their own. Parental bonds lessen as their children grow, but usually do not completely leave. Spousal bonds are either constantly renewed or fade away with time and the pair is free to bond with new mates if they so choose."
“But neither Darcy nor Loki is Aesir,” Sif stated. “I have never heard of a bonding with those outside Asgard.
“I can only assume that the Jotun have a similar system. After all, no one thought Loki was a Frost Giant until his father revealed it. If they had a radically different biological system it would have been obvious much earlier. As it is, I can only assume that the differences are mainly in size and external appearance. The inner workings appear to be the same.” Romana paused to put down her scanner and bring up the monitor where the results would be placed. “However, I am not an expert on Jotun physiology.”
“What about me?” Darcy asked, wanting to know what the results were. Romana didn’t look up from her monitor as she started to speak once more.
“Well, humans tend to have the ability to cross-breed quite well. It’s actually quite unique really. Again, humans are not a particular knowledge base for me. I suspect that is actually a moot point. Ah, yes. You are only half human, Lady Darcy. According to my scans, your DNA has Aesir markers.”
“What?” Darcy wondered at Romana’s ability to make it sound like she told people they had hybrid DNA every day.
“Without your parental DNA, I cannot tell you which of your parents was the Asgardian, but it would appear one of them was. The other was human. Would your parents be willing to share some DNA for comparison?”
“I was adopted; I don’t know who my biological parents are.” Darcy stared ahead, slightly in a daze. She had never asked about her biological parents after learning she had been adopted when she was sixteen. Part of her didn’t want to think of herself as not being the actual daughter of Madeline and Pierce Lewis, and the other part felt like looking into her biological parents would be an insult to the parents she had that had raised her and loved her.
“Ah, I see. Well, I suppose mysteries don’t all have to be solved. This does however explain a few things such as your ability to bond with Loki, and your ability to fight off a telepathic assault without any training, or knowledge of your abilities for example.”
Romana noticed Darcy’s dazed expression continued and motioned Sif over with the baby. Sif handed over Ariana to Darcy who seemed to come out of wherever she had gone to focus on her daughter, bringing her arms up to take the child from Sif.
“It should be easy to find out which of your parents was Asgardian,” Sif commented. Heimdall should be able to remember who visited Midgard around the time of your birth. I can only assume that your father is the Asgardian, as you would have been born here if it had been your mother.” Sif was slightly annoyed with the information. Trips to Midgard, due to its current level of development were usually closely monitored. Many went there for vacations away from Asgard, but they knew that they were to leave as little an impact on the culture as they could. Thor and Loki of course seemed to have ignored that lesson. She was slightly annoyed at herself as well, as she hadn’t thought of that when she had gone to get Thor.
Whoever was Darcy’s father was probably unaware that he had a child. Sif hoped anyway that man she most likely fought next to had the decency to take care of his progeny.
Romana noticed the contemplative looks on both women. Both also showed signs of weariness.
“Perhaps it is time you and Ariana get some rest. You as well, Lady Sif. Tomorrow, we will be introducing Thor into Loki’s mind space. Tonight’s events will also be discussed. I fear we might need Loki out of his mental prison much sooner than this process will allow.”
“Will he be ok?” Darcy asked. “I have been assuming that he would be ok, that he just needs to be pulled back to the land of the living, but with someone attacking him, and us, will this change that?” Romana smiled at Darcy’s concern, while Sif watched her with a look that Darcy couldn’t seem to define.
“Loki Odinson has a strong mind, my dear. We just need him to remember that he is not alone.”
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