hmph.
yesterday was the worst day i've had in a long time. the night before i stayed up all night with mona and ravi working on a paper ravi had to write for class (actually, i just provided moral support while mona and ravi did the work). that was a bad idea, considering i was starting to get a cold and had to walk dogs on monday in the freezing, windy, apocalyptic weather. it was absolutely miserable. after work i was supposed to hang out with ravi, but he ditched me for TWO hours to hang out with my bitchy nemesis. i was PISSED. things cheered up considerably after my PM petsit because i met up with sarah, and we got the yummiest burritos ever. it was very cool to get some much-needed sarah time. anyways, fast forward to me going home...yeah...i made the mistake of telling ravi that i was pissed at him for ditching me, which turned into a full blown out fight between us. and then i kind of lost my shit. seriously, i just flipped the fuck out, packed up a bunch of clothes, and tried to get out of the house. my dad made the mistake of trying to restrain me (NOT a bright idea if you know me at all)...at which point i went exorcist-head-spinning-psychotic. eventually i got past my dad (yes, he was physically trying to prevent me from leaving...STUPID) and to my car, and eventually had the good sense to go to mona's. she totally took care of me and made me all better.
it's been a while since the last time i flipped out that badly. part of it felt good because i feel like i get shit on a lot, and i feel like i see all of these injustices on a daily basis, and for the past month i have pretty much kept my mouth shut about it. i've just been working my ass off, spending some time with friends (though i've kind of toned down my social life a lot, and i think i'm a little bit more stable for it), and sleeping. there are so many reasons for me to be pissed off, VALID reasons, and yesterday everything just blew up.
anyways, i just wanted to share that...you know...a little slice of life from leah. sometimes i think i am fucked up beyond repair, and sometimes i think i'm fine just the way i am. i mean, really everyone is superfuckedup in their own special way...some people are better at hiding it. i just want to live in a world where things make sense at least 75% of the time. i want to be somewhere that does not and will never exist. human beings are not cut out for logic. you combine opposable thumbs, complex brains, hormones, and emotions and what you get is one FUCKED up planet.
that's all i really have to say. i think.
it's been a while since the last time i flipped out that badly. part of it felt good because i feel like i get shit on a lot, and i feel like i see all of these injustices on a daily basis, and for the past month i have pretty much kept my mouth shut about it. i've just been working my ass off, spending some time with friends (though i've kind of toned down my social life a lot, and i think i'm a little bit more stable for it), and sleeping. there are so many reasons for me to be pissed off, VALID reasons, and yesterday everything just blew up.
anyways, i just wanted to share that...you know...a little slice of life from leah. sometimes i think i am fucked up beyond repair, and sometimes i think i'm fine just the way i am. i mean, really everyone is superfuckedup in their own special way...some people are better at hiding it. i just want to live in a world where things make sense at least 75% of the time. i want to be somewhere that does not and will never exist. human beings are not cut out for logic. you combine opposable thumbs, complex brains, hormones, and emotions and what you get is one FUCKED up planet.
that's all i really have to say. i think.