i should study psychology
I won't write a huge thing here basically just wana write and figured this is the place to do it where not many will actually see..but i can get it out and semi documented more likely for myself..or if i decide to share with chelsea..one of the few who really cares about this stuff in a sensible way. besides julia who will just say she will pray for me lol. not that i dont think that will work but thats not exactly and answer for everything.
Too flaky lol...now ive been in a relationship for over 2 years with a wonderful boy. but the old me comes back...rearing her ugly head. omg someones not perfect. we get into arguments sometimes but theyre always over quick..i dont mind that im just constantly on the look out for personality disorders it seems. not that i dont have neurocities as well. as far as i know mine are minor..yes i get aggitated a little quickly. but i dont yell at him ill just say ill tthl then calm down then come back a nd talk normally. but i do pick at his relationship with his best friend..which i feel like i am in the right since they have quite an unusual unique friendship that crosses a few borders of societal norms. he is understanding and hears me out and basically always takes my advice on that. same with a few other morally related things.. his mother wasnt the best so therse just things he hasnt necessarily learned the way more of us have. not at all his fault and i commend him all the time for being so compliant. but because of these situations i feel like one more thing....brings me to just picking at him. those things i understand and they can be resolved. as long as he doesnt keep doing the troublesome things im find with slip ups here and there since he just didnt know.
btu also mom related...there seem to be things here and there he just wont talk about. a movie about a bad mother that i found interesting i cant talk of, which is alright in itself but the mere fact he is so entirely bothered by the topic and sounded so disturbed as i began to just talk of the movie before i even knew his thoughts as he urged me to stop talking about the movie...was disturbing. various childhood times he blocks entirely, experiences or memories or feelings. he cant stand wine or the smell of it, save for maneshewitz lol but thats more like juice than wine. certain restaurants, fully blonde headed women usually but not always, he completely regresses to a rebellious adolescent at her house...doing things purposefully to piss her off. he also often will accuse me of telling him how to do things my way...even though i really am just trying to help. he isnt always the best at efficiently communicating an idea, which i figure is him being that i have asked opinions of others on the very topics we disagree and they all without any suggestion from me end up agreeing with my point. i merely try to advise him the correct way to phrase something, or words to use based on the mass conotation of certain phrases and ideologies. I admit freely and often when something is purely the opinion of myself and some friends...but there are somethings that one is just brought up knowing and can use intermittently among others and be sure they know what you are saying. those are the things that come up and when i mention it, in just a casual way he will get upset saying that im just trying to make him do things my way....which i know was most of the problem with his mother who was extremely opinionated and quite often wrong about anyway. i feel his reaction is just a defense to the type of arguments constantly used against him as a child, not realizing that i am not her and don't mean to push my ways onto him...just to help him for future conversations with other people so he can always say what he means and know the point will get across whoever he is speaking to.
i can choose not to drink wine, i just try it because my conotation of it is sophistacated. i dont need to dye my hair blonde again nor do i necessarily want to go fully blonde (although i do dye my hair a lot and i end up skipping that color) i can try to avoid certain movies with him...but i enjoy most talking of movies especially interesting ones and sometimes i feel akward having to quickly change topic with him so he doesnt become clammed up and upset. i hate being the mediator and adult between us at his mothers house..as well as at doctor's offices since he apparently had to wait in them allll the time with his mother as a child (she took a lot of medicines). he also reverts there..slouching and rubbing his head and falling asleep instead of the typical person who talks (since im there) or reads magazines or texts.
is this a problem that i should just ignore and compromise on, as mild as the simple aspects of him not knowing certian niceties of everyday society and typical relationships?
or should i try to get him to talk about these issues as much as it bothers him now..try to let go of the baggage and get past it, realize that his mother is not those crazy ones in movies (the movie i was speaking of was much worse obviously ...but he apparently had nightmares relating his to that one). is it ok for him to keep all of that to himself avoiding it all the time? people whose parents died...can usually talk about those parents a few years later. regardless of how much it upset them at the time of the tragedy. should he then have almost as much trouble in the matter of past events now as a 22 year old living on his own?
or is this deeper than me? and he needs more than to just talk?
