This bottle of wine
Its been so long since i've updated this. Since then i think i fell in lvoe with someone completely outta my social circuit. Me and john started dating 9 weeks ago, i met him via felicia, she was talking to his friend and had asked me to go to oHouse with her, i agreed figuring i would be miserable, and this insanely tall boy at 6'5 was there. I danced with him for the majority of the night and fell for him when i had asked him back at his friend's house to feed me burritos, which he did without ever complaining. The next day as we laid on the couch together he asked if we could be exclusive, and i agreed. I dropped every boy i was talking to a that moment just for him... after 2 days. Things happened so fast. Goodbye Jon and goodbye everyone else. Omg, this whole reationship has been crazy.
I fell for him so fast and was so excited to find someone that had so much in common with me. I even dubbed him my boyfriend after a week, how often does that shit happen!? I dont even know. We have so much fun togeither. It kills me sometimes. Sometimes i ask myself if i'm reliving my glory days with slimm, please dont hurt me or take advantage of me. Its so hard to live through again. I write this entry and i'm crying tears.
I went through my journal, no doubt i'm slightly tipsy off this bottle of wine but, i was crying because of looking back through this. IT reminded me of how hurt i was and how much i suffered through this relationship with slimm. And john says the same things slimm said at the beginning about how he would never hurt me or be mean to me, and i'm just so scared that this may turn out the same. I mean, john had told me at the beginning that he was not jealous or demanding, and over time i realize that he is, and slimm had said he would never hurt me or be mean to me and yet he did. I just question whether or not jonn can change for me. HE says he wants to work on his issues. THere are already doubts in our relationship. He thinks i'm lying to him, all because of fuckin buffalo, i fuckin hate him. But i dont because of his loyalty.
You know buff has stayed with me consistently with me for the past 4 years, no matter how crappy i treated him. NOne-the-less, i knew i couldnt give him a relationship so i ignored him. Finally one night as he calls i tell john that it was a blocked number, i lied, i knew this shit would be an issue, my guilty consience killed me and john would not stop asking. I had to call buff and explain why i've been incommunicado. That shit is hard. Anyhooz, john has me in check. Aside from that, lets talk about the plus side of life.
A month after calling bufff and tellin him i gotta man, he calls me to find out whats goin on with me and if i'm safe with all the fires, si senor, thank you for asking. Halloween weekend was a blast again, unfortunately my bumble bee outfit online was soo small for fat ass me, so i went as a devil, you know wusuup. Tina's last minute costume was a devil too so we matched. I'm chill with that that. We looked hot. TH enight we went to club v2o with my oc girls i was hammered, my girls and man were there, i got too excited and was so fucekd up. O well. saturday night me and john spent some time together and sunday i watched my once failing chargers pull it together. Have I mentioned i love cory for being my protector?!!? Well, anyways, the night of Hallow's eve i worked til 10 and convinced my manager to let me off early at 900 which she did we i got ready and me and my SD ladies went to Ohoues where we saw our regulars and lover made out with yet another dad. So thats life, i wanna go to bed, I drank an entire bottel of wine and feel good, love ya muchoz
I fell for him so fast and was so excited to find someone that had so much in common with me. I even dubbed him my boyfriend after a week, how often does that shit happen!? I dont even know. We have so much fun togeither. It kills me sometimes. Sometimes i ask myself if i'm reliving my glory days with slimm, please dont hurt me or take advantage of me. Its so hard to live through again. I write this entry and i'm crying tears.
I went through my journal, no doubt i'm slightly tipsy off this bottle of wine but, i was crying because of looking back through this. IT reminded me of how hurt i was and how much i suffered through this relationship with slimm. And john says the same things slimm said at the beginning about how he would never hurt me or be mean to me, and i'm just so scared that this may turn out the same. I mean, john had told me at the beginning that he was not jealous or demanding, and over time i realize that he is, and slimm had said he would never hurt me or be mean to me and yet he did. I just question whether or not jonn can change for me. HE says he wants to work on his issues. THere are already doubts in our relationship. He thinks i'm lying to him, all because of fuckin buffalo, i fuckin hate him. But i dont because of his loyalty.
You know buff has stayed with me consistently with me for the past 4 years, no matter how crappy i treated him. NOne-the-less, i knew i couldnt give him a relationship so i ignored him. Finally one night as he calls i tell john that it was a blocked number, i lied, i knew this shit would be an issue, my guilty consience killed me and john would not stop asking. I had to call buff and explain why i've been incommunicado. That shit is hard. Anyhooz, john has me in check. Aside from that, lets talk about the plus side of life.
A month after calling bufff and tellin him i gotta man, he calls me to find out whats goin on with me and if i'm safe with all the fires, si senor, thank you for asking. Halloween weekend was a blast again, unfortunately my bumble bee outfit online was soo small for fat ass me, so i went as a devil, you know wusuup. Tina's last minute costume was a devil too so we matched. I'm chill with that that. We looked hot. TH enight we went to club v2o with my oc girls i was hammered, my girls and man were there, i got too excited and was so fucekd up. O well. saturday night me and john spent some time together and sunday i watched my once failing chargers pull it together. Have I mentioned i love cory for being my protector?!!? Well, anyways, the night of Hallow's eve i worked til 10 and convinced my manager to let me off early at 900 which she did we i got ready and me and my SD ladies went to Ohoues where we saw our regulars and lover made out with yet another dad. So thats life, i wanna go to bed, I drank an entire bottel of wine and feel good, love ya muchoz