Ummmm, Okay
To the person who was responsible for "improving" my car by scratching "BSR" into the back of it with a knife, I would like to express my appreciation. Though I personally do not understand how my driving around with these letters cut into my car elevates your status in social circles, I was hoping to perhaps show you my appreciation personally. Please leave your name, address, and any other important physical characteristics that distinguish you from anyone else and I could show you my gratitude personally. In the event that I cannot (time constraints, what have you) perhaps I might send over some friends of mine in my stead. If that is the case, please be sure to leave a statement of all other properties (public or what have you) that you have also "improved." If you have engaged in any other criminal interesting activities you may include that in the statement as well. My friends occasionally are in a hurry and may ask you to please step out of your residence and to keep your hands in front of you at all times. Please excuse their odd behaviour.