Too flaky lol...now ive been in a relationship for over 2 years with a wonderful boy. but the old me comes back...rearing her ugly head. omg someones not perfect. we get into arguments sometimes but theyre always over quick..i dont mind that im just constantly on the look out for personality disorders it seems. not that i dont have neurocities as well. as far as i know mine are minor..yes i get aggitated a little quickly. but i dont yell at him ill just say ill tthl then calm down then come back a nd talk normally. but i do pick at his relationship with his best friend..which i feel like i am in the right since they have quite an unusual unique friendship that crosses a few borders of societal norms. he is understanding and hears me out and basically always takes my advice on that. same with a few other morally related things.. his mother wasnt the best so therse just things he hasnt necessarily learned the way more of us have. not at all his fault and i commend him all the time for being so compliant. but because of these situations i feel like one more thing....brings me to just picking at him. those things i understand and they can be resolved. as long as he doesnt keep doing the troublesome things im find with slip ups here and there since he just didnt know.
btu also mom related...there seem to be things here and there he just wont talk about. a movie about a bad mother that i found interesting i cant talk of, which is alright in itself but the mere fact he is so entirely bothered by the topic and sounded so disturbed as i began to just talk of the movie before i even knew his thoughts as he urged me to stop talking about the movie...was disturbing. various childhood times he blocks entirely, experiences or memories or feelings. he cant stand wine or the smell of it, save for maneshewitz lol but thats more like juice than wine. certain restaurants, fully blonde headed women usually but not always, he completely regresses to a rebellious adolescent at her house...doing things purposefully to piss her off. he also often will accuse me of telling him how to do things my way...even though i really am just trying to help. he isnt always the best at efficiently communicating an idea, which i figure is him being that i have asked opinions of others on the very topics we disagree and they all without any suggestion from me end up agreeing with my point. i merely try to advise him the correct way to phrase something, or words to use based on the mass conotation of certain phrases and ideologies. I admit freely and often when something is purely the opinion of myself and some friends...but there are somethings that one is just brought up knowing and can use intermittently among others and be sure they know what you are saying. those are the things that come up and when i mention it, in just a casual way he will get upset saying that im just trying to make him do things my way....which i know was most of the problem with his mother who was extremely opinionated and quite often wrong about anyway. i feel his reaction is just a defense to the type of arguments constantly used against him as a child, not realizing that i am not her and don't mean to push my ways onto him...just to help him for future conversations with other people so he can always say what he means and know the point will get across whoever he is speaking to.
i can choose not to drink wine, i just try it because my conotation of it is sophistacated. i dont need to dye my hair blonde again nor do i necessarily want to go fully blonde (although i do dye my hair a lot and i end up skipping that color) i can try to avoid certain movies with him...but i enjoy most talking of movies especially interesting ones and sometimes i feel akward having to quickly change topic with him so he doesnt become clammed up and upset. i hate being the mediator and adult between us at his mothers house..as well as at doctor's offices since he apparently had to wait in them allll the time with his mother as a child (she took a lot of medicines). he also reverts there..slouching and rubbing his head and falling asleep instead of the typical person who talks (since im there) or reads magazines or texts.
is this a problem that i should just ignore and compromise on, as mild as the simple aspects of him not knowing certian niceties of everyday society and typical relationships?
or should i try to get him to talk about these issues as much as it bothers him now..try to let go of the baggage and get past it, realize that his mother is not those crazy ones in movies (the movie i was speaking of was much worse obviously ...but he apparently had nightmares relating his to that one). is it ok for him to keep all of that to himself avoiding it all the time? people whose parents died...can usually talk about those parents a few years later. regardless of how much it upset them at the time of the tragedy. should he then have almost as much trouble in the matter of past events now as a 22 year old living on his own?
or is this deeper than me? and he needs more than to just talk?